The hubby and I will celebrate 16 years of marriage in January, Lord willing. I absolutely love being married to him. I love the friendship we have. I love looking into my son’s eyes and seeing their Daddy’s face. Nothing quite like it. I don’t want to sound like I’m boasting but I may accomplish that with what I am about to share. People around me tell me how they’d love a relationship like Chris and I have. They are amazed at the respect we show one another and how we put each other above our own desires. They are impressed with the way we handle conflict and resolve issues without getting into fights. And I tell them that it really is good. Very good. That it really is as it appears. That we really do adore, admire and cherish each other. And then I tell them that it wasn’t free. To get where we are now was no small feat. We wasted plenty of time belittling one another with our words thinking that we were winning a fight, only to find that there was another tally in the loss column. When that type of action is displayed in someone, in some relationship, no one wins. So, if you will allow me, I’d love to tell you several things that Chris and I do now when we have disagreements. The first thing we do is keep the past in the past. We don’t bring up an issue that is already settled. We don’t throw things in the other’s face when we’ve already worked through it. Period. End of story. Another concept we try to abide by is to remove sarcasm from our discussions and disagreements. Sarcasm rarely does anything uplifting. It is usually at the expense of another and just pretty much crushes the spirit. We also make try extremely hard not to lash out with words about the other person’s character. We stick to the issue at hand. Instead of attacking my husband, I try to focus on what has happened without aiming to break his heart with my ugly words. One final idea that we really make an effort to do when we fight is to examine ourselves. If Chris brings up an issue about me that is bothering him, I do my best to ask myself, “Is there any truth to this?” And you know what? There usually is. He knows me very well. Why do we think our spouses are out to get us? Cuz you know that many of you think that. I used to but now realize that Chris has my best interest at heart. He is the one who comes to my aid, defends me and cheers me on in this life. And I couldn’t be more blessed.