Teenagers Are People, Too

For the first nine years of our marriage, Chris and I ministered to teenagers.  Some of you are wondering why in the world we’d do that.  Others of you know exactly why. We absolutely adored our years as youth pastors.  As a young married couple, we were able to pour into their young lives.  But, we also learned plenty of lessons ourselves.  Even though our sons are not in their teenage years, we feel that we can still share some insight about those blessed years. One of the things I personally learned is that most teenagers just want to be validated.  I can’t tell you the number of girls that I talked with who were in love.  Now, I know that at 14 and 15 years old they weren’t really in love, but they didn’t.  They really thought they were.  Why?  Because they were feeling something.  So, I would listen to them talk, which ended up earning me the right to share truth with them later.  Had I just given them the oh, you don’t know what love is speech, I would have certainly lost my opportunity to help them through that season in their life. From a parent who has yet to hit the teenage years with her own children, I encourage all of you parents to remember that you were once a teenager and you once wanted to be heard.  One of my goals as the mother of my boys is to make sure I listen to them when they share their hearts with me. Because I love their hearts.

4 thoughts on “Teenagers Are People, Too”

  1. So agree with this. It is important to not dismiss teens. I love both my teens and they do bonehead things. Things that irritate me at times. But they talk to me about stuff that most teens don’t talk to their mom about.

    I also believe that their are times were I can’t be their “Friend”. Were I need to be there “Parent”. When those times come I am so thankful for the Youth Ministers, Teachers, Mentors, other adults that can pick up the friend role and speak into them.

  2. AMEN!

    seriously…youre absolutely right. i know for my daughter, there is nothing more devaluing to her as when her dad or i dont validate her feelings. what she feels is real…right or wrong, its real…to her. when she knows we believe that, then she can receive from us our words and convictions.

    wow. “devaluing” is a word? hmmm.

  3. I thank God that he uses us to mentor and love these children. When you show Love and that you care about them they will come to you with some very serious questions, even the younger children. I’m a member of a very small church, but I love the way that you can interact with all the children, you know their names and they know that they are LOVED. I’ve learned that children are looking for love in all the wrong places,most of the time end up being adults looking for love and vialdation! That was me!! I do let them know that I was a teenager thirty some years ago. Some months Lord told me to go and talk to a teenage girl, I was somewhat hesitant because I didn’t know what I was going to say, and I didn’ know if her mother would permit me to talk to her daughter. It turned out wonderful and I just talked to her about being herself, staying focused on God and trusting in him. Giving him acess to every area of her life, something a lot of adults don’t do we have to Surrender all!! We also let the kids know that they’re loved and they’re example to other children! To Love God, and Love everyone! You’re Right on point. Our God Is An AWESOME GOD. Thank you Cindy for keeping it real!

  4. I get so caught up in wanting to fix or direct—I forget they just wanna be heard. That helps me with my FUSE kids and my own teen and preteen!

    Thanks for the important reminder!

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