As many of you know, I’ve been married for 17 years. SEVENTEEN gloriously, difficult and full of both amazing joy and awful despair kind of years to the man of my dreams, my Knight in Shining Armor. Well, maybe not armor, but at least a nice pair of Buckle jeans. And with these 17 years, comes some experience. I don’t have all of the answers but I can tell you a few pieces of advice. These little morsels are going to be directed toward the menfolk because well, I am a woman and I can only tell you what doesn’t work for women. I imagine my husband can list three dozen things that a wife shouldn’t say or do, but well, this isn’t his blog. And there you go. Advice-giving time: #1 – When giving a compliment to your wife, don’t use the work look or follow the compliment with today or in that dress. For example, “Honey, you look wonderful in that dress” or “Wow, you look pretty today.” Men, what we are hearing is this: “What? I didn’t look good yesterday? And do I have to have this dress on to look pretty?” Your best bet is to simply say, “You are gorgeous!” The verb “are” is key here. It means now and always. And you might even consider saying it when we have a 7-year old pair of red sweats on while we are wearing a hot pink t-shirt. #2 – This is a family show so I will refer to “you know what” as “hanky panky.” Men, when you are in the mood for hanky panky, please don’t think you can start things at 10:25 when you didn’t remember to take the trash to the street or offer to get the kids ready for school or send a sweet text message for no reason, no reason at all and expect a little somethin’, somethin’. And that’s all I’m going to say about that. I think you get the picture. We are crock pots, not microwaves. #3 – If you find yourself at home all day with the kids and your wife walks in the door just prior to supper time, please don’t ask, “What’s for dinner?” You are most assuredly going to get a set of rolled eyes thrown your way and maybe even a few choice words. Another option is to actually see what you can make for her so that after she’s been gone or at work while you have been home. This could lead to a positive response on #2. Just sayin’. Now, these are just hypothetical situations. I am sure none of this stuff ever happens. I, for one, have no idea if it does since I am clearly living the dream with my Knight. I am sorry. I know that these things are absolutely ridiculous. We women don’t deny we are a difficult bunch. But, I promise you that these little nuggets will make a difference in your woman’s world. And when momma’s happy, ain’t everyone happy?