Marriage

A New Member

Hillary Clinton. Jennifer Aniston. Nicole Kidman. Elizabeth Edwards. Each person listed above is a member of this club. It is a club that no one wants to join but when infidelity occurs in your marriage, you are automatically a member. I’ve “preached” about this topic before and you can rest assured that as long as there is breath in my lungs, I will continue to do so. For, you see, I am also a member of this club. When I heard about the recent story of John and Elizabeth Edwards and his infidelity, my heart sank. In fact, every time I hear of infidelity, I mourn. I mourn for the person who is experiencing what I did years ago. And it just doesn’t have to be this way. Over the last 6 1/2 years, Chris and I have had the honor of talking with countless couples…COUNTLESS COUPLES…who’ve endured awful circumstances in their marriages because of infidelity. We are very aware that using our experiences helps them so we willingly lay down our plans to do so. After all that Christ has done in our marriage to make it what it is today, how can we not? Few plan to commit adultery. Please understand this. FEW plan to commit adultery. It happens step by slippery step. No one is above it. It can happen to anyone. Just ask any of the anyones out there who thought they’d never do such a thing. Be on your guard because the enemy of your soul is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour (1 Pet. 5:8).

21 thoughts on “A New Member”

  1. I’ve said to people often, “Don’t every say you’ll never…” So, guard your marriage as intently as you guard your children.

    Thank you for sharing your story.

  2. Cindy,

    I praise God for faithful couples like you who minister LIFE and TRUTH to those who have fallen to (or been hit by) adultury.

    The enemy indeed prowls about like a roaring lion. But by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony we overcome.

  3. I was so saddened by this story too and even moreso that it was all over the news for day and night, not only are they hurting but it is public for the world now.

    Open communication for us is huge in staying faithful to our marriage vows, trust and respect. I respect my husband enough not to place doubts in his mind…but in a worldly world people think nothing of spending time with the opposite sex, in close friendships, hanging out after work with “work friends” it all just seems like one step down a slope neither of us want to go down.

  4. We have walked that road and I just have to THANK YOU for being there for me, for your words of encouragement, for just being a friend!! It’s amazing how God has brought life back to our marriage and WOW…it’s been AMAZING!

  5. I know the effects of what adultry can do. My first husband cheeted on me for the 13 years we were married. I am now married to a wondeful God given man, but sometimes if he does not answer his phone and I am not 100% where he is at that moment that feeling takes over and I start to panic even though deep down I know better. Does it ever go away?

  6. I thought of you when I heard this on the news. My brother in-law & sister in-law are still battling the effects of an affair, 12 years later. My sister in-law is still dredging it up to him. They had several years of restoration (we thought) but my sister in-law is still not letting go. So sad, she has deaf ears to what she needs to hear and do.

  7. I’ve learned I must trust God. Trust God with my life and Trust God with my husbands life. But that feeling hasn’t gone away. But I pray that if anything is not going right that I will immedately know about it before there is no turning back. I am grateful that my family is together, every day thankful.

  8. perfect post. well-stated, true.

    i agree. slippery slope, not-planned.

    our marriage counselor told us that an affair is always the culmination of many problems, usually two-sided, and is NOT the root of the problem.

    still, it always ends in a choice.

  9. i’m glad you’re here to be the “voice in the darkness” about such things. I feel like you’re one of those people that God is using as a watchman in the tower……warning people of the enemy. People need to hear it. ALL OF US need to hear it.

    i love you!

  10. I’ve been reading your blog for several months now and have to tell you that your story has brought hope and ministered to me….

    I’m sad to say though after trying to heal after the first affair 1 1/2 years ago…I just found out 2 weeks ago that my husband of 17 years (at the end of this month) has been cheating again with a different woman. I and my three kids have moved in with friends and are loosing our home and had to give away our animals….needless to say our life has become total chaos and are in a crisis. The kids know everything this time, and we are seeking counsel, but it doesn’t seem that he is coming around. He says he knows the right thing that he should say and do, but he just doesn’t feel it and he misses her just after 5 months. She has no idea how dire our finances are and lives in a dream world with him. There is no way I can compete with that…

    I do not feel, even after twice now, that God is releasing me from our marriage. Many friends and family do not understand this…and I do feel a bit foolish at times for hoping for a miracle from God…

    My biggest question for you is HOW do you get someone who claims to be a christian to run…sprint back to God before he removes his Holy Spirit from him for the last time. I can see the weeds choking him right now. He is drowning in this storm, but the kids and I can see God walking on the waves and telling us to hold on.

    Please feel free to email me…I need and seek wise guidance from those who have been through this battle of my life and family before.

  11. You’re so right … step by slippery step. It matters so very much what thoughts we entertain and what we incline ourselves to hear and see. It only takes a moment … one step.

  12. Felt the same way as you today. Everytime I hear of a marriage that is broken because of unfaithfulness I can’t help but mourn for them. And I can’t help but mourn for the past in my marriage.
    I wish I could live without the reminders,
    but I know God is building an “overcomer” out of me.

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