Let Me Tell You About My Tuesday

Two days ago my morning started as usual. I began rushing around doing what I do to get the kids off to school only to find that my four-year old, Seth, had a fever of 102. Good thing for me, I work from home. My day wouldn’t change too much except for a few extra cuddles. Sick babies always cuddle more. I so look forward to Tuesday mornings because I get to spend a couple of hours with some fabulous ladies. We meet at my home, eat a little, gab a lot and study us a little Philippians. While my baby slept peacefully in my bed, one of the topics we discussed was clearly the theme of the book: Joy. We shared our worst fear and if we thought we could have joy should that fear come to pass. I shared that my worst fear would be to lose one of my boys. Many agreed and said they shared a similar fear. After our time together came to an end, I took Seth to see the doctor. I didn’t expect it to be anything since the little champ told me that nothing else hurt. Sure enough, it was as I assumed. Viral. And you know what that means. Wait, rest and medicate to keep the fever down. Literally three seconds after the doctor finished examining him, Seth threw his arms back and went into a seizure. “Something’s happening! Something’s happening!” I said. The doctor calmly turned around and began to hold Seth gently and just talk me through it. I stood there and stared as my baby’s body did things that I wasn’t prepared so see. Once the seizure ended, I began to cry. And those tears, they didn’t stop for a couple of hours. This momma’s heart was torn apart. But my baby is fine now. He slept quite a bit after we got home but was his jovial self several hours later. And I couldn’t have been more relieved. There is one thing of which I am certain after experiencing this with Seth. I must release the grip I have on my children so that the color can make it’s way back into my knuckles. And for the life in me, I have no idea how to do it. However, I’m pretty sure it involves praying and releasing and trusting. I guess I’ll start there.

30 thoughts on “Let Me Tell You About My Tuesday”

  1. Wow, that would be scary! I’ve known lots of parents whose kids have had seizures because of fevers or viruses. Thankfully we haven’t had that happen to us yet. That would totally freak me out.

    Glad to hear he’s doing better and that you’re learning to trust God more in the lives of your kids (always a challenge for us parents).

  2. My initial thought that ran through my head for Seth, was “Okay, this is treatable. In Jesus name, give those doctors wisdom.” And, while I still know this is true, I started praying another way. “You are a God who heals. Heal this little boy with your resurrection power.” I’m not sure why sometimes, I don’t pray just like that. Maybe, it’s because I’ve seen so much loss. But, we do serve the great physician. And, I will pray just that.

    I couldn’t help but think about those thoughts in our bible study either. As for loosening that grip, you don’t do it alone. We pray right with you.

  3. nothing worst for us to watch….

    Isn’t amazing that God allowed this life lesson to be shown to you while Seth was in the doctors arms??

    Not by yourself.. alone.

    God rocks!!!!

  4. One of my best friends had that happen to his 8 month old while he was away in Vegas. He wasn’t even here to be with him. Scary but I heard that is alot more common than I thought

  5. Cindy! Maybe we should have put up a scared mama’s Mr. Linky this week! I think it is so interesting that right after you shared your fear, He showed you that He’s got it all under control, even when it is terrifying.

    Keep your guard up, friend because trust me when I say that Satan is going to use this one to try to pull you down next time there is a fever in the Beall home. But you aren’t going to let him.

  6. Praying, releasing and trusting……you’ll be doing it over and over and over again. Just when I think I’ve got it down, something happens for me to figure out I’ve got plenty more releasing and trusting to do. He is SO in control!

    Love you.

  7. The day we found out we were having twins the doctor was afraid we might miscarry them. We had the joy of hearing that we were carry two lives, and the fear that we might lose those two lives! The first thing my mom said to me was “You have to learn that you have to give your children over to the Lord from DAY ONE!”

    My boys are only 5 months and I daily struggle with the thoughts of loosing them. I hope I get this lesson down before they get older or I will be grey headed very soon!

    Good Word Today!

  8. “Seth had a seizure.” I subbed in handbells last night and those were the first words out of your mama’s mouth. Terrifying. Indescribable. My sister who is 8 years younger than I had seizures. I remember holding her and talking to her…the only thing I ever saw my unflappable mother unable to handle. Coming out of nowhere and the sheer terror of seeing your precious child in such a state…enough to ensure white knuckles for a long time! After just talking about fear, I’m sure you wondered if this was a pop quiz!

    I know you know, but your mama is praying for you, loving you, and hurting for you as only a mother can…I can understand that kind of love, which gives me a peek into the love God has for us, especially during those awful, unimaginable, interminable moments of a seizure. God bless you, sweet Cindy.

  9. woah… did the doctor explain why seth had the seizure? i am praying for him. and for your heart.

    and i have a confession. there’s a verse in job that says his worst fear came upon him. i think of that passage often and it has made me afraid to speak my worst fear out loud. as if to put words to it lets the enemy know what it is, and then that would be used against me.

    am i crazy?!

  10. My oldest had fever seizures for a few years and it was terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. Even now that he has outgrown it, I still have an internal panic whenever he has a fever.

    I am so sorry you had to experience that, and you are right, it does involve releasing and trusting. And that is oh so hard.

  11. That is so scary! I would have no idea what to do if one of my daughter’s had a seizure. I’m guilty of that fear as well. Sometimes it stops me cold in my tracks when I let my mind go where it shouldn’t.

  12. wow, that would be pretty horrific!!! i don’t do so well when little molly falls down, let alone something like that…so when you figure out the whole letting go and color in the knuckles thing, please let me know how to get there…

  13. how painfully scary, cindy. i am so sorry you had to go through that and SO glad you were with the doctor when it happened.

    your final statement nailed me, my knuckled are also quite white!

  14. That is my worst fear as well. My friend told me that you have to give your babies to God, because truthfully, they are His in the first place, He just blesses us with caring for them while on this earth! Something I am totally struggling with right now!

  15. To watch your child struggle with physical ailments is painful but I’m learning (haven’t learned it all yet :-)) that God is able! One of my biggest fears is that my children will choose to walk away from the Lord. That might be unbearable to watch…but once again…God is able!

  16. My heart aches for you! after what happened last month with my youngest I know how you are feeling. I still have moments of why and what ifs. Thinking and Praying for you today!

  17. Was it a febrile seizure?

    OMGoodness. I am so glad you were at the doctor’s already. I am so sorry you had to go through that. You must have been terrified. I love knowing God is in control; I hate actually living it…

  18. Oh Cindy…words can’t express how a mother feels in times like that. But I know it well. Our vivacious 5-year-old went through a couple of years of frequent seizures. Though I learned what to do when it happened, it never got easier. And girl, I wish I could say it made me release the grip as you are so praying. I think it may have made it worse, in fact. I can’t wait to see what our sweet Lord is going to work in you…I pray you share your wisdom with the rest of us He imparts it to you. 🙂 We never got any answers on the why side of Miss C’s seizures…she always checked out just fine…even when we saw specialists. But it’s been a couple of years now and we are seizure free. No mystery to us why she no longer has them! 🙂 Bless you.

  19. @Andi Hawkins….

    Febrile seizures happen when a fever becomes too high for the body to take. It usually happens when the fever escalates rapidly or goes down rapidly. Their little bodies just can’t take it. They typically grow out of it between 3 and 5 years old. 😉 Thank God.

  20. I recently discovered your blog and I have to say that I’m hooked. We can learn so much from each other when we’re willing to be authentic… and that’s when I sense when I read your writing… which makes me want to read more. And…since you’re a bit further down the motherhood road than I am… I’m tucking some parenting nuggets away for future days.

    As an aside… my son, Silas, had a febrile seizure about six months ago. Absolutely terrifying. I hear you…

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