Mentoring

Dear 41-Year Old Married Father Of Three Kids

Are you happy? If so, please tell your face. I see you sitting on the chair at the water park just biding your time.  Your kids are overjoyed and are having the time of their lives and you are just sitting there, enduring it all with a heavy sigh and rolling of your eyes, waiting for it to be over.  You can’t wait for the day to be done so that you can go back to your cozy den and submerge yourself into a world of ridiculous-ness that is seen on the television. You have no idea that you are missing life…right in front of your eyes. I see it in your wife’s eyes.  She misses you but doesn’t know what number to use to call you.  She can’t find your heart so in the process decides she has to protect hers.  Before you know it, there is a huge, brick wall right in the center of your king-sized bed.  You haven’t truly seen her in years. Your children come to you with their accomplishments just hoping they’ll receive an accolade from you, their dad.  Only to be recognized with a motion from their father’s hand because they’ve gotten in the way of his precious television show. You are missing it all.  And you have no idea. So, wake up from your sleep.  Snap out of it.  Before you know it, you will be a complete stranger to the woman you were once head over heels for.  And your children?  They won’t come back to visit you because there is no relationship to maintain. You have no idea how many people would do just about anything to have the life you have. Don’t believe me?  Ask around.

15 thoughts on “Dear 41-Year Old Married Father Of Three Kids”

  1. so I’m curious…Did you wake up one day and decide to write a bunch of letters, it seems random, what’s the deal, yo?

    BTW–I agree…WAKE UP!!!

    One of my fav. verses says Awake you who sleep, ARISE from the dead, and Christ will give you light. Eph 5:14

  2. Anyone reminded of the old Cat Stevens song, Cat’s in the Cradle?:

    And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon,
    Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
    “When you coming home, Dad?”
    “I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then.
    You know we’ll have a good time then.”

  3. So true in my life today. I never see my husband smile anymore. I don’t know how to make him wake up and that brick wall is being built with mortar already drying.

  4. Remember me? Longing?

    wow…are you hiding in my dreams? Watching my house from a corner, right next to the dust bunnies?

    Can you send this to my husband, anonymously?

  5. Cindy,
    Thank you for pointing out my current condition that I have had for the past 2 years. Yes, I have been happy at times. No, my wife could never tell because I didn’t tell my face. Thanks for putting it plainly for me. It is amazing how communication really can work sometimes.

    Yes, I am missing it all because my wife and kids are 700 miles away…I am that stranger.

    How do I get her back? I will start by telling my face that I AM happy.

  6. Haven’t been here in a while, but am so glad to drop in. You’ve written a great series for us to read and reflect on.

    The descriptions are so relevant and real. Thanks for sharing.

    No wonder you’re one of my featured blogs!

  7. I actually thought of myself when reading this–why? because contentedness is elusive to all of us depending on attitude and just our general make-up. I’m task oriented–love people–but just don’t always take the time. For whatever reason have a hard time just staying in the moment and enjoying it. BUT I AM WORKING ON IT!!! Recently read the book–The Present–very good. Anyway–you are fun to read with a challenge. Thanks.

  8. Dear Cindy; I truly appreciate this article. It has allowed me to look into my own eyes and see what i’ve been moissing. Since the death of my fiance’ three months ago; I just felt like I was here.I felt guilty if I laughed and never feel better when I cry.All I know is that I wake up each day to do it again.Even though I was going forward in ministry I still felt the loniliness. Now I am fully persuaded and mind made up that I wont die and I shall surely live. I am talking about a spiritual life and death. I am a child of God! I want to enjoy my family while we are here today. Thankyou for all you do for us daily.

  9. Dear Cindy
    How we would love to just turn back the clock before everything became so technical. The times were Sunday lunch at the park was a family outing, which everyone just looked forward to. Cindy it is so true, and we all are caught up with all this guilt that we do not spend enough time with our love ones. Thank you for sharing this, you are so accurate.

    love
    Bev

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