Marriage

It Was Truly My Pleasure

Over the years that Chris and I have shared our story, we’ve had our share of critics.  They don’t always come out and say things to our faces but they do behind our backs.  Sometimes people think we are just trying to get attention for ourselves by sharing what we’ve gone through. Yeah, that’s it.  I totally love being known as the adultery couple. Just sayin’. Kevin and Nikki are different.  Two years ago they found their lives in shambles due to Kevin’s infidelity.  To say the road they’ve traveled and still travel today has been difficult is literally putting it mildly.  But, they are traveling it and working and trying and most of all, they are healing.  And the funny thing about them is that Nikki will tell you that she didn’t have hope until she read my blog. I’m still astounded at that.  The fact that God would use lil ole me, my crazy story, my pain to help another.  Me, a sinful human being who doesn’t always get it right but sure as heck gives it her all. I’m happy for Kevin and Nikki.  Happy that they haven’t given up.  Happy that they have experienced life with their Creator like they never thought they would.  Happy that their marriage, their friendship is growing by the day. But most of all, I’m happy for their children.  Happy that they still have their parents together who are showing them living examples of how to push through pain and devastation in order to experience something amazing. So, I may not help a million folks on this earth.  I may only sell 1,000 copies of my book next year.  I may never get asked to come talk to people.  I may literally be a one-book wonder. But Kevin and Nikki’s kids won’t see it that way.  And while I’m not on this earth to please man, it is refreshing to know that God did use me, that He did redeem some of my pain by allowing three children to grow up in a home that, albeit imperfect, is now stable and committed. Ain’t God good?

9 thoughts on “It Was Truly My Pleasure”

  1. Bawling. My. Eyes. Out. What a way to start the day! Today, our oldest turns 9. We all sat on the bed together while he opened presents and later this evening, we’ll all lay hands on him and pray over his coming nine year-old year. I couldn’t have dreamed that would be true a little over two years ago. God is good. SO very good. Thanks for letting Him use you.

    Love you, sister. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We are forever grateful.

  2. Did I say “a little over two years ago”? I meant “under.” And does it matter to anyone other than an OCD wordsmith? Probably not, but it does me. 😉 Hard to believe next Weds will be two years. Ps. 124:1, “If the Lord had not been on our side…”

  3. Love this. You are always an inspiration to me and I have shared your story with many friends going through very difficult seasons of marriage. Amazing story of redemption. Thanks for being so transparent and real.

  4. Thank you for sharing – we have had two families in our church in the past month facing turmoil (understatement) because of infidelity. I’ve given both the women your blog address. Thank you for sharing the redemption that comes only through Jesus. Thank you for showing what life looks like when God has redeemed what the locusts have eaten. Bless you!

  5. O sweet Cindy. If you only knew how many times you come across my mind. if you only knew how many times you and Chris’ names have been uttered in our house. if you only knew how many times i have thought, “if she can get through this, then maybe i can too. if God gave them a marriage where she can now adore her husband, maybe i can stand to look at mine today.”

    and our sweet little guy has TWO parents in one house today. that did not seem possible 8 moths ago.

    you are certainly NOT doing this for attention. you are doing it to give hope to others who find themselves in this awful place. you are pointing people to a God who is so much bigger and more powerful and more loving than we could every imagine.

    thank you for sharing your story. i don’t know where i would be if i didn’t hear others’ stories. yours is too powerful to not share!

  6. My husband and I are about a year and a half into our ‘new life’ and continue to be blown away by God’s grace and incredible healing. My husband and I have been broken and humbled through the process but both agree that the relationship we have now, after the pain of infidelity, is better than the first years of our marriage. We are new people and our little family looks so different – we’re expecting baby #2 in a few weeks! His name will be Grayson. We originally thought we were having a girl and wanted the name Grace to be part of her name, as a reminder that her existence was a results of God’s grace in our marriage. We learned we were having a boy and gave up on this plan until this name was said aloud and we realized that the root sound is grace. If not for God’s grace, Grayson wouldn’t be joining our family. And, our 4 year old daughter would have two homes because mom and dad aren’t together.

    We were a few months into our healing when I came across your blog and then Sarah Markley’s blog. Both have been a source of such encouragement.

    Thank you for sharing and continuing to share!

  7. Cindy,
    From the bottom of my heart, thank you for walking your own road of pain, suffering, healing and hope. And thank you for being willing to share your journey so others know there is HOPE when their lives look as if it couldn’t ever get darker. Thank you for pouring out and into strangers who have no one to talk to. Thank you for being Jesus to my wife and family. God has and continues to use your life to help people like me because of your honesty and vulerability. Because of your blog, my wife chose to keep fighting and trusting God to redeem our lives and He is. Keep being bold in your witness for Christ. Hide it under a bushel, oh no, I’m gonna let it shine. 🙂

  8. As I’m reading through these comments – I’m looking for the “like” button the like them. They have all said what I want to, and more. My marriage isn’t together, the “d” word is still looming and in the process. But, your story never ceases to give me a little bit of hope. And, like others have mentioned – you all don’t share it for boastful reasons of your own. You are being boastful about what the wonders God can do when we allow him to,

    This is one of the things I tried to convey to my husband on Sunday;
    “Happy that they still have their parents together who are showing them living examples of how to push through pain and devastation in order to experience something amazing.”
    One of the reasons I continue to have a thread of hope some days is for this reason – I am CERTAIN that if we push through our selves, our pain, and the devastation that we both cause (not just his affair) the amazing brilliance is what awaits us. That carries me through some very dark days.

    Thank you for continuing to share your story, and to bring hope to so many at a time when there could be so much despair.

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