Motherhood

Trust Vs. Understanding

I don’t expect his nearly 11-year old heart to understand all of my decisions. What I do expect is for him to trust me.  To know that the decisions I make on his behalf are because I love him. But he still struggles when I won’t let him watch a certain something on TV or spend the night at a friend’s house whose family I know nothing about or tell him to put his iTouch away during his little brother’s baseketball game or let him have a computer in his room with unmonitored internet access. Is this child crazy?  A computer in his room?  Over my freakin’ dead body. What? Being a mom isn’t easy.  I say no alot when many other moms are saying yes.  He has to do chores around the house without getting paid.  I am teaching him to open the door for me and look for ways to serve me so that he can learn how to treat his future wife one day by serving her.  I expect him to make eye contact, give a firm handshake and say, “Nice to meet you” when he is introduced to someone. I figure he’ll thank me one day. In about 15 years or so. Until then, I’ll just keep being a mean mom.

17 thoughts on “Trust Vs. Understanding”

  1. I’m right there with ya, sister! My 11 yr old girl doesn’t understand why I do certain things either. I’m teaching my girl to learn to be respectful and truthful. Often times the punishment ends up affecting ME because I will ground her from something I was really counting on her going to—like a slumber party or a special mother-daughter event.

    But we are not raising children. We are raising future adults who need to be mindful that their actions, whether big or small, affect other people.

    So, you go on ahead with your big bad mom self and teach that boy of yours to open the door for my girl!!

  2. Thanks Cindy! Needed this one today…I have a 12 year old going on 30 that cant understand why he cant get his ears pierced or wear his pants around his knee caps(LOL)…I keep praying that one day he’ll understand WHY he cant listen to certain songs or go on unsupervised mall runs…MAYBE SOMEDAY?????

  3. Cindy—I have four teenagers (13, 15, 17, 19). Some things we did right; some we did wrong. We tried never to lose sight that we are raising up adults…that is, we are not raising them to be children, but to be adults. I pray daily for wisdom. The ups outnumber the downs. Most days, anyway. This has been a manic-depressive month that way. I will pray for you if you pray for me. Strike that. I’ll pray for you, regardless if you have time to pray for me. <3

  4. Amen sister!! We are trying to do the same with our girls. I want them to grow up knowing that every decision is to make them better Christians, future wives, mothers and not be afriad to stand up for what they believe in. “Just because everyone is doing it doesn’t make it right” seems to be the quote of our house lately.
    You go girl!!!

  5. AMEN. My 11 year old daughter will be reading this when we get home so she can see that there ARE other moms in the world who love their kids enough to say no and be the ‘mean’ one for the sake of not only their future but their eternity! AMEN AGAIN!
    btw I say ‘over my freakin’ dead body with gusto! yes ma’am!

  6. To take a quote from someone who recently said it…you are wise beyond your years…hmmmmm I wonder where I heard that recently! 🙂

  7. My 15-year old daughter is just ending her first week of restriction. I’m not going to go into the whole “what were you thinking” story, however I will say that we’ve been told that we’re “way, way overreacting” and “nobody else got grounded.” I’ve ALWAYS been the mean mom…according to my daughter. But I’m also the mom who get’s asked 80% of the time to have the sleepover at her house. I’m usually on for the 11 pm post-dance pickup. I was asked by my daughter and her friends to be the adult participant for their 24-Hour Relay team last year. I might be mean but I sure am popular! 🙂 It took awhile, and she definitely didn’t get it at 11, but my daughter is gradually understanding that she’s lucky that I have high standards for her and I care enough to instill them. I truly believe that our children are gifts from God. He entrusts us to raise them so that they have good judgment and always seek wisdom….and unfortunately making sure they’re on this path requires us to be “mean” sometimes. Love your blog Cindy!

  8. Cindy I think “mean mums” are what the world needs today to keep families from tearing apart!!! God bless you.

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