Brotherly “Love”

Winter Blast 2009 was on it’s way last Friday to Oklahoma.  Mind you, we’re a week into Spring and our meteorologists still say Winter.  I suppose saying Spring Freak-Out wouldn’t sound as terrifying when a winter storm is headed your way. Knowing that we were expecting “blizzard-like conditions” on Saturday brought forth mixed feelings.  On the one hand it meant that I would be stranded at the house unable to leave.  On the other hand it meant that I would be stranded at the house unable to leave 🙂 My boys woke up disappointed because there was no white, fluffy stuff on the grass.  However, they didn’t let that stop them from engineering their amazing forts.  They use chairs and blankets and the sofa and play pretend and get along and have snacks that are loaded with sugar. And I let them.  Cuz I’m nice like that. But then something goes wrong.  Someone hits the other and the other strikes back and tears start flowing and all sense of peacefulness is gone out the window.  And my mother’s heart aches. It aches because I don’t want my boys to treat their friends better than they treat each other.  It aches because I want them to work through their problems without yelling and hitting.  It aches because I long for them to realize that when their Daddy and I are gone, they are all each other has.  I suppose this brotherly love takes time. Just like healthy marriages take time.  Rarely do we start out on day one with a healthy marriage.  No, unfortunately it often takes some fights, some hurtful words, maybe even some silent treatments to make it to a place where we are no longer fighting each other but fighting for our marriage together. I pray one day my boys will be each other’s biggest fans and defend each other above their friends.  I pray that their children will play together and that their wives will be the best of friends.  I pray they’ll come to each other for advice or just to watch a football game on TV. Must…keep…praying.

13 thoughts on “Brotherly “Love””

  1. funny you should mention “forts”. my youngest two (Tabbi and Jordan) built an amazing tent/fort that took up the entire library on Sat eve. They had games, books, flashlights, tape player, and pillows crammed underneath the configuration of chairs and railings. They begged to stay the night in their creation. At first, I wanted to say no. What a mess and I knew they wouldn’t sleep well. Cranky kids in the a.m. and a mess to clean up…but the “Real Mom” in me…decided just let them do it. They are getting along so well and having so much fun. They did have a hard time falling asleep but they did something that even surprised me. They invited their big brother to join the “night adventure” and stay the night in the tent. He told me that he couldn’t say “no” since it was so cool that they had invited him.
    So late, very late Sat eve (almost Sunday morning!!)…I had 3 kiddos sleeping in a huge tent (that took every blanket in our house and pillows) and enjoying each other’s company.
    those are moments to treasure. sure enough fighting comes along but when they love each other…they invite each other to “sleep overs”!!!
    thanks for letting me share!!! love to you

  2. Hi!! 🙂

    I’m learning this principle… in ALL areas of my life.

    Fight for it…. By praying for it!

    BTW: I miss forts.

  3. My heart is right with yours on this one. I see the petty arguments between mine and it breaks my heart. Then I see them pull together when one of them is hurt, sick, sad.

    During this time when Craig and I are back and forth to the hospitals alot. I find my kids helping more around the house, Helping eachother more and basically doing what they are suppose to do without being reminded.

    They have been blessing me alot lately!

  4. This glimpse into your home reminds me of two of my own boys. I was encouraged last week at my parent teacher conferences though. Both teachers mentioned how much my boys must love each other because whenever they are given the chance to write about whatever they want, they write about their brother! The love is there. Even when they fight, as JS (my 6yr old) said in his journal, “we make up.”

    Keep praying!

  5. I have an older sister…5 years my senior. Growing up – we did NOT like each other. I was the baby and she was the one who would rather style her hair, try on makeup, and hang out with friends than be with her “baby” sister… Then something magical happened. I moved 4 hours away to go to college and when I was approximately 18 and she was approximately 23, she had her first child…my first and only nephew. She started writing letters to “Aunt Net” from Dustin… i.e. Dear Aunt Net, today I went potty in the potty chair and not in my diaper. I wish you were here…I love you.

    This developed into the best friendship ever. My sister is the one who I go to for EVERYTHING. She is my best friend, my supporter, my cheerleader. I wouldn’t trade her for A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!!!!!!

    By the way – 3 years after that wonderful nephew, came my only niece… I did not become “mom” until my husband gave me two wonderful daughters as a wedding present almost 2 years ago and I pray that I can be as wonderful of a mom as my best freind/sister. The nephew and niece? They are now 23 and almost 20…and are still my heart. We have a saying between the 3 of us – whenever we end a call or email – we finish it with “LYTM” or “Love You The Most” and then we disagree on who loves the other the most. No aunt could love a niece and nephew as much as I do and they gave me their mom as my best friend! 🙂

  6. At times, my son and daughter couldn’t breathe the same air as each other without fighting! Other times, they were the best of friends laying on a blanket in the backyard having a picnic and catching bugs! At times, I feared that they would grow up and not like each other. Today, my son is 26 and my daughter is 23 and they adore each other! My son is getting married in June and lives in another state, but he calls his sister regularly and they pray over the phone for each other…it’s such a joy!!! And I’m well aware that it’s a gift from God…not because of my awesome parenting!! 🙂

  7. I have to totally agree with you regarding the healthy marriages. They must go through trials in order to be able to withstand the storms when they roll through. My marriage isn’t there yet – we are still working towards getting back under one roof after being seperated. But, one of the songs from Fire Proof, say it all with this line for me:
    “No, Love is not a fight
    but its something worth fighting for”
    By Warren Barfield

  8. Cindy,
    What a blessing to stumble upon your website today. I am so excited to share it with everyone. What a precious ministry to women and to hurting couples. You are a gift! Thanks….I will be back often.
    Love, Macy Missildine

  9. oh, i feel your heart on this!!!

    during the nfl playoffs when we were all dressed in titans gear pete said “you know, one day football could be what keep our boys connected, they’ll call each other on game day or even get together to watch the game.” that one statement made me an even bigger football fan! 😉

  10. i hear ya sister. i get pretty discouraged when i witness my two treating each other less than they would anyone else. and we’re quick to ask them if they treat their friends that way.

    it definitely seems to be a sibling thing. yet, there is truly no “good” excuse for it. at least not at my kids’ age, ya know? its something, at this point, they can choose to control.

    or not. im learning as i go….

  11. My son girlfriend has four children, the youngest his, he has two sons also. She has a son that is 7 and he does too. I told them that they’re all my grandchildren– there is no steps, they’re brothers and sisters. The two 7 year-olds are always fussing but when they pray they always pray for each other first. AMEN. I have 3 sons that’s how they were also. LOVE always win in the end! I’m praying continually for Salvation, Infilling of The HOLY SPIRIT, Marriage, and more of the LORD. I LOVE YOU’ll, Keep SHINNING for GOD!!!! HALLELIAH!!!

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