Marriage

Driving A Wedge – Step 4

The fourth step in Five Easy Steps to Driving a Wedge Between You and Your Spouse is: 4.  Always put your children ahead of your spouse. Our kids need us, that is true.  And any parent should know that different seasons are more demanding.  But, just go ahead and make sure the needs of your kids are always above your spouse’s. Women, this is something that you can do a little easier because you are the mother and typically, the primary caregiver.  Not always, but usually this is the case.  Whatever you can do to let your husband know that your kids are more important than him, do it.  If it’s when you are having a conversation and one of them comes in to interrupt, allow them to do that and immediately go do whatever your child wants.  Even if it’s a glass of juice or a snack.  Even though they can wait and will eventually need to learn patience and respect, this will show your husband that his needs are nowhere near the top of the list. Men, this might not be as simple for you because usually, you are working all day long and your children’s needs may not always be on the forefront of your mind.  That’s okay.  You can still put your children in front of your wife.  One way is to allow their activities to consume your family so that you can’t even spend quality time with your wife.  Maybe a desire of yours might be to live vicariously through your son or daughter because of a void in your life.  This is good.  Lay aside any desire or chance to romance your wife so that you can put your children first. Last piece of advice is tomorrow. And it’s a doozy.

5 thoughts on “Driving A Wedge – Step 4”

  1. When my children were toddlers, this was never an issue. As a matter of fact, I would tend to judge moms who put their kiddos before their man. Then, my kids started school. Activities increased. My OCD kicked in. And, I find myself having to be VERY conscientious about this. I have caught myself on an occasion or two doing just that.

  2. I followed your link from your Stream Faith post on 10-3-09. At 1st I was confused. I kept reading and referring back to the title. Shortly after, the light bulb went off and I understood the approach you were taking. Extremely creative and attention getting! I love your writing style…it makes an enjoyable read. Take care!

  3. Wish I could have seen you the other day! Hope everyone in your house is better.

    Oh how I fail at keeping my husband first. The kids are so much LOUDER.

    Sorry for the super long email earlier. I’ve been cooking that idea for awhile and today, out it came! I should have tweeted it. 140 characters helps a person cut to the chase!

  4. I will confess that I have lived vicariously through my 4 boys and sacrificed time with my wife for them.
    On a similar note, in the past, my wife would tell me, “my children are my life. I will do anything for them…”
    WE didn’t spend more time together. How can we live and work as a team if we aren’t in the same huddle.

    Yes, #5 is a doozy…

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