Marriage

Life After Porn – Part 5

Better Than New I remember telling my husband many, many weeks after his confession something that he couldn’t believe. We had been walking out our new life the best we knew how. We had embraced our new surroundings and jobs. We had begun to heal. And I told him that if I had the choice to go back to our old life, that I wouldn’t do it. He was pretty surprised to hear me say that. I mean, after all the pain his actions caused me, here I am telling him that I’m thankful that I endured it so that we could have what we have now. Our pastor, Craig, preached to our congregation at the Edmond Campus about Chris’ confession and told them “we are going to believe God that they will be better than new”. He wasn’t kidding. Neither were they. We are so better than new. We are better than we ever imagined. We are better than anybody thought we’d ever be. Chris and I are best friends and our marriage is blessed with an increasing passion for each other. (Ahem) We have had countless opportunities to minister to couples and individuals who are walking through similar challenges. (I expect this to increase as I’ve recently finished writing a book of a more detailed account of our journey.) Chris’ son has become one of the greatest blessings to our family. My relationship with his mother is so extraordinary that many jaws hit the floor when I describe it. Chris’ influence and impact at LifeChurch.tv continues to humble him as he never thought he’d ever participate in ministry again. Most importantly, my heart is full. My cup runneth over. I have a man who adores me and isn’t afraid to show it. And my trust in him is growing daily. There are many things I don’t know in life. I don’t understand algebra. Just don’t get all that abstract math. I don’t get how a heavy airplane can stay up in the sky and not fall to the ground. I know it’s about jets and thrust and stuff like that, but it still doesn’t make sense to me. I wish I knew why innocent people have to suffer. If I did, I’d bottle up the formula to fix their problems and give it away. Don’t know lots of things. But, here’s what I do know. According to the Bible, I serve a big God. He created the Universe in less than a week. He formed mountains and scooped out valleys with His hands. He is everywhere, all the time. He can change a heart with the snap of his fingers. He can bring sight to a blind man with some dirt and saliva. He can part a sea and allow his people to cross on dry land. He can make walls fall down with the blast of a trumpet. He can keep a man from being eaten by lions. He can bring forth a child through a virgin. He can turn a Pharisee into a martyr for Christ. He can transform a fisherman into a minister of the gospel. He brings peace that no one can explain. He is truly a remarkable God. My marriage is living proof. I remember asking God one day how He was going to take this awful situation and use it for His good (Romans 8:28). Tears were streaming down my face and I had no idea how I would survive this. God spoke ever so gently to my heart and here is what He said: God: Remember when you told me that you would go through anything in order to bring glory to my name? Me: Uh-huh, sniff, sniff. God: I’m taking you up on your offer. Trust Him. He is faithful and loving and kind and tender and good and miraculous and amazing. He will carry you when you can walk no more and He will strengthen you when you need to make the journey. He is true to His word and will do what He says he is going to do. I promise because He promises and He does not disappoint.

11 thoughts on “Life After Porn – Part 5”

  1. I know this story and it still brings tears to my eyes. To see the restoration first hand is amazing. To witness the bond that you and Chris share is inspiring. To hear how the church didn’t kick you to the curb is refreshing. THANK YOU for sharing this, Cindy!

  2. I have heard Chris tell your story in small bits at church several times and I have read it here and it gets me everytime. God is so faithful and I love serving Him. Thank you for being bold enough to be obedient and put it out there for everyone to hear.

  3. Hey sweet friend… Sorry I have been MIA. Sick kids, crazy week, and a self-imposed computer fast (that was hard).

    Sanity has returned…

    Thank you for sharing this story again. I think I am getting to the point where I would go through anything to bring glory to his name too. Almost.

    Love you friend.

  4. what a powerful story of God bringing beauty from ashes. We too, have a story of his grace. You are right when you say that often people who fall while “in the ministry”get put out to the curb. I bet I would love your church. Isn’t that what God is about? Healing the broken hearted, binding up wounds, setting the captives free?! Thank you for your honesty!

  5. Love reading this story again. You two are such a beautiful picture of Christ’s redemption!! Praise Jesus. Love you so much sweet friend!!

  6. cindy – im speechless. not out of shock – but out of a total overwhelming “awe” emotion of how great and gracious and loving God is. He definitely took you up on the offer. and look now at the amazing testimony and ministry you have. i am honored to “know” you. thank you!

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