Marriage

Do I Trust Him Yet?

Even though I’m sure many of you wondered this, only one person has actually posed the question to me: How did you ever learn to trust him again? I haven’t mastered it. I’m still learning. I’m learning that when Chris is walking in the fruit of God’s precious Spirit that I can fully trust him. But it’s not really Chris I trust…it’s the Jesus in him that I trust. Isn’t that the way it is with all of us? Maybe I’m the only one who feels that way. Chris hasn’t given me reason to doubt him in nearly six years but the enemy certainly has. The attacks are strong and we feel them. Satan failed at his first attempt to destroy us so he’s still trying. But Chris and I are doing more than turning our cheek from him…we are resisting him and fleeing from him. In all actuality, everyone will fail us at some time. That’s just the way it is. While some may think Chris is more likely to fall again, I realize that I, Cindy Beall, am just one step away from making a decision that might lead me down a path of destruction. All that to say, our ultimate trust is to be in the One who has not failed us nor will ever fail us. Jesus, the Christ, the Holy One. My hope is built on nothing less Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame, But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name. On Christ the solid Rock I stand, All other ground is sinking sand; All other ground is sinking sand. Amen.

14 thoughts on “Do I Trust Him Yet?”

  1. Honestly, I had never thought of it that. To trust Christ within. I kept looking at others wanting to trust in a being that is not trustworthy. This brought one of those “a ha” moments, thank you! It brought a light to my morning.

  2. Cindy,
    Thank you for sharing this. I am sure many have asked that question as they have heard or read your story but maybe did not want to voice it. It is important for those that have had similar circumstances to hear about the trust issue.

    When I was walking in my singleness there was a woman in our bible study who was standing for her marriage. Her husband had been involved in multiple affairs and she had taken him back each time. The one key missing ingredient each time was that he did not know Christ. Many thought she was crazy but she wanted to show him Jesus. Through their last separation he came to know the Lord. They have been reunited now for over 13 years. He serves the Lord with her in missions and together they have a story they tell just as you and Chris. The enemy hates these stories of redemption and will continue to attempt to tear down what Christ has put back together again. But there is victory in Jesus!

    Just as we trust in a Christ that we cannot see, one has to learn to step out in faith and trust the one that may have hurt us.

    Blessings,
    Vickie

  3. Thank you Cindy for your wisdom and your openess. I have a very close family member who is struggling to EVER trust anyone again. Your final statement ‘our ultimate trust is to be in the One who has not failed us nor will ever fail us. Jesus, the Christ, the Holy One.’ is exactly what we are saying and praying for her. Thanks for being a voice and a light for the hurting, betrayed and broken people. God is definitely using you to bring hope and comfort to His people. God bless you & Chris and your family!

  4. Thank you for your honest and open postings. God has really been using you to speak to me about a number of things. I particularly liked your post today. My husband and I have been married for a little over 2 1/2 years. In the first few months he lied to me about little things. It hurt that he didn’t tell me the truth and made me feel like I couldn’t trust him. We were still in the final stages of our “pre-marital counseling” and talked it over with our pastor. However, from time to time I still feel doubt and wonder if he is indeed telling me the truth. Sometimes just things on TV can stir up doubt. I want to trust him. I know that it’s just Satan trying to cause distention in our marriage. Thank you for turning my thoughts to Christ…

  5. When I made the decision to see my marriage through one of the questions I asked my self was”Would I be able to live each and everyday with this person and trust him?”…the answer was YES because I still loved him. I knew in my heart that if I could not trust him ; I needed not to stay. I knew and refused to live that way.
    I know this sounds weird but I never let my mind wonder off nor did I give Satan that opportunity to play with my mind.

  6. My wife and I have lived through similar circumstances…

    The perspective shift from selves (we were both at fault), to Christ has kept us 11 years, through four beautiful kids we wouldn’t have had otherwise…

    The temptation for bitterness, vengeance, and self-righteousness is ever at my door… but through the filter of my own sinfulness in Christ… there is hope, forgiveness, and compassion…

    God is miraculous! I love your your story…

  7. I have struggled with the trust thing off and on myself, but realized that only trust and true forgiveness, as well as the overflowing love that I need to have for my husband can only come from God when I am focussed on HIM. In my obedience to God is where I can find peace and joy. I felt like we were so far apart and had been through true hell as we battled satan ourselves to save our marriage. It was only when we both were able to finally recognize the need to go to God and focus on Him and his word that the triangle was complete. We still falter and realize that when we aren’t in the word and walking moment by moment in His Spirit is when we get distracted and off course. It is a daily battle that has eventually become a little easier and most defintely sweeter as we have found each other again.

    I haven’t shared our personal wars with many this year, but know that 2008 will be great because of the trials and pains endured this past year. I have found strength and commonality through your sharing Chris. Thank you for being so straight forward and honest. I am in awe of the way God uses his people to heal and give hope to the hurting.

    I look forward to reading your book!

  8. i am so blessed to hear your story of God’s faithfulness in your marriage. i am a newly wed and it is wonderful to hear how God saved you and your marriage – i remember Chris telling the church his story when he was preaching and i thought – wow, his wife is SO strong – i then i thought – She really knew deep in her heart how much Jesus loves her… have a beautiful day and thanks for sharing..

  9. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You are, with my mother being deceased, the strongest woman I know. And for that matter, so is Chris (except he’s not a woman :)) A lesser man would have taken the easy road out. This story changed my life… as I know it continues to change many lives. I love you both!

  10. I love this line…

    I realize that I, Cindy Beall, am just one step away from making a decision that might lead me down a path of destruction.

    There is such wisdom and humility in this statement!

  11. Thanks, Cindy. I really do love you and your ministry. I only need Jesus to make it, but I’m sure glad He gave your help to me.

  12. Cindy,
    I have never met you, but have been a member @ LifeChurch for about 8 years now and remember the parts of this story that Craig shared with the church. The most impressionable part to me was how you had made the decision to honor God by embracing Chris’s son and show mercy and kindness to the other equally “guilty” party. This story came to mind the other day when I was discussing a conversation that a friend of mine @ Birthchoice had with a man who called looking for the “morning after pill”. The name of the place is a tad decieving as it is a pro-life organization (anything short of sin, right;-)) Anyway…he had gotten a girl pregnant and wanted to “fix it”. My friend counseled him gently and found out that he was married and didn’t want his wife to find out. She was given words from God to convince him that one mistake will not correct another and before the man hung up he promised that he would reconsider and he thanked her for helping him not make an eternal mistake. As I said, I have never met you and only know the little bit of your story that was shared on stage, but I told my friend about the decision that you and your husband had made to embrace the “other woman” and that precious child. She was moved beyond words and told me that she will use your powerful story to tell others of options, not just worldly options, but God’s options.
    I just want you to know that you give me hope! Hope that people are who they say they are. You have such integrity as you did the right thing in God’s eyes, no matter what the world thinks. God sees everything and sometimes I think people (including myself) think we can cover one mistake up with another.
    God bless your family! (all of it!)

  13. Still, almost 4 yrs. later after my husband fell into temptation, sought forgiveness and repented, I am struggling with trust. It is very hard.

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