Motherhood

DO NOT MOVE!

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So, my baby boy, who is 3 1/2 by the way, decided to put ham up both of his nostrils today. Yesireebob, he did. He laughed his head off even though I was fuming. I told him to blow air out his nose hoping that would do the trick. It worked for one, but not the other. I told him to stay put and not move a muscle while I went to get the tweezers. I know, I know, not wise to put sharp objects near a child’s brain when you have no medical training whatsoever. Seriously, though, I have watched a lot of medical shows and my friend, Brett, is finishing his 4th year in medical school in May. Surely that has to count for something. As I return, with tweezers in hand, I tell him to lay still. He then realizes the seriousness of all of this and then begins to apologize profusely. “I sorry, momma. I sorry, momma.” I began with surgeon-like hands to remove the bits of lunch meat from my son’s nasal cavity. It wasn’t good enough because it was too dark in there. I run to get the flashlight and tell him to lay still again. He actually obeyed. And he was actually still. With flashlight in hand, I see into his nose and am able to get more pieces of ham out of his nostril. How much ham did he put in there? A lot. So much so that when he gave one final blow, ham the size of a small jaw breaker shot out of his nostril and landed on his shirt. He could breathe again. I could breathe again. Dear Lord, please help me keep this child alive. Amen.

15 thoughts on “DO NOT MOVE!”

  1. All I can say is ewwwww! Reese just climbs to the top of the highest pinnacles in the house and then cries for me to come get her. Or eats glow sticks.

    Gotta love the 3’s.

  2. i am sitting in the doctors office reading this laughing my head off. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall. Thank you for sharing your story and allowing us to feel we are not the only ones things like this happen to.

  3. Yup, been there. Piper stuff teddy bear stuffing up her nose about the same age. Ended up NOT getting it all, and after a week or so she began to stink! Had to take her to the doc and he found the problem. Teddy bear stuffing all nasty and gettin infected! It was discusting! Thank the Lord you got it all out. He told us, next time blow in her mouth and shoot it out her nose just to make sure we got everything. Luckily, there hasn’t been a next time!

  4. OK, I have to admit..this story made me laugh and go ewww also! Boys will be boys, I guess. Glad you got all the meat out! I bet he will think twice next time:) It sounded like you did a great job of staying calm too!

  5. Cindy – Having been a nose stuffer myself (you name it…raisins, french fries, bubble gum), I assure you that there is hope! Mom still likes to tell stories about how she would get calls from babysitters, childcare workers, you name it, reporting that I had once again stuck something up my nose. The phase passed, and then one day she was able to save some other kid using her fine-tuned skills when he stuck a nickel up his nose. So…you never know what lies ahead for your new-found talent!

  6. Ha Ha! I love that kid! He is the cutest…and a little frightening, I’m sure. Definitely feelin a ham sandwich right now!

  7. Chandler stuck an altoid mint up her nose at just about that age. Now we can laugh about it but at the time it was “panic city… get the tweezers, hold the baby (Luke was a newborn) and I’ll get it; no, honey, you don’t know what you’re doing (my husband said as if he did this kind of thing all the time); blow Chandler blow, harder; get dressed and get in the car, we’ve got to get to the hospital; maybe we should call an ambulance, look how red she’s getting; achoo!, oh thank goodness, she sneezed it out.” Then we just kept asking what made her do such a thing, as if she had a good reason at 3 years old. I actually miss those days now as Chandler is in 8th grade and Luke in 5th. Where did the time go?

  8. Kennedi use to stick ANYTHING up her nose – french fries, beads, etc…

    Our Dr. taught us to pick her up – hold the mouth closed and BLOW up the other nostril.

    Nostril blowing expert right here sister…

  9. Cindy Cindy Cindy, If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times… it’s moments like these you need to photograph. 🙂 I love it.

  10. I guess kids will always stick stuff up their nose. My mom tells a story of when I was 3 (must be the age for it too) that I stuffed and entire tissue up my nose. She said she was so embarassed to take me to the doctor…they thought it was an orange seed until the doc got a hold of it and pulled it out. The funny part about it is, I probably only did it because my mammaw (mom’s mom) had serious hey fever (that’s what she called it) and she would twist the end of her hanky and stick it in her nose. I was just mimicking what I’d seen.

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