Couldn’t fall asleep last night. I found myself thinking about how beautiful you were when we first met. I’m still captivated by you.I know, right? I still have to get to the place where I don’t cut myself down in front of people and where I don’t look in the mirror and wish for a tummy tuck. I suppose I’ll get there eventually. But, I am so thankful that I have a man who will love me through all of this. Allowing me to spend the rest of my life with Chris Beall? Good one, God.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret about me. I struggle with the way I see myself. There. I said it. And now you know. I’m not much of a worrier. I don’t find myself overspending on clothes or items for my house. I am not in bondage to alcohol, drugs, tobacco or pornography. But I do wish I looked like I did when I was 21. Don’t we all. Because when I was 21, I looked like the world says I should. Now that I’m 38, things are not as they were. Gravity is definitely having its effect on me. Did I say that outloud? My husband, my best friend, the love of my life knows this struggle I have. He is always so kind with his words and tries to reassure me that I am still the apple of his eye. Just the other day, he sent this text to me: