A Crisis Of Belief

I’ve just come through another one. And this sucker lasted months. This passage…season…journey…is now in my rear view mirror, Praise Jesus. In case some of you are unclear as to the meaning of a crisis of belief, allow me to explain. It’s usually a point in your life where you must make a decision. It’s where you decide what you believe about God. While I was in the midst of this most recent crisis of belief, I found myself in unchartered waters. My “boat” had not traveled these seas so I was searching frantically for a lighthouse. Oh, I knew Who the lighthouse was but for the life in me, I could not paddle in the right direction. I could not get answers to my questions. I could not get my mind around certain circumstances. Or maybe I just didn’t want to. The first time I ever experienced a crisis of belief was after the death of my father, and the second time was after Chris’ confession. For me, these crises arrived in my life either during or shortly after a traumatic experience. However, this last one was different. There was no sadness in my own life. Nothing bad was going on in my family. I hadn’t lost anyone close to me. No one dear to me was sick. But I was uneasy, nonetheless. And I just didn’t like it. Not one bit. Our pastor recently spoke about this in a message about Habakkuk. As he spoke, God reminded me why I was placed on this earth. And things became more clear to me. You see, as much as I’d like to think that I am here to be a good and faithful wife, raise godly sons and minister to people, I’m not. I have been placed on this earth to bring glory to my God. My Creator. The King of Kings. The Great I Am. And this bringing glory to God is done in a variety of ways, such as being a good and faithful wife, raising godly sons and ministering to people. Do you see where I’m going with this? I had it all mixed up. A lot of people have it all mixed up. Things go wrong in life EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY DAY. They do. That’s just the way it is. People commit acts of violence toward the innocent. A judge doesn’t give a fair ruling in a trial. A man has to raise his children alone after their mother has deserted them. A young mother finds a lump in her breast. Every single day. And as hard as it is to say this, it’s in times like these where we are challenged to bring Him glory even more. I know this very well. So, I sit here in peace. Sometimes that peace is accompanied by tears. But it is still peace. I am fully aware that my life here on earth is but a mist. I recognize that my life is not my own, although many times throughout the day, I try to take it back. I’m here to bring him glory. If my spouse is ever unfaithful…. I’m here to bring him glory through my circumstance. If my test results are positive for cancer… I’m here to bring him glory through my circumstance. If my child gets harmed by another…. I’m here to bring him glory through my circumstance. If I’m tortured for the sake of Christ… I’m here to bring him glory through my circumstance. If…

21 thoughts on “A Crisis Of Belief”

  1. this is probably in conjunction with unforgiveness, where we are least like christ.

    i feel i’m great in crisis…not because i endure well but because i push through and lead out well. but most of the time god wants us to endure during the crisis…that is why he has us there…to grow us to a point of glory to himself.

    i suck at this…

    i really believe i’ve been in one of these the last year, and i remained there i believe because i lost sight of what god wanted to grow in me…to endure my own crisis so i could pray for someone through theirs.

    and thus teach me to love someone else more than myself.

  2. Cindy- I can totally relate (although you write more eloquently 🙂 I think when we hear the words “Crisis Of belief” then we think it must be in the middle of an actual “crisis”. When it hits on an “ordinary” day and things in our life seem good, then we start to question who we are and why we are being so selfish. I mean I go through the checklist of, “I have friends and a great marriage and God has come through before so why I am struggling?”. I’m still working on dying daily and working out my faith on a daily basis. Guess we are constantly growing, huh? In spite of all things good or bad, God IS the same God and I have to remind myself of that. Thanks for helping me see I am not alone 🙂

  3. Cindy
    Craig’s message on Habakkuk has been great to hear! This past weekend what I took away from his message was to listen to what God is telling you and to write it down. He said to write it down because we tend to brush it off or make excuses to why we heard something, that we may talk ourselfs out of thinking that God was giving us a message. For the past weeks I have been feeling like I need to handle my families finances. This is a HUGE leap for me, because I have panic attacks just getting bills in the mail- I won’t even open them. This has been weighing on my heart to help do the finance to #1 understand my husbands burden and #2 being dept free is our goal and I need to contribute to that and not just with a paycheck. I have faith in God to lead me I know I will probably make mistakes but I’m willing and ready!

  4. becoming selfless is the only way i can truly bring HIM glory. It’s a flesh battle each day.

    I tend to wanta take things on myself. and all that really says is I don’t trust the One who should be receiving Glory…in spite of the circumstance.

    I have got to make a choice each day before my feet hit the floor…who’s it gonna be? me or HIM…

  5. Oh, I SO know what you are talking about. I’m so glad to hear you’re getting some realization of what’s been going on. It sometimes seems that if we’re not in CRISIS MODE, we sort of flounder around aimlessly. I’m so glad He’s constant!!

  6. You put that very eloquently. It is hard to be ready for action when nothing is happening. We must always wear our armour and bring him glory. Maybe it is a true test of faith when we turn to Him when things are right, instead of just when there is a crisis. Thank you once again for making me say “That Cindy, She needs to write a book.”

  7. My sister just wrote about her 10 year crisis of faith. It is so hard. And lonely.

    I want to move next door and be your new bff. I love the way you wrote this. So good. And…it brought glory to God.

  8. I absolutely love your writing.It speaks directly to my heart, challenges me, gets me really thinking.Thank you.

  9. It is so hard to watch a loved one going through this crisis of faith! My daughter has struggled with this for a few years but seems to be on the other side and embracing her faith and walking towards the Lord and striving to trust Him fully! As a Mom, I still have not found the proper balance of stepping in and verbalizing my opinion and stepping back, praying and staying quiet. I am learning to listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit when I am to speak and when I am to be quiet…allowing Him to speak to her! Love, love, love your blog!! I share it with LOTS of women here in Ohio!

  10. Well Cindy!!

    I must have gotten the same memo from God that you did because I wrote about the exact same thing, after changing it 2 times. But God was stirring this morning and I wrote.

    Now I know it was God ordained.

    I love your perspective.. it was so refreshing. I love when God reveals himself and He did it again here.

  11. Thank you for sharing this. I’ve been feeling like this lately too, but couldn’t understand exactly what it was that was going on. Your openness has really helped me to see that this is exactly what I’ve been going through.

  12. “I had it all mixed up. A lot of people have it all mixed up.”
    Rinse, repeat. shhh…yer spilling enemy secrets. If you guys get a real handle on this, you just might become the signs and wonders to this lost world you are meant to be. Especially if you learn that this is most problematic if you stop being distracted from this realization.
    That could be dangerous. (grin)

  13. sister, you hit me right between the eyes with this one!
    i have been coming to this same realization lately. sounds like God is calling us to a greater purpose than ourselves, He does that so well! (and so lovingly, i might add)
    thanks for your transparency and insight.
    love you 🙂

    “Yes, Lord, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.”
    -Isaiah 26:8

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.