Motherhood

This Child Of Mine

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So, my baby boy, who is 3 1/2 by the way, decided to put ham up both of his nostrils today. Yesireebob, he did. He laughed his head off even though I was fuming. I told him to blow air out his nose hoping that would do the trick. It worked for one, but not the other. I told him to stay put and not move a muscle while I went to get the tweezers. I know, I know, not wise to put sharp objects near a child’s brain when you have no medical training whatsoever. Seriously, though, I have watched a lot of medical shows and my friend, Brett, is finishing his 4th year in medical school in May. Surely that has to count for something. As I return, with tweezers in hand, I tell him to lay still. He then realizes the seriousness of all of this and then begins to apologize profusely. “I sorry, momma. I sorry, momma.” I began with surgeon-like hands to remove the bits of lunch meat from my son’s nasal cavity. It wasn’t good enough because it was too dark in there. I run to get the flashlight and tell him to lay still again. He actually obeyed. And he was actually still. With flashlight in hand, I see into his nose and am able to get more pieces of ham out of his nostril. How much ham did he put in there? A lot. So much so that when he gave one final blow, ham the size of a small jaw breaker shot out of his nostril and landed on his shirt. He could breathe again. I could breathe again. Dear Lord, please help me keep this child alive.  Amen. **Originally posted on November 12, 2007.

17 thoughts on “This Child Of Mine”

  1. I thought this sounded familiar…I’m thinking, “Seth is 3 1/2?” “Brett is in med school?” 🙂 So basically, what you’re saying is, almost a year ago you performed life-saving surgery, my friend. 🙂

  2. There is no other word for your prayer other than…AWESOME.
    I say this in my heart SEVERAL times a day! Thanks for the smiles today.

  3. My 2 1/2 yr. old daughter did this in the car with foam pieces she pulled off of an egg crate mattress while we were driving home from a weekend camping trip. Where do they get the ideas for these things??? 🙂

  4. That’s so funny 🙂

    Last year when I was a pre-k assistant a little boy put candy in his ear. He cried all day about his ear hurting and we had NO idea what had happened… until after his grandmother took him to the doctor…

    I guess you have to do it to learn it… I was notorious for sticking pennies up my nose.

  5. My daughter (when she was 3) put a pea up her nostril. And of course, I panicked. Then I put her on the kitchen table, flexed my tweezers and said many prayers. My son has swallowed a quarter and an acorn…no tweezers that time. I enjoy your stories and love your blog!

  6. Sorry about your son’s nose miseries…I’m trying hard not to laugh. Really.

    My poor sister in law has called poison control so many times thanks to her 7-year old son, Christopher, that they literally know her by name. A few years ago he stuck a soy nut so far up his nose that they had to go to the E.R. to have it removed.

    And if you can believe it, a few days ago I was up in Tennessee helping my son and daughter in law move when my 1 1/2 year old grand-daughter crammed bread up her nose. My very pregnant daughter in law freaked, found a syringe bulb and practically sucked the poor child’s brain right out of her head. Soon, however, a piece of bread the size of a nickel appeared…and we all got back to the business of packing…after hiding the bread. LOL

  7. kassidi did that when she was 3, too. she wadded up tissue and shoved it up her little nose holes and i went in with TOOTHPICKS!

    WHA!?!?

  8. i was the amazing aunt who got to remove reeses pieces from my nieces nose…
    INSTRUCTIONS:
    let the shell soften, then push her nose to crunch it, then BLOW BABY BLOW!!!!

  9. Around the same age, I stuffend an entire kleenex up my nose. My mother thought it was an orange seed. She had to take me to the doctor. And when he pulled out an entire kleenex she was mortified…who was keeping an eye on this kid? In her defense she had a 6 month old a the time.

    Good work with the tweezers.

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