Question For You

Nine Years Ago Today…

Chris was at his new job at LifeChurch.tv, I was unpacking boxes and Noah was enjoying his new room in our new house. Beth Unbeknownst to me, it was also the day I had my first mentoring session with Beth Kuykendall. She simply stopped by to bring flowers, say hello and help me feel welcomed. It worked. Within 24 hours, my life would go from a relatively comfortable stay-at-home wife and mom to that of a very wounded woman who would eventually wish for death. The next day was the day everything changed for Chris and me. Now it’s been nine years. Sometimes I look back and can’t believe it’s been that long. Other times I feel like I’ve aged 20 years since that dreadful day. But one thing I cannot deny is how I’ve changed. The Cindy before February 19, 2002, wasn’t bad. She was nice, friendly, giving and loving. She sang and mentored women. She loved her family. The Cindy now is completely different. She is surrendered. She desires pure motives. She seeks to further Christ’s name and not her own. She is confident only in the fact that the Creator of the universe adores her. She recognizes that without His presence and power, she is nothing. She desires to give extravagantly in every way, shape and form. She always has a song on her heart although she is rarely on a stage sharing that gift. She thinks of the bigger picture and isn’t afraid of discomfort for she knows that brings growth. She has been completely transformed by tragedy. In a good way. I wonder if I’d be this way without that life-altering trial. I wonder if I hadn’t had to cling to my Heavenly Father, would I have done so. I wonder if I’d still be doing good things instead of doing God things. What sort of amazing fruit have trials produced in your life? I can’t wait to hear.

7 thoughts on “Nine Years Ago Today…”

  1. I got married while I was still in college. I was 21 years old, young, and naïve. I thought that’s what I was SUPPOSED to do. I thought I loved him. We were “happy.” He asked; I accepted. I spent the next 8 years in a constant argument, always trying to get things “right,” but never being able to make him happy in any way. 6 years into the marriage, after several fertility treatments, I finally gave birth to twin girls. The next 2 years of my life were a complete blur, but the fog started to clear when the babies were just past their second birthday, and he announced he was leaving. I was shocked and hurt at first, but then relief set in. The next year was completely insane, but during that time I met the man who God had destined to be my #2. The fruit of that terrible time in my life is being able to pour into my daughter’s (and now my son’s) lives and show them how to be servants here on earth – our temporary home. I am getting to model the way a marriage and a family SHOULD be – without all the fear, yelling and abuse. I hope I am teaching my kids – especially my girls – that they are WORHTY! Worthy of love and acceptance and GRACE. I hope to teach them all that when you believe and put God first, ANYTHING is possible. God WILL provide, and never stop striving for more. And I get to do this EVERYDAY with an amazing, godly leader in our home. I am so blessed. And I wouldn’t be here, if it weren’t for those early years! God is good! ALL the time.

  2. I remember that day. We were attending Life and I remember the air being very still as Craig talked to the people. And then we watched as this former pastor was walked through restoration. We didn’t know you personally, but we prayed.

    As I’ve heard the news of the miracles, as I’ve read your story, I’ve been so blessed.

    The amazing fruit produced by the trials in my own life is this, knowing that God is able to do abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine. And He will, He wants to, He sees me and He’ll use me to show someone else the same truth.

    Thanks for being transparent. This side of heaven you may never know how much God has used it to bring people to Him.

  3. I would say that I am so much less prideful but then that doesn’t sound like a very humble thing to say. 🙂 Seriously though, I look back and my pride and self-centeredness was through the roof, and though I hate grueling pain that this trial has brought into my life, I am so thankful to not be steeped in that kind of pride anymore. I think, too, that my compassion for others and their “stuff” has deepened. Before I couldn’t understand why people couldn’t just “toughen up, trust God, and move on.” Now I know – and I am better for it.

    On another note: 9 years! You made it 9 years! You have not only lived through something you thought you would die from but you have thrived through it and let God redeem it. Glory! Praising God for being so present to you through Beth K. and so many others and that you decided to walk this so that the rest of us could watch and learn. Love you, my sister. Way to go!

  4. As Christians who attendend (and volunteered at) church regularly, my husband and I had the same dream – to make a lot of money and retire early. We set about purchasing properties in our hometown, with the desire to either rent them or turn them over for profit. Right after we bought our second property, the economy went to pot, and we found ourselves $45k in debt (not including the mortgages) with very little income to live on.

    That was when we finally turned to the Lord and said, “What do we do?” The Lord sent us to South Korea, where we taught English at a church and made less income than we had ever made in our lives.

    He taught us to live on a budget, and to live a minimalist lifestyle. We realized that we didn’t need “stuff” in order to be happy. Actually, we realized the opposite. We learned that the “stuff” (and the financial burden that came with it) was preventing us from following God’s will for our life.

    We have been back in the states for 13 months and, out of obedience to Christ, we are currently renting a small home, living TV- and Internet-Free, and using every extra penny to pay off our debt. We have never been more at peace, and we are looking forward to the day when all of our time and money can be dedicated 100% to the Kingdom (and not to our credit card bills).

    I love love love that the Lord removes our support, leads us into the desert, and slays us with thirst – only to have us lean on Him, hide in His love, and drink of His goodness. (Hosea 2).

    Thank you for sharing your life, Cindy, and for helping me remember what He has done in mine.

  5. I know that Satan wants us to wollow in pity of our trials ,but that is NOT what God desires! Once I realize that I Can truely see a huge transformation in my life! I was UNWANTED, UNLOVED, by my own parents, they desired drinking/drugs over me ! I was in Foster Care and aged out of the system , I was labeled by society as a “troubled “kid when in fact my parents were the ones with the issues. I use to feel sorry and be like why me?Why can’t I have a normal family? I saw the most insane stuff when my Mom Was drunk, she smashed an empty wine bottle over my Aunts head. It wasn’t until I had walked through all that and had a God given heart transplant that things started to change for me. I started to be THANKFUL for that, I really do believe that me seeing the CRAZY things that I did SAVED me! Maybe if I hadn’t been able to see that CRAZY stuff and it SCARE me I very easily could have fallen into the same dectructive life style. I think that seeing that gave me a huge eye opener to what I could be facing, I know to this day God allowed me to WALK that path to save me from the generational curse of that destructive life. I am in my 40’s and I can thankfully say that I have never touched an illegal drunk in my life, nor do I drink. God has also used me to enourage other Foster kids and give them hope as The odds againest foster kids are less than 1-10 making it, MOST end up homeless, in jail, or DEAD! By the GRACE of God I made it and I encourage them that they can too. I also have been blessed beyond measure that I was blessed with several people that God put in my path that have loved me like a daughter, and blessed with answered pray for my children to have Grand parents. (One of my friends Parents “adopted” me and they are wonderful Christian people they treat me and there grand kids like there bio kids) Also have another friends mom that “apoted me so they have a Nana as well! So God is faithful, I went from being un wanted , un loved to being wanted by many! Love this saying:

    “LIFE IS LIKE PHOTOGRAPHY WE DEVELOP FROM THE NEGATIVES”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.