Marriage

Cardinal Rule

Have you ever been around a couple who constantly cuts each other down? Or maybe you’ve been around a couple where one of them makes jokes at the other’s expense? Possibly, you have even had the experience of a couple down right duking it out in your presence. Maybe you are this couple. Why is it so easy for us to says things at the expense of others? We do it all the time in the name of humor. Unfortunately, it does not edify. Have I told you lately that my husband is amazing? If someone ever came to me and said, “Cindy, girl, your husband was doggin’ you today and sayin’ nasty, nasty stuff about you. You might wanna hode yo hoops and take him out!” I wouldn’t believe it. Not because he isn’t capable of it, but because it’s just not likely. He’s done a lot of things but he doesn’t do this. Why? Because we decided early on in our marriage that we weren’t going to be those couples like the ones mentioned above. We were going to speak well of each other. We were going to honor one another in public. If a matter needed to be addressed, we’d address it at home…not in front of others to try to get some point across with a little chuckle. I’ve failed at this more than I’m proud of. And the moment I do it, I am immediately disheartened. I don’t let any grass grow under these size 9’s so I go to him and ask for his forgiveness without delay. What is it for your marriage? What is important to you? (Originally posted on January 1, 2008)

3 thoughts on “Cardinal Rule”

  1. We have this rule too….. It is also the reason I quit our neighborhood BUNKO group years ago – couldnt stand the husband bashing.

    Just keeping yourself speaking positively of your mate, really does good things for your marriage.

  2. Actually, Cindy, I was just talking to a friend about this the other day. I’ve seen couples like that, and even in groups of friends, where people make a joke to hide their own insecurities and put the negative attention on someone else – it’s quite sad. For my husband and I, we also made the agreement early on in our marriage (almost 4 years!) that we would not belittle each other, whether jokingly or not, in public – that we would stand together as a team. If there were issues that needed to be addressed, we’d talk about it at home. We don’t act like everything is perfect but we know to respect each other, privately and publicly.

  3. Same for us Cindy. I remember growing up in a home that was like your described. I have been victim to it also. It does hurt darn it. We need to “cut” “it” “out” and do what’s right by God. This kind of attitude is not of God; it is of the adversary. God loves us too much to treat us like that. Praise God!

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