I Want My Baby Back


His long, newly turned five-year old body is just shy of 48 inches.  He is my baby and he is all grown up at the same time.  One minute he’s riding his dirt bike like he’s been doing it for years and the next, he is asking me for his bee because he’s cold.  He knows the meaning of the word inappropriate, but only says propriate.  As smart as he is, he still has trouble saying the “L” sound. As I walked into my bedroom, I had a hunch that he’d fallen asleep watching the little yellow sponge and his pink friend.  His head was tilted so far back that I got uncomfortable just looking at him.  I tried to be as gentle as possible when I picked him up.  Being the pro that I am at this sort of thing, he didn’t even wake up. The trek up the 14 stairs to his room not only builds my calf muscles but also allows me ample time to kiss his face while I do my best to make sure that I keep his head and legs from hitting the stair rail and wall.  His cheeks are as soft now as they were they day he was born.  The love I feel for this child brings fresh tears to my eyes as I write. Where did the time go?

17 thoughts on “I Want My Baby Back”

  1. Reading this is so sweet… It reminds me of the love of YHWH. If you love your son like that, wow, how much more does he love us?

  2. Sweet, sweet. Can so relate. What I can’t relate to is having such a tall 5 five year old. Can’t imagine where my kids or yours get their height.

  3. My baby turned 2 last month ago. There are times that I look at her and am stunned to be looking at a little person – not a baby, not a toddler – but the little person she is becoming.

  4. It IS happening so fast! My ‘baby’ will be 3 soon. After 10 years of having babies its odd to just have ‘big kids’…potty trained and booster seats instead of diaper bags and feeding schedules. I’m learning more and more to savor each moment of everyday!

  5. I know just how you feel. I can’t have babies anymore. Sometimes it kills me when I look at my 6 year olds and know that I will never get to look into their little baby faces again. No more feeding them, or changing them, of rocking them to sleep. BUT I do get to listen to them read for the first time, and teach them new things every day. I get to sit back and watch them grow, watch them dress and feed themselves. I love that they are 6. And I love that every now and then, one of them comes to me and says “mommy, will you hold me like a baby?” Those moments are priceless. And so are the ones where I look at them and see what great people they have become. 🙂

  6. ..and this made me tear up thinking about how big my boys are!Your little guy almost has a little “6-pack” on his tummy too! What a muscle man:) It’s fun seeing them grow up but yes, it’s happening too quickly!

  7. I told my kids the other day, I would give 10 years of my life to just hold them as a baby one more time – just one more time. They just dont understand, but someday they will and when they do, there will be a baby for me to hold once again….

    I love the knees of his jeans – my boys’ play jeans are my favorite – they just look like little boys!

  8. I’m so happy that the girls are such sound sleepers because I go in every night and and kiss them like crazy. Of course, first I make sure they are still breathing. That’s a habit that may never die.

  9. I know, Cindy. My baby boy turns 15 tomorrow. His cheeks are still as soft as the day he was born, he just doesn’t let me kiss them as much anymore 🙁

  10. I get teary just looking at them sleeping. Never do they look so much like the baby versions of themselves like when they are asleep.

    I love them now oh so much, but there are days I yearn for them as babies again.

    I always wonder if my mom misses the baby me.

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