He’s Not Rude, He’s An Introvert

He reaches out his hand, shakes the hand of the person he’s meeting, makes eye contact and gives a simple “hello”.  He says “yes ma’am” and “no sir” to his parents and other authority figures in his life.  He opens doors for people because he likes to help. But, he also goes to his room when we have a ton of people over at our home.  He doesn’t engage in much conversation with people.  He typically gives a simple one-word answer of “yes” or “no” by nodding his head. I used to think kids like my son were rude.  That they had no respect for authority because they rarely made eye contact or spoke words to me.  But, that was before I had an INFP as a child. No one knows my son better than me.  And what I know about him is that he is anything but rude or disrespectful. He’s kind and tender and loving and generous and thoughtful. But, he also doesn’t boast or like to draw attention to himself or be the life of the party. I imagine there will be people who walk through our life who might think things about my son or me as a parent.  Wondering why she doesn’t just “get him into shape with some good ole discipline” and teach him some manners.  I will just have to deal with that and not worry about what they think. Because if they only knew that I’ve got a gold mine in that 11-year old of mine. And I wouldn’t change a single thing about him. Except maybe where he puts his dirty clothes 🙂

8 thoughts on “He’s Not Rude, He’s An Introvert”

  1. I like this point of view. I think people need to educate themselves and just stop being so opinionated and authoritative. I call that the “bubba complex”. People who think they know all there is to know about everything but know little about anything.

    I love learning new stuff. It opens up a whole new perspective and outlook.

    Thank You Lord for using Cindy to give us this lesson in life. May we put it to use and allow You to teach us something new each day. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  2. You really got it right about that boy. He is very special and not too grown up to give hugs to his Nina.

  3. OR, in the case of my son, whom everyone just thinks is shy, was finally diagnosed at age 10, as falling in the range of Asperger’s syndrome/ high functioning autistic. Suddenly, as I began reading, my son made complete sense to me. All his little quirky habits, odd ways he does things, his very poor social skills, etc… all made sense. And some things that use to embarrass me, such as a situation you have described, or his reaction to the mention of washing dishes use to really frustrate me. Now I understand his sensory issues and the fact that getting his hands “germy” really isn’t him trying to get out of washing dishes, it seriously is a problem for him. He’s a compulsive hand washer and it very sensitive to his hands being dirty. I’m facing the fact that I have a son who will always have to have a dishwasher! I’ll continue working with him and try finding rubber gloves for his small hands.. but at least now, I get why he responds as he does and I don’t get frustrated and angry anymore. The issues of being in social settings have now come into bright light as I see why he simply cannot function as other kids and it’s not just that he’s shy, or an introvert. It’s painful to watch him sometimes,as he want so badly to participate in what other kids are doing and watches them in tears and frustration with longing in his eyes….and he literally doesn’t have the skills, doesn’t know how to enter into fun, free play. If there are no rules and no structure, he’s paralyzed. It’s heart wrenching to watch. I continue working with him, encouraging him, taking him for therapy, etc… and trust this sweet boy to God knowing He has a plan for his life, even in this.

    How blessed your son is to have a mom who knows him so well. And if you figure out the magic formula for dirty clothes landing in a hamper, please share that with the rest of us!!!!!!

  4. Great post. It’s so obvious you love and are proud of your son. You know, the same can be said of my brother. He’s quiet and introverted, and I’m sure there have been many people who have thought him to be rude when, in fact, it’s actually quite the opposite. Just goes to show, you don’t really know a person until you really GET TO KNOW HIM.

  5. He is an awesome boy. As much of an introvert he may be little Sether Joe makes up for. They are awesome kids. Keep braggin on them Momma!!

  6. The world is and will be a better place because of the INFP people. If you ever need help in getting that point across just let me know, I’ll be in my room by myself.

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