Marriage

It Happened Again

Not to me, but to Suzanne*. I don’t know her but I got an email recently that said this:
please pray for me. my husband just confessed his affair to me. we’re in ministry. i’m dying over this.
I’m heavier than normal over this. To be real honest, this was the 6th or 7th email I had gotten over a 7-day period. I get pretty used to these types of emails and have even gotten the “oh it’s just another adultery email” attitude before. Try not to judge me for my callousness. I don’t want to have those thoughts. But I do sometimes. I do because adultery is everywhere. People are vacationing from their wedding vows at the first sign of chemistry with another. But getting this email from Suzanne was different. I have no idea why. I’ve never met her. I’d never even heard of her. Don’t let the “we’re in ministry” thing surprise you. Pastors are fallen humans, too. But I wonder how they’ll handle it. I have no idea if there will be attempts to sweep it under the rug and put a nice, pretty bow on top of a lot of “I’m sorry and this will never happen again” comments. If this happens, the marriage is as sure as over in my opinion. And chances are, it could happen again if complete brokenness isn’t present. Because people are stupid, y’all. They aren’t smart. They don’t protect themselves or their marriages. They feed their flesh and by doing so discard their spirit. They act like this sort of thing will never happen to them. And because people are stupid, there are other people who get hurt in the process. People like Suzanne and her children. She doesn’t deserve it. They don’t deserve it. At all. No one does. And any of us can be on this same path if we think we’re above such sins. I’m at the top of the list. It could have been me. The Kingdom of God will take a major hit for this. And I suppose that is what breaks my heart the most. Thankfully, our God is a lot bigger than a man’s bad choice. And if they’ll let Him, He can turn this whole thing inside out and make it bring more glory to His holy name. I don’t want to sound like a broken record here. I really don’t. I’m sure people are sick of me posting things like this and about how we need to be wise and guard our marriages. So, I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll quit writing about adultery when it quits happening.

7 thoughts on “It Happened Again”

  1. amen! “I’ll quit writing about it when it quits happening.” Honesty. Someone needs to use it! Praying for all those who hurt in this area. Sad. and yet. God is amazing and all about Restoration…in our hearts and lives!

  2. It’s a deal, sister. Don’t stop!

    Suzanne*, you are not alone, girl. There are many who have walked this before you (self included) and know too well the pain you are experiencing. Lean into those sisters and to the strong and faithful God who will no doubt carry you. He is faithful. Whether we know you or not, we love you so much.

  3. Every time I learn of this happening again it makes me weep. It hurts my heart. Doesn’t matter if you know who they are or not. The very thing we cannot do is to “quit” talking about it. The worse thing we can do is hide it or brush it under the rug. It will continue to happen until we all begin to listen to the truth over the lies. So, thanks for being real. Thanks for bringing it up again.

  4. Please keep doing what you are doing. It may seem “weird” to some people, but, experience and compasion is what those in need want. So many want to sweep it under the rug and not face things. I believe there is healing in dealing directly with the problem.
    Thanks for your love and advice to those who really need it!

  5. Don’t stop bringing attention to this awful destructive sin because then the enemy wins. Your doing a good work here!

  6. You better never stop reminding us.
    I need it.

    I almost crossed that line and didn’t even realize it was happening. I am a blessed one that has people that pulled me back and questioned me about changes in behavior. Adultery is insidious. It hits you and you don’t even know it.

    “People are vacationing from their wedding vows at the first sign of chemistry with another.” This statement is so true and some of society thinks it is acceptable. It is NOT!

    Thank you for your determination. Keep it up. You aren’t calloused either….I just think that it hits you where it hurts everytime you read it.

  7. Don’t stop writing about it. So thankful also that not only do you write about it, but share a story of God’s supernatural redemption in the meantime. You’re a hope-giver, Cindy. Please don’t stop.

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