Miscellaneous

I Just Called To Say I Love You

I was thinking the other day.  Frightening, I know, but stick with me. I was thinking how many people believe lies.  I guess we all have at some point.  I believed a lie up until about 4 months ago and that lie was that I would never get over my food issues…that I would remain a prisoner to my sustenance.  And now, that is no longer the case.  I’ve been walking in freedom since December 15, 2008, and I’ve never felt better.  Not only that, but I’ve met my goal and now am 25 pounds lighter. One particular lie than many have believed is the ole I’m just not in love with you anymore lie.  If you haven’t heard it from your spouse, you probably know someone who has.  Whether you were the recipient of those words or made attempts to comfort another because she heard them, you know how dreadful they are.  And quite frankly, how ridiculous they sound. But, they don’t sound ridiculous to the person saying them.  Because that person is experiencing something and they are struggling with it.  Their feelings for their spouse have changed and they don’t know what to do with it. Welcome to marriage, my friend. I have never met a couple who was madly in love and all ooey-gooey every single day of their married life.  Have not, sure have not.  Not saying those couples aren’t out there, just saying I haven’t met them.  I will say that if there is a couple who has experienced this I bet it is because they’ve worked at it.  Find me a couple who is madly in love after 15, 20, 30 or even 50 years of marriage and I bet they’ll tell you that they made each other their priority over children, work, ministry, you name it. We’re in love with what we pour into.  Wouldn’t you say? Marriage takes work.  Life happens.  Children join the family.  Problems arise.  The world beckons.  Beautiful people cross your path and you find chemistry with them.  Regardless of the circumstances that are vying for your attention, you must remain true.  You must uphold your covenant. Beautiful people are everywhere.  And chemistry happens.  But, you must remember that a moment of sinful pleasure will cost you what you really adore. There will always be someone who catches your eye. Just make sure they don’t catch your heart.

11 thoughts on “I Just Called To Say I Love You”

  1. I wholeheartedly agree with you about “beautiful people are out there”. We can appreciate their beauty but they don’t deserve us abandoning our commitment to each other and attempting to “try out the chemistry” at the loss of our marriage.
    Probably it all comes down to a much simpler point…regardless of feelings (since they are so up and down) we made a promise.
    Promises reflect our character.

  2. GREAT thoughts, Cindy….as usual. So true…marriage takes work and setting priorities. And the rewards are wonderful!! I’m sending this to my married kids 🙂

  3. wise words, friend, wise words.

    there is nothing – for married Christians – that comes before our marital covenant save our relationship with Christ.

    be well! and, congrats, on the lighter you!

  4. Stated perfectly! I sent this to my son and his fiancee…they will be married June 6. After 30 yrs of marriage, I will say that my husband & I are madly in love with each other…and yes…we choose to work at it and we have made each other the priority! By God’s grace we are still going strong! 🙂

  5. This is soooo good!!

    I hate it when I hear people say….

    “I love you but I am not IN love with you anymore.”

    I love my husband and I can remember a time where I wasn’t IN love with him. I am IN love with him all the time now because we work at it. We make our marriage about us and not just about coparenting.

    Now with taking care of a parent and raising kids there are days were we truly feel it is us against them. LOL We truly have eachothers backs and fronts. 🙂

  6. I am a young woman single and struglgling with it I have peace a lot of times in this journey, but recently I long for more. I have had several friendships in life where I shared myself deeply and I hoped that God would have placed this person in my life for a reason other than friendship. Reading this is definitley a eye opener for those of us that have yet to experience marriage. Because as a single person you come across people that catch your eye and sometimes they are charming and funny, as a women were told by the word of God to wait and be found as we are working in his vineyard, but with the vineyard being the world and our surrounding communities in our sphere of influence is it possible to get so caught in mission work that you miss out on experiencing companionship because your mate or potential mate is not at that level in their walk as you are? For example, last year around this time I heard the calling of God to study in seminary to be an effective missionary in the body of christ, since then I have gone through a lot of challanges in my health both physically and emotionally and come to the conclusion that I’m not ready to sacrifice all (including marriage if that;s the case) to be a disciple, there are many couples that the husband may be a minstry leader but the wife is a supportive role, and I am wonderng are there couples that the wife may be active in minstry work and the husband is supportive of this. My ideal mate would have that fervor as I have. I also would love a family and children one day, if I am dedicated to studying seminary full time this could be difficult, cindy how did your husband and you handle the minstry, work, romance balance?

  7. I remember when I was a teenager our youth leaders, a husband and wife team got a divorce. In this particular kace the husband did not want a divorce and the wife did stating that she “Loved her husband too much”. Still till today I think that is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard. I like the comments of Keri who said… “We made a promise… Promises reflect our character.” Great point and well said. I think so many people in relationships get love and feelings mixed up, not really understanding what love is or the nature of the commitment we make when we marry.

    When I think about the choice I have made to love my wife I often try to reflect on the Scriptural definitions of Love… Love is patient, love is kind, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking… though we’ve all heard these words if not at our own wedding at someone else’s, I try to reflect on their meaning when I contemplate the love I have for my wife… am I being kind towards her, patient? Have I been rude in any way or self-seeking rather than placing her needs ahead of my own as the scriptures command?

    These are the aspects of life that define genuine love and I think once I have committed myself to another and am practicing these aspects, regularly AND in ways that my spouse will comprehend or receive as love, rather than in a manner that is more convenient towards myself… when I am so employed… I don’t think it is possible to fall out of love.

    Maybe a big portion of the battle is the careful and prayerful selection of the individual we would make such a promise to. James Dobson once said that the infatuation period actually lasts up to 2 years. Because of this I feel many of us (perhaps not all) mistake infatuation for love, making a commitment too soon.

  8. Yes everything you said was way true…and although I don’t belive I ever said I am not in love with you anymore to my spouse (like that matters), I did however belive lies of the enemy, planted for certian to attack and destory (succsesfully) my marraige. And although a “beautiful” sin broke the camels back it was not the one that let the enemy in the campground….any sin gives the devil a foothold, He attacked me with ” I should have this”- material thing- when God told me to make do with what i had, others told me “I was right, and I could have it (even my spouse) and my partner should treat me this way..so I listened to them instead of God….Because obeying God had so far (only got me where I was…and not where I wanted me to be)…you follow? One wrong thought one act of diobeince makes it that much easier for another…and please NEVER forget you are hit where YOU THINK YOU R STRONG…Please NEVER think you are above ANY SIN…satan will reveal in proving you wrong..and if you see someone falling…TELLING THEM CONDEMNING THEM, RECITING SCRIPTURE Will not help THEY NEED YOUR PRAYER, please pray with them, please love on them….People ensanared in sin run from GOD and THOSE THEY LOVE to who they think will except them….which turns out to be the world and the enemy…PLEASE LOVE THEM BACK TO GOD, SO HE CAN CHANGE THEM AND CONVICT THEM>>>When I came to God the WAY I WAS STILL in sin…He then helped me to remove it where I HAD FAILED IN MY OWN POWER>> EVEN WHEN I DID NOT WANT A DIVORCE SATAN STILL WON WITH LIES BY MAKING ME THINK I DESERVED IT…your husband would understand. I have a much better understanding of Gods Grace now because i have the “biggest debt”…..I could keep going but the kids are fussing.

  9. Believing in the lies … you just can’t

    Some days it’s really, really, hard not too. You want to just scream in frustration and pound your chest with clinched fists and quit.

    But I am learning about grace, humility, forgiveness, forgiveness some more and more.

    I have not gotten there by all means. But instead of looking at the negative, I look at the source and I lay my hands over the source and pray.

    I keep loving even when it hurts.

    Because I know GOD is ahead of me and HE has a reward waiting for me.

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