Marriage

Visualize The Destruction

My pastor talked about this in one of his recent messages.  He was talking about adultery and how if we would all just visualize the destruction that adultery would cause before we would even go that route, we would probably choose to stay put. So, if I could, I would like to appeal to you on behalf of all men and women whose hearts have been broken due to infidelity. Please don’t do it. I know she makes you feel good about yourself while you are at work and that she appreciates your jokes while your wife hasn’t laughed in months.  I know that he tells you the things you want your husband to tell you.  I understand that something in you has come alive with this person’s presence in your life.  But, please know this: It is not love.  It is an illusion. And if you go this route, you will regret it.  Sure, the pleasure and excitement are there and it will make you feel more alive than you have in months.  But the moment after?  Guilt will cover you like molasses syrup and no matter how hard you try to wipe it off, you will be sticky. And the destruction begins. You will have to look into your wife’s eyes and watch the pain in hers as you admit to her and tell her that your vows didn’t mean as much to you as they did to her all those years ago.  You will have to deal with the fact that she may never fully trust you again.  That when you come to her and want to touch her, chances are, she’ll wonder if that is the way you touched the other woman.  And you’ll get mad at her for not believing that you’ve changed in the last month, even though you have no right to get mad, and she’ll leave the room crying and you’ll wonder when she’ll “get over it”. If that’s not bad enough, you will then have to face your children and tell them that even though Mommy does love them so much, right now she has chosen to love herself more by being with another man.  Their security will diminish and they will act in ways that you never dreamed possible.  They will experience rejection and anger and because they are so young, still developing in every way, they will not know what to do with their feelings.  So, they will act out and will do things that cause destruction. Because, you see, it’s been modeled for them. If you marriage is lacking, don’t give up.  If your family isn’t what you hoped it would be, press on.  Anything worth having is going to take work. Try watering your own garden. Please, please, please don’t commit adultery. Visualize the destruction.

9 thoughts on “Visualize The Destruction”

  1. I agree, Cindy. Don’t do it.

    All of the destruction you mentioned? Exactly on target. Exactly.

    And then there’s being broken. And repentance. And redemption. Thank God for redemption.

    Hard to read this post. Alas, He is faithful……..

  2. Also, the scary and sad part is that more and more men, in particular, do not care who will be hurt due to their actions. We need to pray that God will begin transforming minds and marriages! So many people are hurting right now. Good post as always Cindy. 🙂

  3. I echo Cindy, nikkie and Tanda! Been there. I still have some raw edges that are healing. But, our God is faithful and He has victory. We simply need to reach out and take His hand and let Him lead us through it. Amen!

  4. Excellent post Cindy! I know my husband wishes he had visualized better….however on the flip side I have to say that because he didn’t and we went through what we went through I now know how awesome our God is. I had no clue (even though I thought I did) beforehand. For that I will be forever grateful…no matter how treacherous the path to realization. I saw your previous post about sending you our marriage stories. I’m planning on doing so in the near future.

    Once again…thanks for a wonderful blog!

  5. Awesome Post!!!! I was on your website and decided to take a peek at the Marriage Articles. God Bless You. I have been throught this pain and God was the only one who repaired the Marriage.

  6. This is so true. Dealing in this area and it does cause alot of destruction. This is my 2nd marriage and I really love my husband and he has committed adultrey. Im willing to forgive and move on but things are not working out that way. Im still trusting God and movingforward with what God wants me to do. This was a blessing to read.

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