I think I was born in a good mood. Obviously, I don’t know for sure, but I’m an upbeat kind of gal. You usually know what you are going to get with me. I do have bad days every so often but they usually are just that...every so often. I have experienced depression before but it’s always been short-lived and due to some pretty tumultuous events that have occurred in my life. I’ve spent the last ten days on crutches due to my incredibly embarrassing incident. And the likelihood is very high that they’ll continue to accompany me for the next few weeks. I’d like to tell you that I have been doing just fine and dandy. And that I didn’t cry and become emotionally absent for the first several days after I hurt my leg. Or that I haven’t wanted to only watch chick flicks so that my tears would be disguised while I’m crying as the couple finally gets together after overcoming all sorts of obstacles. I’d like to be able to tell you that all is well and I know that “God is in all of this and is teaching me something”. Or that this is just a “season” and it will be over soon. While I know those things in my head and believe them to be true, my heart has not followed suit. I have not sent out invitations to a pity party but I have come awfully close. Needless to say, I have been on the receiving end during this time. Food is brought TO ME. Drinks are brought TO ME. Medicine is brought TO ME. The Hubby and children are doing the dishes. And the vacuuming. And the cooking. And pretty much everything. My babies are being tucked in by their Daddy, which is perfectly wonderful. I sit at the bottom of my stairs and watch their little legs climb the steps while their Daddy chases them up them. However, I miss going to their beds, tucking them in and then kissing their precious faces once they’ve fallen fast asleep. I’ve been watching my amazing men serve me. And serve me joyfully, I might add. It is a gift in many ways and please know that I am trying, trying, trying to find joy in it. And maybe I am even though my cheeks are stained with tears. I also know that it is hard being down. It’s hard staying put when you are used to not staying put. It’s just hard. So, yeah. I KNOW God is teaching me. And as I’ve preached to all of you before in a previous post, I must let God use the methods and tools that HE deems necessary. But it sure does hurt sometimes, you know?