Biker Chicks Don’t Wear Pastels

They wear leather.  And chaps.  And tank tops so that their tattoos can be shown. dsc01108 Clearly, I chose an alternative clothing style.  You might imagine the looks I got at the local biker bar when we walked in.  Our friends, Kyle and Lori, looked like true bikers. You know the kind…guy with tattoos has great lookin’ chick on the back of his Harley Davidson sporting her doo rag, all the while propping her leg up on the bar that supports his saddle bags.  Exactly.  My husband, Chris, also did a nice job sporting his motorcycle arm tan and biking boots that added another two inches to his already 6’2″ frame. dsc01109-2 And then there was me.  In my nice Gap jeans, which do bring out the best in my figure, ifidosaysomyself, my Adidas tennis shoes with the bright fluorescent coloring on the sides, which I happen to adore, thankyousokindly, and my nice pastel green shirt. A biker indeed.  And as I walked in the door, they laughed and snickered and I threw my arms in the air and said, “You wanna piece of me?” giving them my best and meanest  and most certainly southern growl.  They scurried away like little mice and went right back to their drinks and left me and my pastel green shirt alone. That’s what I thought. I walked right up to the bar, slammed my fist down and demanded a Pina Colada.  “I’ll show them,” I said to myself.  All the while, Chris, Kyle and Lori had decided to go to a separate part of the bar so that they would not be associated with the wanna be biker chick in the pastel green shirt.  When all of a sudden, a very large and very tattoo-ey biker chick came up to me, rared her fist back and… In all actuality, there was no biker bar, no Pina Coladas and no threats from me or toward me.  Why?  Because real bikers don’t go riding WHEN IT’S 250 DEGREES ON THE ASPHALT!  Sweet mercy of God, it was hot.  HOT!  It was like having a hair dryer blowing on your entire body for an hour with no relief!  You start pretending like you are actually in the air conditioning in hopes that your mind will take you there.  But, once you stop and feel your rear end and wonder if you didn’t have an accident but then realize it was the sweat, the sweat I tell you. We did, however, enjoy a great LifeChurch.tv At The Movies experience at our Stillwater Campus followed up by a nice dinner at Louie’s Bar & Grill. Rest assured, there were no bikers injured or threatened by me at said eating establishment.  I did let the server know who was boss, though. It’s what we Biker Chicks do. And do have yourselves a wonderful day.

9 thoughts on “Biker Chicks Don’t Wear Pastels”

  1. Well, if you ever do go into a biker bar wearing pastels, just wear your angry eyes as well. It will keep the biker people at bay. I just know it.

  2. You had me at piña colada. And believe me, both desk clerks and biker dudes & chicks alike would surrender to you in those Gap jeans. I know.

    You rule.
    Rock on.
    Peace and love.

  3. I kept hoping for a “pic” at the end of the story. Of course, not of the sweaty bums but of the cute biker girl!
    As always, your stories are what makes my mornings bright!

  4. you are crackin’ me up!! you don’t give yourself enough credit — anyone who withstands those conditions should be automatically accepted into the ‘biker chic’ category!!!
    you’re ‘in’ in my book!
    and the fashion statement was mighty fine if you ask me 🙂

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