I was watching the news last week and they said that if a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) had a salary it would be $117,000 a year.
$117,000 A YEAR.
And that got me to thinking.
Most people who have “real” jobs out in the world get annual reviews from their superiors. This is usually a once-a-year occurrence that is often followed by an increase in pay and sometimes even a bonus.
Now, let me make things clear. Chris Beall, affectionately referred to on this site as the Hubby, is extremely grateful for the things I do for our family. He tells me regularly how much he appreciates me. So, I do feel the love from him. However, he has never sat me down and given me a real “review”. If he did, I figure it might go a lil somethin’ like this:
Cindy, wow, you have certainly amazed me this year. There is no one like you in the SAHM category. I’d like to process through the strides I’ve seen you make for our family and well, they are wonderful. Let me unpack a few things for you. Some of the ways I felt you went above and beyond are how you made a spreadsheet for all of the cleaning that you want to get done at different times of the year, another spreadsheet for when we need to pack for a trip, and yet another spreadsheet for the grocery store. You’ve really blessed our family with your spreadsheets. I am equally impressed with the way you manage our monthly budget and how you make our money go exceedingly farther by buying generic items at the grocery store. I have enjoyed the new meals you have cooked from watching Paula Deen and Racheal Ray on The Food Network. Paying our monthly cable bill is money well spent, in my opinion. It is also impressive to watch how you can manage the boys’ schedules complete with waking them, bathing them, preparing their meals as well as spending time on one-on-one counseling and providing the necessary discipline when they are not obeying. I also love it when I come home from work and find all of my clean clothes nicely put into my chest of drawers. That’s uh-MAY-zing. I so appreciate how you love me and support me and are always there for me, if you know what I mean, wink, wink. However, while you are one tremendous woman, there are a few areas where I think some improvement could be made. I’d really like to see a little more cleaning around the baseboards so that the dust bunnies don’t end up all over the house because that just annoys me. There have been a few times where we’ve run out of Diet Coke with Lime and that’s just something that sends me over the edge. I’m just sayin’. Finally, if you could make sure you keep the back porch swept regularly, that would be great. Because you have performed so incredibly this year, I’d like to offer you a 7% raise that will take your salary up to $125,190 a year. Obviously, I cannot pay that to you because I don’t even make that myself. However, I would like to continue to provide for you financially so that you don’t have to get a 9-5 job. I will continue to help out with the boys while you take evening walks, clean the windows since you don’t like to do that, and support you when you want to go to Hobby Lobby and Kirkland’s. I would also like to offer you a weekend away with your girlfriends as well as take you on a cruise…just you and me, without the children.
Thank you for your time and for all you do for the Beall family.