Marriage Advice

Rachel and Carey both wanted to hear some advice on marriage…especially during their early years. Here are some things that we have seen proven in our marriage over the last 15 years.
•NEVER, EVER dishonor one another in public. (i.e., make jokes at the other’s expense, cut each other down, belittle one another) Have sex. Often. (Gentlemen, please send the checks made out to me.) Think of your spouse more than you think of yourself. Figure out how your spouse feels loved. (The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman can help.) Find a common activity to do together. (i.e., camping, gardening, attending concerts, etc.) Don’t let your parents expectations and decisions run your marriage. This is a sure recipe for disaster. (Chris’ parents and my mom have been AWESOME and haven’t tried to run our lives as their grown children. We are blessed!) Stay unified in front of your children. If you disagree about how one or both of you is handling as issue concerning them, discuss it in private. •Don’t be afraid to have conflicts in front of your children. Not a nasty, ugly fight, by any means. If children never see any conflict in your marriage, they might panic and want to call it quits in their own marriages when conflict does arise. Cuz all y’all know there is conflict in marriage. Become best friends if you aren’t already. Don’t throw past offenses back in each other’s faces. If you’ve forgiven him/her, don’t bring it up again. Period. Pray for each other. Eat dinner together without the TV on especially when children enter your lives.
Well, I could go on, you understand, but I’ll step down from my soap box. It’s a really big box.

19 thoughts on “Marriage Advice”

  1. In regards to allowing your children to witness conflict, it is also important that we see the resolve. If Kris and I have ever started an argument in front of our kids, we make sure we resolve it in front of them. It helps them feel secure, and they know that it is important to work your out your issues. GREAT advice!!

  2. Good stuff! Love the “become best friends”…being married for life is a LONG time! Better be with someone you REALLY enjoy being with. 😉

  3. Pray with him…. Pray over him…
    Make memories with him.. long lasting memories..

    Wow a good “talking too” for me Cindy and I’m going on 19 next month, thanks!! 🙂

  4. I love the best friend part. The sex part is easy!!! Laying yourself down for someone else is hard. Whats really neat is when you both love your husband job and you get to do it together and stay home=)

  5. I LOVE these. In my short six years of being married we have already found all these to be true in making our marriage work successfully. Some of them we had to find out the hard way, but none the less, we learned from them.

  6. Thanks so much Cindy, this stuff is awesome. I especially loved the part about having conflict in front of the kids. Personally, I have never seen my parents disagree about anything TO THIS DAY, so when my husband and I had our first big fight when we were dating, I thought it was over. Thanks for the insight (and the shout out!) 🙂

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