Before I Hit The Sack…


Every night before I turn off the lights and head to get some much needed shut-eye, I go into the rooms where my little men are sawing some serious logs. The Beall house is a noisy one because we all snore. Yes, even yours truly. Thick girls usually snore. I’m just sayin’. The main reason I check on them is because I want to make sure they are breathing. Some may think that silly but I’m gonna go out on a limb here and bet that a lot of you moms do the exact same thing. I see that hand. Glory. I also go in there to remind myself how much I love them. This comes in awfully handy when the day has been filled with fits and screaming and crying and pouting…not to mention all the things the boys do, too. I don’t care that Noah will turn nine this month…he’s still my little boy. I kiss his face about 312 times and then go in to see his brother. Seth is a fireball. I speak things over him when he sleeps just like I do with Noah. I’ll say, “You are a blessing. You are going to do amazing things with God. You are going to know him and love him and serve him all the days of your life. You are going to spend an eternity with Jesus and walk the streets of gold.” And he just lays there. Peaceful and quiet…very much unlike him. I give him about 312 kisses, too. I don’t always feel like I am a good mother. If I’m being honest, and oftentimes I am to a fault, this is my biggest struggle in life. Oh, I have good mother moments, but for the most part, I am probably just average. An amazing victory one day and a downright failure the next. However, no one loves these boys like I do. No one. I’m their momma.

19 thoughts on “Before I Hit The Sack…”

  1. I feel she same way at night with my boys (and girl). I will go in and pray over them as they sleep so quietly. My 3rd child does not stop talking…ever…all day. So when he lays in his bed sweet and quiet, it certainly is refreshing 🙂 He also has quiete the personality so I pray over him that God uses it for good and that I can help direct him in the way he should go.
    I sometimes look at my kids and wonder, wait where in the world did these 4 little things come from? Why are they mine and why am I repsonsible for raising them? I can’t do it!!! But then, through God’s grace, I do, and late at night, I get to give all those sweet kisses too!

  2. Ahhhh…sweet memories. You know, our biggest struggles are usually our greatest areas of influence. I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately.

    BLESSINGS to all the “average” moms out there who are intentionally raising a GODLY next generation!! I salute you! You get “IT”!

    Keep it up Cindy…..It’s going to be a wonderful reaping!

  3. As a mom I do question my ability to be all that I need to be to my kids. As a woman, I question the same thing about giving enough to God, myself, as a wife…friend…housekeeper…etc…the list could go on for days. Most days, I feel like an Octopus! Doing what I can with everything I’ve got attached to me and still not getting “IT” done…but were doing it girl …one day at a time!

    There is nothing “average” about being a mom…In fact; I think anyone taking on the responsibility of being a “mom” is superb. SO YOU ARE SUPERB…far from average!

  4. Cindy, your family is sweet!
    Sweet to know, sweet to see, and occasionally it’s sweet to feel a part of it…kinda like the Meadows–you’re with them, you’re a part.
    BTW–those boys teach me something every time I see them…they’re a joy:)

  5. Moms love deep, don’t they? Sweet thoughts about those tiny men you’re raising. My boys have said, “why are you looking at us like that?” Memorizing your faces, I tell them. “Well, do it without looking at us ‘all weird like’. ” I like to think Jesus memorizes my face when I sleep too!

  6. I love watching my babies sleep. Even though they are 11, 8 & 5 they will always be my babies.
    Seeing them so still and being able to reflect helps me to (try) and be a better mom.

  7. My boys are just about the same age as your and my wife does the exact same thing. She can’t help but go in and check on them before she goes to sleep and anytime during the night that she wakes up. I will go in and give them a kiss goodnight and since they are already asleep I figure that pretty much covers it. What does Chris do?

  8. I pray every night for the Lord to show me how to be at least an “Average Mom”. My mom loves me but she is a very selfish person and I spent most of my childhood raising her. So there are days where I have to remind myself that it isn’t about ME, just because that is the example that was shown me in motherhood. Both my children are special, frustrating, loving and wonderful in their own ways. I am soooo blessed to have been chosen by our Father to be their mommy but their are days where I think that they deserve better. I just continue to pray that I will be the best average mother I can be.

    Thanks for your comment. Love your CA fan club. LOL

  9. Don’t feel too strange, Cindy. My son is 16 years old. He snores like a tank. I sometimes read in bed after he falls asleep. If the snoring stops, I often find myself jumping out from the covers to see if he’s still breathing. A mom never stops being a mom.

  10. Wow! God has really been using you to speak to my heart lately. So many of your posts have hit spots in my life and have had me thinking all day. What you write is dead on! Thanks!

  11. I discovered your blog today thanks to my friend, Jennifer Beagles. I love how candid you are about feeling like a champ one day then a failure the next. So glad I’m not alone in my daily struggles…and compulsive urges to check for little tummies pumping up and down at night….as a mother. A good friend of mine really helped me about the days I feel inadequate as a mom. He said, “Look at your child as a bank. Whenever we do “it” right, we make a deposit. Whenever we fall short, we make a withdrawal. As a parent, we all make deposits and withdrawals into our children. The KEY is to make more deposits than withdrawals.” This, for some reason, has helped me. And, whenever I take those extra 10 minutes (even though I want those minutes for myself), and I just lay down with one of my children….I think: good deposit, mom.

  12. Every night before I go to bed I go check on my boys kisses and covering them back up. I too find myself checking on them in the middle of the night. I love to watch over them and it always reminds me of how time flies by.

  13. I can’t keep lurking… Cindy, I’m addicted to your blog! There I said it. I NEVER reply to anything online because, you know, who am I – who would care? But you’re my girl and I gotta say it… I really love you and miss you and I’m so glad I get to keep up with your life through this crazy computer technology. I love that you don’t take yourself seriously and you’re real and you’re honest and you’re humble but you are also confident and funny and wise and beautiful (always was and always will be).

    I have to say that I’ve always had a problem with blogs and avoided them like the plague for a long time. I can’t stand reading about how to be a perfectly content, patient, frugal, healthy living mom when all it does is make me feel like a failure. I’d say I’m below average as a mom quite a lot. I play the “it will be better when” game WAY too much. But girl, the twins are almost 3. I’m sorry, but 3 is hard in this house – and with two of them!!! Aaaaaa! Maybe it’s just my kids. So, thank you for giving good things without sounding like a know-it-all, unreachable Mom-queen.

    Only one thing – what’s with the gangster talk? I’ll admit Sofie is “S-dog” – so we do it too. I think it’s a late 90’s thing. Imagine us in our 80’s talking like this. It’s pretty funny.

    I’ll never forget all the time and love you poured into me in my early months as a believer. You are so special to me!


  14. I always check my family to see if they are breathing. It is more difficult with my husband than with the kids though because he has sleep apnea so I have to wait for him to start breathing again. I am more relaxed about it now even though I do not like it…I used to stay awake waiting for him to breathe. When the kids get sick I am more likely to lay awake monitoring their breathing…I guess it is a combination of my nursing background, being a mom and my anxiety/fear factor.

    But I can relate Cindy.

  15. What a sweet post! It makes me look forward to the day when I can walk into the room where our two little guys will be sleeping peacefully! Right now they are just doing kickboxing inside me stomach at night!

  16. My girls are 2 and 3 and I check to make sure they are breathing too! It’s what mom’s do…even in the middle of the night.

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