Miscellaneous

Forgiveness

Jennifer wrote the following:
I would love to see your thoughts behind letting go of hurt feelings and moving on. How can I move on after being hurt emotionally by a loved one?
Well, it just so happens I wrote an entire chapter on forgiveness in my book. I hit this pretty hard because I have indeed had to learn to forgive in this life. If you can’t make the time to read it, then here is the jist of what I believe about forgiveness:
We all make mistakes. We all have done things we regret. We all need forgiveness. And we all need to extend that same forgiveness to others – not just today, but every day.
Oh, and did I mention that that the Bible says so? That’s always the kicker, huh? Hope that helps, Jennifer.

13 thoughts on “Forgiveness”

  1. I dont remember where I heard this, but some brilliant mind made the point that praying for the people that have hurt you is a great step toward forgiveness. Its really really hard to be bitter and unforgiving toward someone you are praying for.

  2. It’s so hard, Cindy, because of the risk of being hurt again, and again, and again. I know several people that just can’t (or won’t) handle that risk.

    Thanks for being such a strong example of giving forgiveness!

  3. Good insight, Lisa.

    And you are right, Robin. It’s hard and it’s risky. But, I’ve learned in my life that just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you have to restore the relationship. Sometimes the relationship is restored, but sometimes the forgiveness occurs just to release the chains that are binding you.

  4. Amen Cindy. I couldnt read your comment about the relationship being restored (or not) without thinking of the book Boundaries. This book changed my life.

    Forgiveness is commanded by God. Staying in an unhealthy relationship is not.

  5. Forgiveness has been something huge in my life.

    Without telling my life story, but I have faced : Porn addiction(my husband), a rape and a mom that abused me.

    But I serve a MIGHTY INCREDIBLE WONDERFUL God whom I am so in love with.. none of that above matters

    It doesn’t define me.

    I have a verse (not a bible one) written on the inside of my bible and when I am gnashing my teeth over an issue I go back…

    To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.—Unknown

  6. Wow. Tough subject no doubt. Forgiveness is hard for everyone – and we have all had our issues or instances with need to forgive.

    When I get to a place that I feel it’s impossible to forgive someone – and I’m battling with wanting to hold on to that grudge and anger, I think about how I would feel if God wouldn’t forgive me.

    And it breaks my heart. So I choose to forgive. I don’t FEEL like forgiving. But it’s a choice I make. Sometimes I’m good at it but more often than not I really battle it and suck at it.

    But I’m trying. I want to be like Jesus. And forgiveness is definitely what He’s all about.

    Great post.

  7. My friend and I had this conversation about forgiveness a while ago. One of the things she said was “Forgiveness does not equal reconciliation” I know easily within the past year, I’ve experienced loss in friendships/acquaintanceships (with people who I thought ‘did me wrong’).

    When you’ve forgiven somebody does not necessarily mean that you become ‘friends’ or as close as you were before. Of course, this is not always the case, especially in marriage. Is this true?

    What are your thoughts?

  8. when i became an adult and carried my unforgiving heart with me, i was miserable. all the people who had abused me and hurt me were in my mind every day. i would get angry, scared, depressed. then i realized…’they’ dont care. and yet…here i am giving them all this power over me. still. when i have the control and ability to severe it all. it was a huge moment when that occurred to me. a total release!

  9. I used to hang on to unforgiveness as if it was my only pair of underwear. I just wouldn’t take it off. It felt as if forgiving meant that I was condoning someone’s behaviour. When I became a Christian and found out that I would only be forgiven to the extent that I forgive I began praying for a forgiving heart AND I would ask God to bless the people I was trying to forgive. I’ll admit, at first, I prayed through grit teeth, but this too I asked Him to change in me. He knew that deep inside my heart, I really wanted to forgive. It sure feels good to “change” and wear something else. 🙂

  10. I would just like to expand Tam’s point just a bit. Because I, too, have found that forgiveness is a RELEASING of the bitterness I have harbored. Without forgiveness, that bitterness would become a poison.

    And I don’t want to live like that.

    So when God commands us to forgive others, IT IS FOR OUR OWN GOOD as well.

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