Mentoring

No Pain, No Gain

She was 35 years old when she became a widow.  The daunting task of raising four children under the age of eight was hard enough, but now she’d face it alone.  And while she grieved her loss and definitely had days where she didn’t want to go on, she did not stay there.  She took that pain that God allowed to enter her path and turned it around for the glory of God. And many have been blessed. Doing a monthly breast exam, she found a lump that she’d never felt before.  It couldn’t be, this 26-year old woman thought to herself.  But after further tests, her suspicions were proven.  But a double mastectomy and months of emotional and physical pain brought her freedom from cancer.  Instead of letting that loss make bitterness well up inside, she’s chosen the path that few will choose and is walking through life with others who have found themselves on a similar journey. And many have been blessed. A homeschooling mom of four found out that her husband had chosen to have a life with someone else.  She made attempts for a while to stay in the marriage and make it work.  His continued rendezvous’ eventually ended their marriage.  Now she is remarried to an amazing man and is living the life she hoped she would.  She and her children give God glory for restoring their lives. And many have been blessed. Most of us have gone through something in our lives that made us want to throw in the towel.  There was something we barely made it through that brought us to a place of despair. We may have even wished that we’d go to sleep one night and wake up in the presence of Jesus. Cuz going through hard stuff is hard.  It just is.  There is nothing pleasant about walking through a valley that is dark, lonely and appearing to be never ending.  And while it’s excruciating to suffer, the results of the pain can be beautiful.  I’m a firm believer that we all want growth to occur in our lives.  We just don’t always want to go through the pain to get there. No pain, no gain, y’all. So, I have just one question to ask you…  What are you doing with your pain?

27 thoughts on “No Pain, No Gain”

  1. HOLDING IT! I WANT SO BADLY TO DISPOSE OF IT BUT AS THE DAYS GO BY I SEEM TO HOLD ON TO IT MORE. ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCRIPTURES ARE..2CORINTHIANS 4:8-10. KNOWING THAT ALTHOUGH PAUL WAS TROUBLE ON ALL SIDES HE WAS NOT IN DESPAIR, THAT’S THE KIND OF FAITH I WANT. I PRAY EVERDAY THAT MY FAMILY WILL GET BACK TOGETHER (MY DAUGHTER AND i) BUT AS THE DAYS GO ON WE ARE STILL NOT SPEAKING, LORD HELP ME LET GO OF THE PAIN OF HER WORDS AND MY ACTIONS THAT PREVENT ME FROM LETTING THE PAINS GO AWAY AND TRUST THAT YOU WILL GIVE ME THE WISDOM TO WORK THROUGH THE PAIN AND THE PROBLEMS….IN JESUS NAME AMEN

  2. While I know some have walked and are walking through more difficult times than I have or am, I still wish I could take every single one, hold their face so gently, and tell them, that everything IS going to be okay. I remember when my first husband left me when I was pregnant I listened to a song with these words, “I will walk through the valley if You want me, too.” I kept walking. And, I walked in forgiveness. And, God has turned my pain truly into something beautiful. I am married to a man who loves me and my son like his own, and now we have one fun, four-year old fashionista. God is good. He is good. He is good.

  3. My husband and I poured our pain into our Lifegroup, and through them and God, we all got through it, and it has made our Lifegroup stronger. It has also allowed us to grow so much that our Lifegroup has spawned into 6 other groups, all as strong as the original, so that they all can help others grow as we have. We thank God every day for our pain and what has come of it.

  4. What am I doing with my pain? Crying, screaming all day long and asking myself if GOD hear and see me. When this can be end LORD?

  5. Cindy I honestlly don’t know what I am doing with the pain. I am not even sure if I am in much pain at the momment.

    Is it possible that you experience enough pain that you are just numb to it or it becomes your normal?

    I think that I am a pretty happy, laid back, person most of the time. When I get upset, sad, angry I pray and seek answers from God and Mentors.

  6. Great post Cindy.

    Pain is like fear…elusive, powerful and usually the root and reason for a lot of decisions.

    Sometimes its hard to peel away all the layers on top to get down to the pain (or fear).

    I do bury it sometimes. I know i do. but more than ever lately, i’ve tried to bring it to the surface right away. that helps.

  7. I am not sure what I’m doing with my pain. I am TRYING to place it in God’s hands, knowing that He can handle it much better than me. Am I successful with that? Not always – and it doesn’t seem like I’m very successful with it today. I pray for God to show me how one day He will use my pain to help others. If I can be of use to anyone in the future that will go through what I am now – I pray that God will sustain me. My words seem jumbled…and my thoughts unclear. I’m thankful that God sees my heart…and loves me…

  8. Why do we put off on God what the devil did? God does not make people sick, kill people and bring destruction. He is a good Father who loves us and only wants good for us. The bible say that the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy, but He came to give life and that more abundently (John 10:10) I am tired of people making God out to be a killer, murderer and disease maker. Who would ever want to serve a mean, vengful, ugly god like that? Not me. God is all love, all power and all healing. If you dont believe me ask Him for yourself!

  9. Thanks Cindy. It really can be simple. Thru the pain, He is good.
    Life is amazing…and the pain…well that makes the “good” that much better.

  10. Waiting in anticipation to see what God is going to do with it. He has not held my hand and walked me through the “valley of the shadow of death” for nothing. I can feel Him weaving and am standing by with my pain waiting to bless. He is so good.

  11. I’m trying to face my pain but it’s so hard so I find myself running from it. I’ve been dealing with a lot of pain but I know that God has something GREAT instore for me as to why I am going through….One thing a very good friend of mine told me is that “the greater your pain…the greater the anointing”. So I’m trying not to run from it anymore but embrace it and use it for the Glory of God….to help out someone else that maybe going through the same things that I have been through…to show them that I’m still standing that my pain didn’t tear me down but built me up to be this GREAT WOMAN OF GOD that stands before you!

  12. I use it for His glory now and to give a smack down to the devil. The Word says that the enemy is silenced by the word of our testimony and the blood of Jesus. There is no greater weapon. Use your pain, your testimony to defeat him and raise Him up!

    However, being in the middle of the pain, that’s not as easy to see. So, in those times we cling to the same verse… the enemy is SILENCED by the word of our testimony and the blood of Jesus!

  13. Let’s see…what do I do with my pain?!

    I used to stuff it…but the past couple of years things have changed…I feel it inward and I am a deep feeler by nature…or I should say God and I feel it together…we cry, we talk, we write…then I process it outward…usually by talking about it with others…then I am done…life goes on…it used to take longer at the beginning. But with practice years turned into months, months into weeks and weeks into 24 hours…I have the process down, buckle up, go through it… and move on…I learned to stop asking why. Now I ask what’s next. In time I KNOW I will thank God for not giving me whatever generated the pain because I KNOW God will always be faithful to me, ALWAYS!

    That’s my process:)

  14. I happen to stumble upon this web site and I read what Cindy had wrote and it brought back to my mind all the choices that I have made since I was 15 years old. At the age of 15 I met my first husband, he was returning from a 13 month tour in Vietnam and I fell head over heels in love with him on the spot. I became pregnant with the first of our 3 children at the age of 17 we were married and it was anything but wedded bliss. Six years later I divorce him and proceed to begin to raise the children on my own, 3 months after our divorce was final he was electrocuted accidentally, so now I am now a divorced widow.

    I met my second husband and dated him for a period of time and then moved in together with out benefit of marriage, not that he didn’t want to marry me, but I was so stung by my first marriage I was afraid to commit to this man who loved me and was willing to raise 3 children that are not biologically his. I failed to mention that this man is a musician, which means weekends in the bars, drinking and drugging and all the ugly things of the first marriage are carried into this relationship. We struggled but hung on and just when we had both come to know the Lord he died in his sleep in the sleeper berth of his truck. He had given up music and settled down, we had both cleaned up our act and poured our efforts into trying to make better lives for the kids.

    Do I have pain? Oh yes,, I lost my soul mate. But, I have been in the Lord now for 10 years and can say that I have found fellowship with people who are like me (Christians). I have become active in the Church and am on the Church council and participate in many activities, including, teaching Bible Study at the Church. My husband has been home with the Lord now for 7 years, my children are all grown and married with families of their own. I live alone with my 3 big dogs lol,,and I love my life, for the Lord has given me peace that surpasses all understanding.

    So all I can say is hang in there, it gets better, stay strong in the Lord, He never gives us more than we can handle. God Bless everyone

  15. enduring. contemplating. praying, a lot. not that there is a lot pain at this time – but a lot of questions and change.

    ive wanted to throw in the towel once. only once. and i came close. but He restored things that i couldnt on my own and has made them better. its amazing what happened when i loosened my grip.

  16. 2 Corinthians 4:17 “Our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all”……I believe it’s about eternity. It helps to be eternally minded. This is not our home. The end of the story is GOOD!

  17. This spring we are having a special small group study for young women appropriately named “Reclaimed” it will address overcoming past choices. No we aren’t victims but we made some very poor choices. Those things aren’t going to define us.

  18. No pain, no gain is so true.

    I believe pain forces us to deal with life issues and gives us the gift of change. I was almost swallowed alive with bitterness enough to know that I would not survive there.

    My pain broke me, but I found out that God can now use me better.

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