Mentoring

Your New Normal

I just want things to get back to normal.
Does that sound familiar? If you’ve ever walked a road where your life has been altered in some drastic form or fashion, it’s likely that you have repeated those nine words. I know I have. I said it shortly after Chris’ confession to me over six years ago. I wanted my normal life back. It was much more comfortable. Things were in their right place. I liked it better and quite frankly, I knew what to expect. But within a matter of weeks, I learned how to live my life again. I had learned my new normal. What is it for you? Could be that you learned something devastating about your spouse. It’s possible that your child is sick with a life threatening illness. Maybe someone has recently passed away and your world has been rocked. Simply moving to another town with no friends, no family and no church can catapult you into a depression. Whatever it is, you have a choice to make. You’ll either stay where you are wishing your days away or you will choose to embrace your new normal. Something to consider.

17 thoughts on “Your New Normal”

  1. Cindy
    I started reading your blog a month or so ago and have so enjoyed it. I was directed to it through my best friend Dusty’s site. Although I haven’t had anything traumatic happen to change my normal, we have had somewhat of a lifestyle change. My husband started a new job in February. He is away from home Monday through Friday. He is a great husband and father. I did not realize how much I depended on him for just the small things. When he is home on the weekends, we make up for the lost time as much as we can. I can see God’s hand in all of this. He has really stretched me. And during this time, I have really drawn closer to the Lord. I have learned many new things about myself.
    I have really enjoyed reading your posts each day. They are so encouraging and uplifting. Glad to see you are walking again!

  2. New “normal” can happen every day. You’re so right—-choosing to embrace your situation makes all the difference…it’s an attitude choice!

  3. I didn’t have quite the ending that you did. My former spouse (unsaved) had several affairs over an 8 year period and was abusive in every sense of the word. Even though we were married for eight years I was a single mom. Then, of course, in the years that followed our divorce I had to support myself and my boys by myself. My “new normal” is now being married to a man who thinks the world of me and actually goes out of his way to spend time with me. My husband actually taught me how to show love to my former spouse. He has always been so kind to him and that speaks volumes to the boys. In fact, my former spouse asked to speak to my husband on Father’s Day and was sure to wish him a Happy Father’s Day. I cried. This is my new normal.

  4. I get a new normal all the time it seems. Just when I get use to the current normal something else happens to change it. I would say that the biggest “New Normal” lately would be living with the father in law and taking care of him. We count him as our oldest child that has a driver’s license. 🙂

    Happiness is a choice! Normal is what you make it. I’m with Robin…. It’s an attitude choice and I choose to not waste time being yucky. 🙂

  5. Thanks for this post!

    I understand wanting the comfort of what you knew. The known is sometimes safer than the unknown!! I do agree with Robin and Theresa!

    I had to find my new normal, like you, in my marriage, myself, and my walk with the Lord. Ya know….I kind of like it though! 🙂 I am soooo proud of my husband and how far he has come, my marriage is better, AND my faith is at a much higher level. It has been great to see God move in my husband’s life and to see him now minister and reach out to other men going through the same things he has.

    Here is a shameless plug….For any men (or women) interested, my husband now has a website and blogs for men. The site is http://www.MenonPurpose.com

  6. Me? My “event” happened recently and I know that a big part of me embracing reality is accepting the truth. Accepting that these are the cards dealt, this Is our lives, and I have no control over others that have caused such events. Not an easy thing for a control freak…

    In the midst tho, God has given me friends who have shown me the other side…that God can use this to build up a CRAZY cool testimony for his glory! Like my friend who is starting a non-profit with her “new normal.” I think ya know her…project3one 🙂

  7. I am waiting for my ‘new normal’ in about a year (hopefully).

    I think about this every single day.

  8. I started my blog in the first place to write about my “new normal”. I didn’t think it would last as long as it has and I never imagined it would get worse as the year went on.

    Dealing with a life altering illness and a husband filing for divorce. This is not my idea of normal but it is my life. God’s not surprised, and boy am I glad about that!!

  9. oh yah. i think i’m on my 83rd “new normal”. What other choice do we have really?

    Great perspective Cindy. Love it!

  10. About 3 weeks ago on the way to Florida I rolled our SUV 3 times in the middle of an Alabama highway with my husband and 3 precious children in the car. Everyone ok, no serious injuries. Lives changed.

    God tapped on 4 of our shoulders and warned us of danger. No one spoke up or shared with the other family members of our “feeling”. God specifically told my husband to get a hotel. We didnt. God took care of us anyway. We now listen to his voice and talk openly about it within our family…even when its hard to distinguish God’s voice from our own fears.

    This is our new normal.

  11. I’ve had a lot of new “normals” in my time. A lot of them I discovered I didn’t really like. Meaning, I didn’t really like me. So. I decided I would be “different” instead of “normal.” That way, I can keep moving forward, I can keep running the race to The Finish Line; I just have to change my pace, or direction, when I see obstacles in my way. And, of course, sometimes I am so weary from the race that I am on the ground, exhausted, using every last ounce of willpower to call out to The Almighty, and clawing my fingers into the dirt while slowly pulling myself forward.

    But for Him, that is enough.

  12. First off, Love your blog. Almost 3 years ago our new normal began. Our daughter Laine was born with a rare genetic disorder. She is doing well today but I think the most that I have learned about “new normal” is that really the issue is being diappointed at what we thought our lives would be. I didn’t expect to have a child with medical issues, you didn’t expect that you husband and marriage could have had the issues it did. But…along the way God uses the pain to help us to bring us to a point where we depend on Him. For us our “new normal” allows to worry less about things that just don’t matter and focus on the big stuff, be more spontanious, and more willing to trust God in his plan, have more fun and just live our days doing things we are passionate about. Thanks for your great blogand words of wisdom! Just another sister in Christ

  13. First off, Love your blog. Almost 3 years ago our new normal began. Our daughter Laine was born with a rare genetic disorder. She is doing well today but I think the most that I have learned about “new normal” is that really the issue is being diappointed at what we thought our lives would be. I didn’t expect to have a child with medical issues, you didn’t expect that you husband and marriage could have had the issues it did. But…along the way God uses the pain to help us to bring us to a point where we depend on Him. For us our “new normal” allows to worry less about things that just don’t matter and focus on the big stuff, be more spontanious, and more willing to trust God in his plan, have more fun and just live our days doing things we are passionate about. Thanks for your great blog and words of wisdom!

  14. Hi Cindy, I’ve just come over to your site from a link on Heidi’s blog. I was so inspired to read about all that you and your husband have learnt about God through your experiences, and just how amazing God is at bringing healing, grace and restoration to our lives. Your story is such a testimony of God’s power and goodness. God bless 🙂

  15. “embrace my new normal” — that is so good.

    i think my reluctance to do that comes in accepting the reality of my situation… but you’re right. it’s necessary.

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