Mentoring

Push Through The Pain

Some of you need a good, long cry right about now.  And you know who you are. Some of you are stuffers.  At the first sign that a salty tear might make it’s way down your cheek, you start to get uncomfortable.  You don’t like the out-of-control feeling you are experiencing so you stuff.  You run.  You ignore.  You change the subject and probably give yourself the crying is ridiculous and it won’t help anything speech. Don’t you? If I’ve learned anything in my 38+ years on this earth it’s this. You have to push through the pain. You cannot sit idly by and expect the grieving to occur without dealing with your pain.  And your pain doesn’t have to be just from the physical death of someone you loved.  It’s the loss of anything…a dream, a goal, a career, a relationship, an expectation. You can’t go around it, above it, or beside it if you expect to heal.  You must hit those emotions head on and cry, yell, stomp it out.  Then, when the pain eventually subsides, you ask God, “What is it that you want me to learn from this?  What can I do to use this for your glory?” I’ve been to more funerals in my life than I really care to remember.  I don’t necessarily enjoy them but I go.  Being the feeler that I am, I always cry even if I hardly know the person.  It’s just how I’m wired. But I also cry in the grocery store.  Or at church.  Or  wherever I happen to be when I feel sadness. I have given myself license to grieve when I experience loss. Have you?

19 thoughts on “Push Through The Pain”

  1. I am a feeler too. BUT.. as a young child my mom who was a stoic politician would punish me for crying she’d say “girls don’t cry, if you start to cry then it shows weaknesses and failures” so I didn’t.

    As I got older out of the house I never cried I never gave myself the permission too.

    I am learning one tear at a time, the longer I stuff the more it eats at me.

    Now, when I am at the presence of God praying for people, I weep but I am still in control if you know what I mean.

  2. I am a feeler and I’m comfortable with it! Everyone I love knows that’s how I’m wired…and they’ve learned to love the way I am. My Mom…who used to cry at the drop of a hat…became uncomfortable with crying so she got on an anti-depressant…and now hardly ever cries. It’s very sad to see her become unemotional. When my Dad died…she hardly cried at all and still to this day, 4 years later, she really hasn’t shed too many tears. Knowing that she naturally is an emotional person…it’s hard to watch the person she has become. Society isn’t comfortable with people who cry…so we’ve learned to stuff and drug so we can fit in…sad!! Jesus wept…so can we!!

  3. I’m a crier and wow have I had opportunity to cry over about the past 8 months. One of the places I have cried the most is in church during worship in song. God has blessed me so much through my painful times with songs that touch my heart. When this happens when we have my stepdaughters with us, my 13-year old MAJOR tomboy stepdaughter gently reaches her hand over and rubs my back…it blesses me beyond words as I cry. There have been many other times I have cried over the past painful 8 months – but this weekend? I cried because God is performing my miracle right in front of me! God is good and in my life – so is crying.

  4. The older I get…the more I cry…but now I cry more happy tears than sad. The beauty of a grandchild’s smile, the hug of one of my big teen guys, my husband’s endearing look…yeah, they all get to me 🙂

    I agree…let it out!

  5. *Hand in the air* Oh girl, I cry so often God must have my tears stored in a sparkling lake somewhere in heaven, since I’m absolutely certain no bottle is large enough. 😉

    At least no one has to wonder how we REALLY feel.

    Blessings.

  6. Yay for cryers! I cry at sweet commercials, movies, when I’m happy and even when I’m really angry 🙂 And I’ve had people tell me that I was weak for doing so…and for a while I listened to them. But then I realized that I was denying who God made me to be. So now I embrace my “inner cryer” and am cool with it.

  7. it took one experience years ago when i lost one of best friends to cancer… the lack of grieving on my part nearly wrecked my entire life.

    now i cry when i can!! i have a pastor who always thanks me when i cry. he says “if god catches your tears in a bottle, shouldn’t i be honored you shed them in front of me?”

  8. I too am a tear shedder. Both happy and sad things. Real life and movies. I am a sap! I can feel someone’s pain when I look at them and that will get me started too.

    I read that 90% or your tear content is fat. So cry away!!

  9. Oh my gosh…I cried just reading this post! LOL I’ve cried more tears in the last six months than in all my life I think. (And there are yet more to spill…) Thanks for the post!

  10. I’m a huge cryer right along with you, girls. I have had plenty of people wonder why I get emotional over random things but I tell them when God touches your heart, you darn well better respond to it. Theresa, I couldn’t be more thrilled that my tears are 90% fat! I’ve cried plenty over the last five months and thought most of the tears had come to an end. Not now. I am going upstairs to bawl my eyes out and maybe I’ll be five pounds lighter by dinner!

  11. I’m a crier. Totally. Hmm…I can see this as a launch for a post for me too. : )

    I cry maybe too much. I’ve always felt my emotions close to the skin. Always.

    Hi friend.

  12. still learning to grieve myself!! I am working through grieving a loss of an expectation. The reality of my life is not what I had planned 10 years ago (not that I really planned where I wanted to be in 10 years), and although so many would be thriving in my situation, I just seem to be drowning.

    Working on reorienting myself to the fact that I am right where God wants me to be… gotta stop living in the flesh and start walking in the Spirit!!!

  13. I was out of it the last couple weeks as our fam has taken turns being sick. I even got pnemonea (sp?). I am on the mend, and feeling a lot better. Crying helped me get through it. It stunk! What a great release. Thanks for reminding us of that.

    Blessings,
    Roxx

  14. I’m a feeler and a stuffer. I used to cry a lot. My parents used to say I needed a good reason to cry and apparently I never had one. It kind of stuck with me. As I get older though I wonder if I cry much less because I’m used to stuffing or because I have less empathy and compassion. Whatever the reason, I am a little greatful for it cuz I’m am some ugly when I cry. 🙂

  15. I find it ironic that I am such a feeler, but I hate to cry. And I usually do push all that crap right back down if I can. And then every 6 months or so it happens…those flood gates open. I don’t like that either, but I do realize it is necessary.

  16. i can’t seem to stop crying. i’m trying to embrace my own oft-given advice to face and feel. but there are definitely times it just gets too much and i try to slam on the brakes. and then i can feel myself derailing in the process. actually i feel myself derailing both ways. so… hmph.

    in the meantime, pass the kleenex!

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