Miscellaneous

I Killed Three Katydids Saturday Night

Oh yes I did and I have no bad feelings about it whatsoever.

katydid.jpg

This sucker, no, make that three of these suckers kept me up until two a.m. on Friday night. That is TWO IN THE MORNIN’, PEOPLE. And I have children to raise and a house to clean and blog posts to write. Seriously. The noise from these insects is quite deafening. So much so that the Hubby actually woke up from his BLESSED SLUMBER AND SAWING OF THE LOGS to ask, “What is that noise?” I know God must have finally sealed all of their chirpie little mouths or whatever the heck they chirp out of in order to appease me. I think I must have begged God on and off for the better part of three hours. His mercies. They are new every morning and even in the middle of the night. Hallelujah. Now, you know that I feel very strongly about my blog entries having a point. If I’m not encouraging you, I’m challenging you. If I’m not challenging you, I’m trying to make you think. If I have failed at the thinking part, I will do my darnedest to get you to laugh. See, there’s always a point. And today is no different. Today, my internet peeps, you will learn this: How to kill a katydid in the dark when your husband is out of town in Phoenix, Arizona.
Step #1: Get a spray bottle with some cleaning solution in it. (I used ammonia because it was handy. And it stinks.) Step #2: Get a hammer. Step #3: Get a broom. (You will need this later when step #1 isn’t entirely successful.) Step #4: Get a flashlight. Step #5: Call for back up. Step #6: Spray the cleaning solution on the katydid(s). Step #7: Keep spraying the cleaning solution on the katydid(s). Step #8: When the katydid does not fall from the window/wall, swipe it down with the broom. Step #9: Kill the katydid with said hammer. (Back up help may be necessary for this step.) Step #10: Put the katydid and its guts in the trashcan.
My back up was my 9-year old son. He is now an accomplice to murder. Would somebody please get me that Mother of the Year award?

18 thoughts on “I Killed Three Katydids Saturday Night”

  1. BRAVO… BRAVO….

    I’ll give you the Mother of the Year reward.

    Trust me “Simple Green” works magic too!!!

    Hammer…. how funny…. Shoes work ya know???

  2. Oh my goodness, I am doubled over in laughter! I’da killed ’em too! Good for you. And as far as your blog having a point, I think you made at least three. πŸ™‚

  3. Now THAT is Funny! A Hammer? Wow! They must be made of steel! I would have grabbed a shoe probably and swatted while running away at the same time.

    That Katy-done you wrong…girl!

  4. If it’s bigger than a piece of sand, I can’t smoosh a bug. I just can’t… I’m so glad I’m not the only one who sprays the bugs. Marke says, “oh, you can’t put the bug out of it’s misery quickly, but smashing it, but you CAN spray it till it suffocates and walks into a wall and dies a slow, painful, poisonous death.”

    Yep. Then I just vacuum it up.

    But that Katydid is awfully pretty…

  5. oh lord, they are like as big as animals, i think. you are much more of a woman than i am.

    here we just get lizards, an occasional snake and lots of rabbits (although i couldn’t kill any of the above if i had too).

    i can’t even kill a roach without gagging.

  6. I have a katydid in my house now, hence finding this blog…help…it is sooo loud….but i can’t get near enough to kill it without freaking out…I hate bugs…you definately deserve an award.

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