At approximately midnight on December 4, 2009,the house next door to me caught on fire. This house is literally within 100 feet of our home. As you can probably imagine, I was a little, um, let’s say, fretful. Here is my account of the night. I do hope you enjoy it. I was going upstairs to check on my kids and that’s when the flames caught my eye. After doing a double take and managing to avoid shouting any expletives, thankyouverymuch, I called for my husband. The sound of my voice must have alarmed him because in no time flat, his super ninja skills kicked in and he was outside with a camera shooting some amazing photos, ifidosaysomyself, and calling the neighbors to inform them. Sorry ladies, he’s taken. The moment I saw the flames and did indeed verify THAT THE HOUSE NEXT DOOR TO ME IS ON FIRE, HOLY COW, IT’S ON FIRE, I managed to dial 911. Took a couple of times to get the numbers in the right order because I went into sheer panic mode. Yes, yes, your calm, faithful blogger who typically walks a stable walk WENT ABSOLUTELY BALLISTIC and could barely speak an intelligible word, which is embarrassing considering the college degree that is framed on my wall. I think my 911 phone call sounded something like this: “House, fire, not, me, please, house, flames…” Or something coherent like that. The 911 operator was wonderfully calm which made me feel like a raving lunatic and also surprisingly comforted at the same time even though THE HOUSE NEXT DOOR TO ME WAS ON FIRE, PLEASE SOMEBODY SEND A FIRE TRUCK, IT’S ON FIRE! It did take the firefighters about 15 minutes to get out here because we practically live in Wichita, Kansas. And once they came to our subdivision, they went down the wrong street because the person who named the streets must have been drinking when he did. But, after all of that happened, you’ll be happy to know that the firefighters and other personnel on the scene were quick and efficient. Without any fire hydrants, they constructed a little pool, if you will, and used their trucks to put water in it so that they could spray the house. I was VERY impressed and even thought about going to firefighter school after that. But, then I realized that I wouldn’t enjoy it if my hair got singed during a fire especially since I pay for highlights. A news crew even came to catch all of the action and let me tell you, they were NOT disappointed. It’s was a blaze alright. And I was a sight for sore eyes. I was standing on my driveway in my pastel-striped long johns, house shoes and baby blue terrycloth robe. Yes, the redneck inside came on out that night. Sho did. Sho nuff did. If you live near me and would like to take the family on a field trip, might I suggest you use this sight as an example of what NOT to do. Just sayin’. If you want to know where it is, it’s RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO MY HOUSE! (Did I mention that yet?) However, the traffic has increased on our street quite a bit in the last several weeks so if you would be so kind to have small bills handy when you come take a gander, Chris and I would appreciate it. All proceeds will go to a local charity. (What?) We are considering giving tours of the burned house, but we are going to wait till the embers quit smoldering. Yes, we care about you that much. The Fire Marshall for the state came by the next day. He wanted to hear my story about the event and shake my hand because of my bravery of fighting off the fires while I was going through the house to get people. What? Oh, right, no one lived there. That’s right. And I was nowhere near the fire. Right again. My bad. Here are some pictures that the hubby took from our driveway. Cuh-ray-cee. Y’all have a good day now!