Mentoring

Where’s The Balance?

balance.jpeg

Just last week I wrote that everything is relative and a couple of days later, I’m designing the invites to a party I’d like to have in honor of pitiful me. Where’s the balance? When do we allow ourselves to feel sadness for minimal things in our lives, like a torn calf muscle? In the grand scheme of things, my situation is no big deal. It’s temporal. More than likely, I’ll be up and about within the next several weeks. But it’s still been difficult, even as simple as this problem is. I can’t deny that I’ve been sad. And I don’t try to because I know that when I have in the past, it will eventually find its way out. So you tell me. How do you balance feeling sadness for minor things, such as the loss of a pet or a fender bender, with the fact that people are dying of cancer? That some people cannot feed their children? That others have no place to lay their heads at night? Looking forward to your insight. Chime in…

15 thoughts on “Where’s The Balance?”

  1. two words: ice cream
    it’s the worlds best remedy for imbalance!

    When Ben & Jerry’s won’t do, I think there’s strength in realizing where you are, what you’re feeling and how you need to cope. Sometimes that coping is best achieved when recognizing, as you are, that there certainly are people “out there” who have to drink a much more bitter cup. It gives an ounce of perspective to a valid life issue.

    new Ben & Jerry’s flavor: perspective and pistachio, coming to a freezer near you!

  2. i think we can often use this as a barometer of christ-likeness in our lives…when only the things inside our circle or that which we see breaks our heart.

    i guess we have to ask ourselves when was the last time we took someone else’s community issues to god?

    this is also why we disciple…to effect change beyond ourselves.

  3. I think my balance usually comes from perspective. It never fails that when I am feeling bummed about something in my own life I run into someone who is suffering through a much more difficult trial. It also always helps to take action for those people who have it worse. In the form of physical help or prayer. Helping someone else always makes it feel better. That said, it’s ok to be sad for a little bit that you got something you didn’t want and weren’t planning on!

  4. The last couple of years when I have gone through things that made me very sad, I have just let myself be sad and not try to stuff it down. I think that it is healthy to let ourselves be sad and acknowledge the emotions that we feel. Eventually, the sadness lessens and we can feel stronger for having gone through a rough time.

    It definetely doesn’t hurt to indulge in yourself a little bit…your favorite ice cream, a few good movies, bubble baths and a few good magazines or books… πŸ™‚ Just don’t shut yourself off from your family and friends for long periods of time. Often times after a day or two of sadness, it really helps to get a change of scenery such as something like a project that will divert my attention and help me get a new perspective on my situation. This could be anything from a shopping trip, drive with the family, or craft project.

    Just remember you are not alone…not only do you have friends and family in person, but all of us praying for you out here in internet land. πŸ™‚

  5. You feel what you feel. It’s okay. There have been times in my life when I minimized every feeling by comparing it to someone who had cancer or someone who was poor (3rd world poor – not “I can only eat Taco Bell poor”). It’s okay to feel what you feel. It’s not okay to wallow in it or work to make others feel sorry for you but it’s okay to grieve things that are lost to you. Maybe the pulled muscle isn’t about the pulled muscle but more about the fact that you aren’t 18 years old any more and your body doesn’t always do what you would like for it to do…that’s a lose and it is okay to grieve a lose. I grieved when I got married…I was so very happy to get married. My husband is incredible but I lost my singleness…my quiet, peaceful, do whatever I want singleness.

    I find that at times I get down when I have alot of change going on in my life even though in I know change is necessary for growth. For me, heart knowledge sometimes takes a little while to catch up with head knowledge.

  6. Pain is all relative and no matter how big or little it is in the big scheme of things it REALLY HURTS in the moment. So I allow myself to feel the feelings, maybe write or pray about it, until I empty out and then can put in in perspective. Thinking and praying for a bigger life hurt of someone else’s can really but things into balance for me. And I don’t have to look far to find someone else who’s going through something worse than me!

  7. I just wrote this morning on my blog about christ’s character and one of things that the Lord really put on my heart as I penned those words at ungodly hour 3, was that

    “If you choose to believe that His reflection exists through your life then you and He make a powerful team. Because He takes what you do and turns it into something incredibly amazing!!!”

    Even on the sad heavy days and I have to look and to see what God is doing through me.

    It’s so hard some days, like right now, I’m going through a medical challenge with my husband. It will change our family.
    But if I look at the disease and not at the prospect of what God is doing in my life. Then what do I gain?? NADA.

    I want more….. more each day…

    balance.. I love that word. Great Post Cindy!!

  8. Here is my balance… for whatever its worth (maybe 2 cents; maybe not!)… everything I go through is for my refinement or can be used for my refining; from my lost car keys (and yes, I’ve cried over that thank you very much) to loosing a loved one to cancer. Do I hurt for the mother that can’t feed her children? Yes, I do and I will try everything I can do to help her. But, I don’t care what anyone says, in the moment that I am walking through my own sufferings, it is just as hurtful and painful in my world as the gal next door that is walking through cancer. It is my moment, my reninement and my hurt. Just as her cancer is hers. And, in a moment, I’ll get over myself, but in that moment while I am being refined, you bet.. some tears are gonna be shed!!!

  9. i don’t think it’s always about “what i’m going through versus what others might be going through”. if i always look at it this way, i’ll easily just sweep my own needs and feelings under the rug because yes, in the grand scheme of things, they mean nothing.

    yet, in my little insignificant life, i find meaning in my present because God does. He found my insignificance significant enough to bear my burdens, hold me in His lap, and whisper sweet nothings to my heart. He sees. He knows. He cares. and that gives me permission to fully face and feel what i’m going through — even if to others it seems inconsequential.

  10. my children help me maintain perspective. They find joy in the smallest things that is always makes me smile. They always know what to say at just the right time.

  11. I liked your words from a few days ago. ‘it could be worse you could be on fire’
    I know when you are used to going non-stop and then something other than yourself makes you slow down it is hard, but maybe He wants you too, I think it is great your Men have stepped up to the plate and joyfully at that. Enjoy this time to absorb, watch them and listen to them. time flies by so fast. praying for you! H

  12. Pain is never relative. OK, some of my relatives are a pain, but that’s beside the point. Pain is always subjective. You can hurt because someone else is in pain, but only you can feel your pain. Well, except for God, but that’s it! (grin)
    All kidding aside, pain is one of those things that is not about quantity or quality. It’s not up for comparison with someone else’s pain. Pain is one of those things that defines the word “experience”. It focuses the self on the only two people in your head. I guess my opinion is, there is no balancing it. IMHO, as always.

  13. perspective – that’s how you maintain balance. however, i think it’s perfectly okay for people to have a pity party and not compare what they think is their “minor” thing to someone else’s “major” thing. i’m not saying to stay at that party too long. but we need to give ourselves a break sometimes and not be quick to say “oh i shouldn’t be down, look at how much worse so and so has it”. we’re entitled to feel down when life throws us a curve. then ask God for perspective on the situation and ask Him to reveal the joy in the midst of it. balance is hard. (oh as i just wrote that i have to laugh at myself. my phsyical issue has been chronic vertigo for a year. so balance really is hard – ha) ok, enough babbling.

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