Motherhood

Parenting Advice

This was the scene Wednesday morning.

boys-first-day-2008.jpg

New school clothes and shoes? Check Backpack and supplies? Check Emotional mother? Check For, you understand, my baby went to PreK that day. Noah, on the other hand, gave me a half hug and headed for the gym with the rest of the 4th graders. He didn’t even look back and in fact, got rather embarrassed when I came to his classroom. Pa-shaw. Doesn’t he remember how cool I am? So, my beloved blog readers, I’d like to get some advice from you. If you are a parent, surely you have something to share with me as you see things from your world. If you have no children of your own, maybe you have insight to share from a child’s point of view. What do you think I need to hear right here…right now? Now would be the time to chime in, Mother.  And all you other empty nesters.

29 thoughts on “Parenting Advice”

  1. I don’t know if it will help but as a mother to a new Kindergartner, I’m longing for the day I don’t have to leave her in tears. Right now, I would cherish some independence!

  2. He probably doesn’t remember how cool you are. My Kindergartener asked me to stop showing him my Kung Fu moves a few months ago. Talk about heartbreaking!

    I think big boys need their space more than girls. Maybe instead of a hug at the door, try a high five……from the car, of course. All that “Wild At Heart” stuff. Must be true.

    And, remember you ARE cool. Hall and Oates and all.

  3. Ugh. It is hard. Had my own tough day on Wednesday. As for empty nest…when my small fries got big enough to go to school all day, we just started making more people to keep me busy…
    It is fun to see them growing up but it certainly is hard at the same time.

  4. Those days seem so long ago! My emotions were a little tender on Wednesday because the three younger children were all now in high school. Our daughter was so nervous about being a freshman and was scared. At first she wanted her Daddy to walk her into the school but we both told her ‘no’ that this was something she had to do on her own. Painful I tell you, painful! I was on pins and needles all morning. I was thrilled beyond words when she texted me at lunch and said, “High school is AMAZING!!!!!” I breathed a sigh of relief and went on about my day.

    I did not walk my children to their classrooms after first grade because they wanted to do it themselves. The boys also really wanted to ride the bus so this is what we did. The first day of school I would wait near the bus stop in front of our house but truly the boys did not want Mommy hovering. Boys love their Mamas but we can cause immense embarrassement at the drop of a hat.

    My boys have turned out to be awesome, strong young adult men who still come and give their Mama a tender hug and kiss before bed each night and the 16 year old in fact is not at all ashamed of telling me he loves me and calling me Mommy in front of his football teammates….he NEVER would have done that in 4th grade.

    By the way our son who is a junior in high school told us this morning that we would be so proud of our daughter. He saw her go up to a girl sitting by herself yesterday and extend her hand and say, “Hi I am Hannah what’s your name?”

    You keep raising those sweet boys the way your are and you are going to be sharing awesome stories for years to come!!! You are doing a great job!

  5. Oh my word, I could write a book! My firstborn started kindergarten on Monday- for the THIRD time. It’s a long story. But a funny one! It’s on my blog, so I won’t repeat it here. Just know that we mommies are all in the same boat, girlfriend!

  6. Now you go from ‘doing’ FOR them, to ‘being’ still before God FOR them.

    You are not with them all day, but He is. No greater glory to God than trusting Him fully with them.

    V.

  7. Missed out on the first day this year. Funny our boys are in 4th and preK as well. Shelly made it through without Cade seeing her cry but as soon as she hit the hallway she lost it.
    Guess we will have to adopt

  8. Oh darn it!!!

    I thought you were going to give me advice.
    My daughter leaves for her senior year in two weeks and I cannot stop crying. What is up with me??

    I have a third grader too and he says “momma, kisses are for babies… and at HOME!!!”

    Cindy sometimes motherhood is just difficult huh?

  9. “the times they are a changin………” My kids growing up is something I have to face even though it rips out my heart strings….My advice! Carpe DIEM…Sieze the day and milk it!

  10. The only advice I have is to cherish each moment! I have put two through kindergarten, one of which has already graduated high school and one that has only one more year before high school. I just sat the other day trying to remember them as babies and it was so hard not to cry!

    I can’t believe I only have 5 more years before I am an empty nester…..it seems my whole life has been about being a mom. Who knows maybe I will meet a great man someday that has younger ones and I will be able to help raise them. 🙂 I would be totally ok with that!

    On another note….could you email me at sonyaterrell@sbcglobal.net, I have a good friend going through the same thing you did with your husband and I am at a lost on how to help her and could use some advice.

  11. I have to say that it doesn’t get any easier as they grow. My four children are adults now and two of my daughters have children of their own. One daughter and family is moving to Mexico to be missionairies. Her sister, newly married, moved to another city and her eight year old is starting a new school, new friends, etc. Each child is an adventure for sure.

    A bit of wisdom my pastor shared several years ago has helped me alot. “As parents we want to isolate our children from the world but as Christians we are to insolate them with the Word of God.”

  12. Whether your moments with your children are happy or sad, whether frustrating or mystifying, enjoy them for what they are. When the first one moves out, and the second one is getting ready to move out, you’ll wonder – what’s next. I’ve already started pining away for a grandchild. Even though once in a while I fantasize about how clean my house will be when I’m the only one in it, somehow, my balloon gets popped when I realize that all I might notice is the echo of my heart-wrenching tears in the hallways staining the carpet. Okay, so maybe it’s not THAT bad.

  13. When you find the answer could you please pass it on? My son (4th grader) asked me yesterday (1st day of school) why I thought I needed to walk him to class? I heartbroken answered well I don’t have to if you would prefer to go in alone. He did! I don’t how we got to this place, last year I could not even take him to school or there were crocadile tears begging, pleading (from him of course) for me not to leave him (all year long) and now just one year later there is no need for me to walk him in at all? Don’t get me wrong I didn’t want the tears, begging or pleading but but but My baby boy CAN NOT be growing up, I mean he is my baby………

  14. Oh the first day is soooo hard! I always get so emotional on the first day. While I enjoy the peace & quiet a *little bit*, I miss my babies terribly!

    By the way, I love your blog! Thank you for sharing your story. It is amazing to read how the Lord has worked in you life!

  15. AAAWWW! Mama Cindy…one day Noah will know you’re cool again, and he’ll NEED his mama still everyday to love and support & encourage him as he grows into the wonderful young man y’all have led him to be. (all of which you’re very good at 😉 ) And sweet little Seth…he still thinks you’re cool, but more importantly, you’re his safety, his caregiver, his lovely mama!

  16. You are cool. No matter what they think.

    They’ll have sons or daughters someday that will think they are uncool.

    (say this back to me in 3 years when Hope is embarassed of me, ‘kay?)

  17. I remember that day all too well. But it is only for a season. They come back. My son, now 12, went through that too. But now he remembers how cool his mom is and yours will too!

  18. On Friday, Reia told me I didn’t need to pick her up at her class and to please let her walk to my classroom on her own.

    I thought, “While all the big 4th and 5th graders are scattering around trying to get out of the building? What if you get trampled or lost?”

    Needless to say, she’ll get to walk by herself to and from class on Monday. This is the kind of stuff that makes mommas want more babies.

    And PS, I think you are WAY cool.

  19. Ohhhh..

    I’m sorry. Let me just say that I literally had tears fill my eyes the other day thinking about my little 3 year old starting school NEXT year.

    I think it’s wonderful that you are invested and attached to your kids.

    It breaks my heart when I hear moms say that they can’t wait for their kids to be old enough for school.

    So, good for you. Being a mom is vulnerable and an incredible privledge.

  20. I feel so cynical because I am totally embracing the start of this school year. Due to career change and my youngest going to first grade I will have school days to myself.

    I am sad that a certain portion of my life is done I am looking forward to what God has planned for this next phase. My heart is open and I am listening.

  21. Well, I am really putting myself out here commenting on a blog where the comments are dominated by women and mothers and about mothers with kids leaving, but I thought I would anyway! Why not right? Well, as a son that left home and did the whole “I’m independent” thing as well as watching my brother do it after me, I kinda like to think I have seen both sides of it. Obviously I haven’t felt the pain and emotions like my mother did, but I has seen it happen.

    I think that we all know (whether deep down or a little closer to the surface) that the boys are made to want to be independent. My parents raised me that way. They didn’t want me mooching off them for too long. But, as we men grow up (whether 4th grade or college or career) we still love our mothers. Period. Make sure you know that. We don’t always know how to show that, but we do. Whether it should or not, as we grow up, what others think of us is big to us. That’s probably why junior high is difficult.

    Remember, we still love our mothers! I think moms just have to find different ways to love on us. While yesterday we may have been very huggy and lovey, today we want a high five or to talk about the baseball game.

    All in all, the main thing is that we still love our mothers. The main thing is that we have to learn how to show that back to you as well. We just wanna be cool too!

    Remember, WE STILL LOVE OUR MOTHERS!

  22. I’m having a very hard time myself! My oldest starts middle school Monday and my baby starts Kindergarten. My son will be in 2nd grade. I’m having a very hard time with the middle school thing and the fact that my baby is at school full time now. That is the end of the baby stage in my house!

  23. My baby is still a little bean! So luckily I haven’t had to deal with that yet.. but I am dreading the day when I do! I miss him so much during the hour and a half that he is in the church nursery! How will I survive all day everyday without my best buddy!
    So no advice here… just understanding. Your kids are so adorable, and hey, maybe it will help to think they miss you just as much as you miss them! im sure they do…especially since you are SO cool! 😉

  24. I’ve been tearing up about my kids going to college since before I birthed them.

    Aren’t you blessed that you have such a sweet relationship with them that it is hard for you to adjust to them being gone. Could be the opposite!

  25. Had “the last supper” last night with our grandsons, 10 & 12. They have a tradition of each choosing their favorite entree for the evening meal before the first day of school– this year meat loaf and chicken fried steak with some very interesting sides. Papa and I got to join in. Mom (feeling sad that she couldn’t see her baby off to his first day in middle school) teaches at ACC and had a class this morning at 7:45, so Dad (our son who is now supt. of Leander ISD…and not so many years ago I tearfully left at kindergarten in San Saba) was making chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast this morning before seeing the boys off on the bus. And so the cycle continues. We raise our children up to have wings so they can fly away from us. This son who joyfully flew away to the University of Houston thinking those wings would take him to far away places, now lives 30 minutes away from us and we get to share “close up” as our grandsons continue in the amazing circle of life. The good Lord will continue to bless you with abundant joys and tears as you and Chris raise these boys…and if you’re really lucky, after flying far away, at least one of them may come back close to home (even if it’s still in OK!)

  26. As a young mother, I LOVED the dependant stage of life. You know…my kids NEEDED ME!
    As they got older (which comes earlier and earlier these days) I learned to adapt to their independent stage and choose my battles. This was the stage that was very difficult to watch…to allow them to make poor or bad choices, keep loving them UNCONDITIONALLY and continue to point them in the right direction.
    Now I am enjoying them more than ever as I see fully developed interdependent adults and watching them as they raise my precious grandbabies.

    By the way…these boys are just too handsome and it is hard to believe they are this “grown up”! LOVE YOU!

  27. I just dropped my daughter off to first day of Kindergarten on Tuesday and then off to work where there they discovered i was having a panic attack and axiety was taking over. Trip to ER put things in place. It has not gotten easier but I have been praying and taking that “help me Lord” pill and going to follow up with my doctor Friday but I know My Physician Jesus is in control. So emotions is getting checked – thanks for this blog as it is quite helpful.

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