You Humble Me, Lord

Norah Jones is one of my favorite singer/songwriters.  I think her jazzy, sultry tone is perfect for an evening on the porch or a long drive to my home state to pass the hours.  Because, you understand, I know every single solitary note and word to her songs.  And I sing loud.  This isn’t necessarily because her roots are deep in the heart of Texas.  While that definitely does this misplaced Texan’s heart some good, it’s not the only reason I love her.  One song in particular of hers that I love goes like this:

You humble me, Lord.  I’m on my knees…empty.  You humble me, Lord.  So, please, please, please…forgive me.

On December 15, 2008, I began a journey that was sure to end in failure.  Or at least that is what I sort of thought.  Even though I showed absolute gumption and sheer determination on the exterior, on the inside, well, I was scared like a schoolgirl who wanted to call her mom.  Facing this dreaded demon of mine called food addiction was something I didn’t think I could do.  I mean, as I write this I am just three months shy of my 39th birthday.  Waiting 38 years to deal with this doesn’t exactly show how high on my priority list it was. But finally, I could take it no more.  The bondage, the jail cell that I had put myself in was growing smaller by the day.  I had to do something. So I took a leap. With that leap came enthusiasm, nervousness, excitement, my 30-lb weight loss and subsequent 47-point drop in my already high cholesterol, but most of all, freedom came.  And it was well received.  I used phrases like “not today” and “food is fuel” to help me train my mind to see food as merely sustenance and not maintain my romance with food.  And it worked.  For a long time.  In fact, seven months later, it’s still working. For the most part. I must tell you that I’m struggling.  Like the other day when I took two “unplanned” bites of the blackberry crumble that was leftover from my schedule “sweet day”.  Or just the other day when the hubby and I made the most amazing flatbread pizza.  I had an extra piece.  I really wanted fifteen extra pieces, but I didn’t. That’s something, right? So, I write all of  this on the WWW because it’s what I do.  But also because I want you, my fellow sojourners in this thing called life, to know that life is hard.  Days will come that will get the best of you.  You will fail.  You will be disappointed in yourself. And that is okay. The Lord humbles people in different ways.  Maybe this food addiction, my own personal “thorn in the flesh” is what I need to keep me postured toward humility because I certainly can’t do it without Him. Shake the dust off your feet and press on.  There is a goal waiting for you.

4 thoughts on “You Humble Me, Lord”

  1. Oh! We are huge Nora Jones fans and I absolutely LOVE that song! Thanks for sharing your heart here and being so real. I find it so refreshing, encouraging and just plain ol’ awesome! You are such a blessing to so many people. I usually lurk but I had to comment today!

    And, on a side note, if you really like Nora, you may also like Francesa Battistelli. She’s a Christian Artist and has that same sound as Nora. Love her! 🙂

    Have a great day!

  2. I can totally relate. For the past 28 years, food has been the love of my life. It’s so hard to put this behind me and learn there is more to life than eating.

    Norah Jones is an awesome and inspiring singer! There is just something about her voice that calms everything…

  3. I originally found out who you were through Streamingfaith.com Last year when I was going through a divorce…your posts boosted my faith. I am so humbled by God’s Grace. My ex-husband and I remarried 2 weeks ago….Yay for us and Go God!! We are so blessed and excited….your testimony I can certainly relate to and I am now on the other side of it and I can see all that God has done to bless me and today I am learning to be more humble and transparent and I can’t tell you how much your witness inspires me to be more real and just be myself. I saw this link to this particular post and it struck a nerve….I was once overweight…I was miserable and in February 2008 I quite smoking and started exercising and lost 50 lbs…thank you Jesus….It was so hard. Now I am at a point where life is alot busier so I have to work harder at eating right and I have to keep up my exercising but I am learning that I love food more than I should and I eat more than I need to and while I’m still at my gracious 145…I am also planning to have another baby and well….I cannot just keep pigging out like I have been….so thank you again for posting this and reminding me that the devil attacks through many many ways and right now he is attacking me through food…but I will win.

    Love ya girl and so proud of you and Chris and the examples you are. I look forward to learning alot more from you as a woman and mother and wife. You are a true blessing and a gift from God.

    Keep on keepin on sister!!!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.