Fave Post – How To Hide A Front Butt


Ah, that’s right. You know what I’m talking about. You’ve seen it on men like Bill Parcells. Some call it a pooch. Or a tummy. It’s been referred to as a gassy cell. Maybe you call it bloating. Call it what you want. I call it a front butt. And I have one. Surprised? I bet. I know how to hide my front butt. Here are my tips:
  1. Never tuck in your shirt. Never. N-E-V-E-R means NEVER.
  2. Get your jeans a size bigger. If a 14 fits tight, get the 16. The 16 will cover the front butt.
  3. Stand up straight, hold your shoulders back and suck in the front butt. Walk tall, ladies. Walk tall.
  4. Throw away ALL Mom jeans. You know the kind…sits high at the waist and tapers toward the ankles. These only accentuate the front butt.
  5. Get a tummy tuck. Did I say that out loud? It is a dream of mine 🙂
  6. Do not, I repeat, do not wear fitted shirts. They will always give away the front butt.
  7. And for the love, throw away any pants with pleats. They are the enemy of the front butt.
I hope this blesses you. Amen. (Previously posted on January 18, 2008.)

5 thoughts on “Fave Post – How To Hide A Front Butt”

  1. i was thinking about how you said, “No matter how much weight i lose, i’ll always have a front butt.” and then………..

    it’s GONE!!! 🙂 so Praise God you weren’t right about that!! 🙂

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