Mentoring

My Best Friend…

Doesn’t exist. Now, hold yer horses.  My husband, the love of my life, is the most cherished person in my life.  He knows more about me than anyone.  He’s the first person I tell things to when I have news to tell.  I would prefer his company over anyone else’s. He is my favorite. What I’m referring to is the whole “a girl’s gotta have a best friend” kind of mentality just so she can say “my best friend and I did…“.  I must preface what I am about to say with this:  There is nothing wrong with having a best friend.  Especially if they’ll fork a house with you For the dudes reading this, you may not understand this whole concept.  But I can sho nuff gah-rone-tee that every woman is nodding her head and saying, “That’ll preach.”  Ladies? This defined me for years.  YEARS.  I would be on top of the world if I had a best friend.  Someone who had my back and I had hers.  Someone who’d talk on the phone to me when there was nothing really to talk about.  Someone who would wear the “Be Fri” part of the heart while I wore the “St Ends”. Oh, it’s in us. As I’ve gotten older and have lived in three different states in the last 11 years, I’ve come to realize that I may not ever find that “best friend” again.  But what I have found are many women who’ve played different roles in my life.  Like… This one gal who believes in me more than anyone except my momma and my husband.  She is the real deal and adores every single hair on my head.   Or this other gal who makes me laugh more than any other, especially when we are doing old SNL skits with Cheri Oteri.  Good times. Then I can’t forget this friend who treats my kids like her own and never makes me feel like they are a burden when they are with her. Of course there is my precious angel of a friend who knows more about me than any other friend and would never dare to risk my heart. Lastly is another friend of mine who is as near to my heart as possible.  We rarely see each other but when we do?  Just like bread and butter baby…we go together. I have friends who are younger than me and those who are older than me.  I have friends who were born in different countries and those who were born in my native state.  I have friends who push me deeper spiritually and those who need the extra push themselves.  I have friends who are a little on the pessimistic side and those who live in a dreamworld where everything is dandy, just dandy. Bottom line?  I have friends. How awesome is that?

19 thoughts on “My Best Friend…”

  1. i’ve spent nine years feeling for the most part friendless. i kept in touch with two women i met my senior year of high school, who were wonderful wonderful friends. but an ocean was in the way of having any kind of true “bff” aspect of a friendship.

    fast forward to two or three years ago — we were able to get more reliable internet and i was suddenly able to be more in touch with my “kitty”. we were more aware of each other’s daily lives, and that made a huge difference… now i can honestly say i have a best friend again, and best-feeling-of-all, AM someone’s best friend again.

    and i’ve made more friends in the past year and a half than in the rest of my entire adult life combined. (no lie.) i count you as one of them, and i wouldn’t trade that friendship for anything!

  2. Having been in a place in life where I didn’t have a best friend and no one to really connect with… I can say that not having a best friend (or many great friends) is a terrible place to be. Ugh.

    Friends who support and laugh with you are such a blessing!

    ~Luke

  3. Cindy, I am loving this post! I’m right in this stage of my life, and while it’s trying at times, I’m finding so much value in it too, as I’m finally able to be in some of the mentoring relationships I’ve longed for and talked up for years.

    Due to some mental illness (hers, not mine), deception, and trust issues with my college best friend, the friendship ended right before college graduation. In God’s perfect timing, I met this guy and his whole group of friends within the first two weeks after graduation, and they, along with a reunited casual friend from the high school years, became my best friends!

    Almost three years later, I’m engaged to “this guy”, who is my best friend, and have three super close girlfriends, and a bunch of amazing other ones, from the married with kids one, the young married, the college-aged single and loving it one…all so great!! One problem though–without having sisters, I can’t pick which one is going to be my maid of honor! 🙂

  4. Love this! However, I call many people my “best friend” but I say “ONE OF my best friends…” because I am lucky enough to have the BEST friends. I am not a huge fan of having only ONE best friend…. that limits your world so much.

    In highschool (the dreaded “best of the best friends” years) I would frequently have upset friends b/c I had OTHER close friends…. as if you can’t have more than one. I found that a hard boundary to live within. Now that I am much older I know that I can have many great and best friends… and each brings something to our friendship that another might not.

    I like to think of it and God giving me bits of himself through many different people, friends. He places them all in my life for a specific reason and I love that.

    One friend is talk to every.single.day. and we have all the “mom stuff” in common. Many kids. We both stay home. Our trials are very similar in that regard.

    Another friend is one I walked with as she chose Christ in her life….that was AMAZING to say the least. My heart connection with her is like no other friendship.

    Then there is my oldest friend from 8th grade. Oh the memories we like to share over and over again. Always brings a great laugh.

    Those are just a few but they are the ones that always stand out to me b/c each one is COMPLETELY different, but I love them all.

    Gosh I love girlfriends!

  5. I have friends that I have been close to for 30+ years and I have friends that I feel close to that have been in my life for less then a year.

    Some are older, some are younger.
    Some are rich, some are poor.
    Some are married, some are single.
    Some that are close, most that are far.

    I love them all!! I plan on making at least one new one in a few weeks…Look Out Dusty!! LOL

    Then I have a few that are like sisters. Totally different catagory. 🙂

    Love Ya’

  6. I have a group of girls 6 including me we all went to highschool together however some of has know each other since we were like 12yrs.old. anyway I could never single one out as my Best Friend thay are actully all my Best Friend we actully refer to each other as Sisters we have been thru a lot together weddings, births of our children, second marriage loss of a parent…we truly love each other like sistes & we have occasional fights like sisters. some of us talk every day or we could not for a month or so however we pick up like it was yesterday. I truly am blessed to have My Sisters in my life. I have other girlfriend in my life that ar so dear to my heart! that’s my favorite thing about friendships how you can have so many dynamics & obviously God put them in your life for a reason.

  7. I’m slowly coming into a perspective in my life that I don’t need a thousand friends. I need a group of girlfriends.
    This year, I have been challenging myself to trust them with my whole heart. Being accountable and praying and challenging me.

  8. I consider this stage in my life defined by my friendships. I finally have the rich, honest relationships I wanted in my twenties but was too self-centered to attract.

    I still wish you and I lived closer and raising our boys together… sigh.

  9. Friends don’t let friends drink and drive, but they fork and drive. Just one more thing to make the world go round.

    Friends are a good thing. I have so many and I am very aware of what a gift that is.

  10. My tribe friends still live in Dallas. (Let’s face it, two years here and a lifetime there makes it a hard group to totally leave.) And I am here. I wanted that back so bad I could taste it when we first moved. It’s taken 2 yrs and I am just now coming into my own where friends are concerned.

    God has used the last two years to help me rely on Him more and them less. It will always be nice to have women in my life that I can tell my really weird things to…=) I’ve noticed as I get older, those things get weirder. I won’t share them on your blog.

    You’re welcome.

    Love ya sister!

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