Mentoring

Dear 17-Year Old Teenage Girl

I know you think you’re in love.  Really, I know. Been there. I know that there is something going on inside your body that is making you think you’ll spend the rest of your life with this thug guy.  You are experiencing things you’ve never experienced before.  Your hormones are going absolutely nuts.  It’s almost as if a circus has come to town and the town is your body. But, if I could offer one piece of advice to you it’s this:  Please don’t. Please don’t give your heart, soul or body to him.  He tells you if you love him you will and I say that if he loves you he’ll wait.  Chances are incredibly high that you will be “in love” with a new guy next month.  Most definitely next year. I’ve been with my husband for over 17 years.  We have had our share of struggles.  We’ve gone through seasons where we couldn’t stand to be in the same room together.  We’ve hurled insults at the other than have taken years to overcome.  We’ve betrayed one another on just about every level there is. But, we’ve also tasted the sweetness of bringing children into this world together.  We’ve enjoyed times of laughing to the point we ended up crying and wetting our pants.  Okay, well, I wet my pants, but still.  We’ve fought for each other, against others and with each other against foes that are not even visible to the human eye.  We’ve bonded in ways that can only come through years and years of commitment…through the joyful times and through the excruciating ones. Because trust me, if you don’t walk away from this guy right now, when you are approaching your 20-year high school reunion, you will wish that you had. So, please.  Please save yourself, your heart, your body, your soul for God’s best.  He’s out there. And you never know.  Maybe he’s saving himself for you, too.

18 thoughts on “Dear 17-Year Old Teenage Girl”

  1. This is my first time comment although I lurk a lot. I love this open letter to teen girls. I consider mentoring young ladies to be a part of my life’s work and this letter has excellent advice.
    God bless

  2. Wow! I have been having this conversation ALOT lately Cindy! I will be having my daughter read this today….someone else other than mom saying this will be nice 🙂

    Thanks soooo much

  3. I, too, will be letting my daughter read this. I want my daughter to understand that God does have His best for her and that he is worth waiting for. Thanks!

  4. I was that girl at one time too. I wish someone had written me that letter. When I met my husband I felt bad that I hadn’t waited. He did. Luckily, almost nine years later I’m glad he did. I’ll have to save this for my children.

  5. I am facilitating a bible study in the fall called “5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter” and I will definitely share this letter with the moms. Hopefully they will in turn share this with their precious daughters. Thank you, Cindy.

  6. I love this Cindy! Our 18 year old god daughter has lived with us for the past 3 years. As we have shared this same message with her, by the power of the Holy Spirit, it has transformed her life. I lead a teenaged girls bible study where I promote and encourage the girls saving their hearts for their future husband. This is a message we have a responsibility to share with any teenaged girl God places in our lives. It is a message that their generation and culture opposes with great force. BUT it is an invitation from Jesus for them to live a deeper life in Christ…one with joy and freedom! I pray God used your letter to change this young lady’s life just as He has our sweet Wendy’s. On behalf of the body of Christ, thank you for sharing the truth in love with her! I miss you!

  7. You just wrote my life and what I tried (without success, I’m sad to say) to teach some girls in my life. Beautiful, well-written and you conveyed the message without any tone or hint of judgment at all. Outstanding.

  8. You are incredibly gifted Cindy! You hit the nail on the head. It’a a very beautifully written reply to the heart of a teenage girl who’s thinking of doing a life altering thing. It can have devistating, life-long-lasting effects on a young girl &/or boy. I hope she heeds your advise – couldn’t have been said better! Thanks for your thoughts, Cindy.

  9. Cindy,
    These words couldn’t be more true. I too, wish that someone had written this letter to me years ago…and really it could be my letter to my now 17 year old daughter. I felt like it was me…I hope this young lady sees the wisdom in this letter and trusts God!

  10. Wow. This was just wonderful. I have a 1 1/2 year old daughter and I want to burn this into my brain to give to her when she turns 17 (or maybe younger given the way the world seems these days). It was beautiful and I’m so glad someone sent me here to read it.

  11. As a single, 22 year-old female I want to say THANK YOU! Thank you for boldly proclaiming Truth, and reminding us all that the holiness of God needs to be pursued on a daily basis. I am trying to live a life of purity, and it’s encouraging to be reminded that it is worth it! 🙂

  12. Cindy–I sent this to our youth pastor to see if he wanted to post a link on our youth site to it. I’ve been working with these kids for a long time and your letter touched me more than you’ll know. The pastor printed it out and read it aloud to our youth group last night. Thanks. You nailed this one….

  13. Dear Cindy
    I have 3 daughters, and the oldest thinks that she would not want to give her heart to anyone cause it was broken, but I tried to reassure that she will love again, and it will be a love that is patience, a love that is not rude, or envious or jealous, but it would be a love that can allow her to grow into the lady tht God wants her to be, pray with me that she finds someone that will love her for who she is .

    Thanks for this article, it speaks to my heart, if only we were mentored when we were young, wow what a difference it would have made in my life, firstly i would not have got married at such an early age, then experience a divorce and now experiencing a child that wants to be just left to her own devices….

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