Marriage

Is The Grass Greener?

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I’ve rented two movies over the last week or so. We were fairly disappointed because both of them included infidelity. And it’s not just because we hate infidelity (which we do) and hate how it hurts the heart of God (which it does) and hate how it ruins marriages (which it has). We hate how it is glamorized by film makers. Very sad. I’ve always been disturbed when I hear someone say about his/her spouse, “I’m just not in love anymore.” Since when is marriage always a feel good thing? Ask anyone who has been married if they live in a fairy tale world where they always feel in love. Feelings are so incredibly misleading. You know what I think? (This is where you say, “yes”.) I think that we are in love with what we pour into and what we concentrate on and what we create. If you start to pay attention to the next looker who walks by, you’ll be doing that for the rest of your life. Hear me...There will always be good lookin’ people around you. Period. Get used to it and walk away. If you wanna be in love with your spouse, pour into him, concentrate on her and create new memories and habits that will bring joy for years to come. Moral of the story? If you find yourself thinking the grass is greener on the other side, don’t move. Just water your own yard. I’m just sayin’. (Originally posted on January 22, 2008)

10 thoughts on “Is The Grass Greener?”

  1. Thank you so much for all the “marriage encouragement” you give us. It’s so refreshing to be around someone who loves their husband and is very real about it.
    Appreciate you!!

  2. Amen! I couldn’t have said it better! Thank You Father God for this great reminder to water our own grass and stop trying to move onto someone else’s grass. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  3. Love it! Well said. (Mind if I quote your “water your own yard” principle? It is applicable to so many aspects of our lives!)

  4. Thanks for this post! I love reading your blog. It is so encouraging. I tweeted your line about watering your own yard. Hope that was ok (gave you the cred). 🙂

  5. The truth is, if you put all your effort into pouring love into your relationship, you won’t have time, nor will you care about any other “grass.” If you look at people who “jump the fence” there is one thing they don’t factor into their plan. The problems you are having in one relationship will follow you to another. If you don’t communicate with your spouse, spend time with your family, honor your husband/wife now, then you won’t in any other relationship either. There is one common denominator in your relationships you have, and that common denominator is you.
    As a famous Dr who has a TV show often says, past behavior is a good indicator of future actions. This is true, but people can change, otherwise there wouldn’t be many people married in the world today, because everyone would just give up. People who aren’t happy in there relationships, need to look at their relationship, and what it is they aren’t happy with, then they need to look at themselves. In 100% of the cases, if you aren’t happy with your spouse, it is you who needs to change something first.
    The best advise someone gave me a year ago changed my whole outlook on life. He said, an easy way to gauge your relationship with God, is by looking at how you see others. If you look at others and see their faults, then you are not in a right relationship with God, because the Holy Spirit doesn’t convict you of others faults, He convicts you of your faults. If you are in right relationship with God, you will be to busy working on your faults to notice the faults of others. So like I said, if you have problems in your relationship now, chances are you are the one who needs to change, before your spouse will change. Relationships require work. And the depth of your love for a person depends of how much of yourself you give to that person. Relationships require you to give, before you can take.

    Galatians 6:7-9 “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.”

    If you water your own yard, then it will grow. If you sit and watch it from a distance, but put now work into it, it will dry up, and die.
    No matter which side of the fence you are on, your grass will still need to be mowed, and will always have weeds that need pulled.

    Thanks for your posts. They always challenge me to think about my relationship. 🙂

    God Bless

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