On the heels of my post two days ago on Expected Trust, I thought I’d share something with you that a dear friend wrote to me.You see, she’s the betrayer. She broke her husband’s heart. She broke her marriage vows.Yet she is hurting something awful. She writes:
I guess what I’d love to shout from the mountaintop(but that would be my flesh!) is that the betrayed is not the only one hurting…….and often, especially in the beginning, that’s how it appears. Until very recently it was not uncommon for him to remind me over and over again of the affair and it’s damage to him/us/our family….i wasn’t looking for him to “get over it,” just live in the same house with me and not verbally mutilate me…..and treat me with some respect as i begged him(literally) to stay/love/give it a chance.
Her comment made me think. Really think.Can you imagine doing something that literally turned someone’s world upside down? To know that the pain in their eyes and the chaos in their heart was caused by your action? To know that if you’d made a different choice, they would still be skipping along their merry way in life?
This particular woman confessed her sin, asked for forgiveness and has done everything she knows to do in order to mend her broken marriage. She regrets her choice, can’t believe she “would ever do such a thing” and wishes she could turn back time.But she can’t.So, she has to deal with the consequences of her actions and how they’ve affected those she loves. She’d die a hundred deaths if she could remove the hurt she sees in her husband’s eyes. All of that to say: We all make mistakes. Some mistakes have far greater consequences than others. Her mistake is clearly in the devastating category. But when someone is humble and broken about their mistake and desires to make amends by working like crazy to prove it, show them grace. They don’t really deserve it, but the last time I checked, neither did we.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8