Each and every week I receive emails from hurting spouses practically begging me for just a minute of my time. That’s an odd request to receive as it makes me seem like I have all the answers. I certainly do not.
But just this week as I was praying over the emails and situations in the lives of those hurting, I decided that I would share about a ministry that will most definitely help you begin to put back the pieces of your marriage after infidelity strikes.
Allow me to introduce you to an amazing ministry called Affair Recovery. Rick Reynolds is the founder and president. He is a terrific man of God who loves to help others due to his own journey through infidelity. You can watch his story HERE.
Rick is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and leads a team of individuals, also LCSWs. Their mission is to restore those in crisis to extraordinary lives of meaning and purpose. They accomplish this mission by a variety of ways: weekend retreats, online courses, free articles online, a FREE 7-day bootcamp, to name just a few.
I want to encourage you to seek out the help you need on your own journey. This team is amazing and wants to help you. Not only that, they know what they are doing.
Praying for you.
I get asked that question on a regular basis.
Another question I’m often asked is, “How do you get through the pain?”
Cry it out.
Yell and scream.
Act like it’s not there.
These questions always come from hurting wives after they have found out of their husband’s betrayal (or hurting husbands after a wife’s betrayal). Whether it’s an addiction to pornography or a full-on physical affair, the pain is still real in both cases.
None of the answers above are right or wrong or accurate. For some people healing is faster than it is for others. Pain is no respecter of persons. You can’t buy your way out of pain and you can’t “be positive” and expect it to go away. From my personal experience, the only way to stop hurting is to walk through the mire and deal with it. Anything else will cause you to be cemented in a pit of pain and discomfort for a lifetime.
The length of the pain varies from person to person and depends upon just how willing the person is to deal with the pain versus ignoring it. But that’s not all of it. Pain will never go away and a heart will not heal without the supernatural touch of God.
It’s often said that “time heals all wounds”. I see why people say that and to a certain extent the cliche is true. However, I would change it to “God heals all wounds in time.” I do believe that time is a big factor in the healing process but a heart will not experience true healing void of the power of God.
Allow God’s truth to seep into your wounded heart:
- “For with God nothing will be impossible.” (Luke 1:37)
- But He said, “The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.” (Luke 18:27)
- “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.” (Ephesians 3:20)
It really stinks to hurt. There isn’t anything fun or enjoyable about it. But it’s part of life and the sooner we can accept that, the sooner we will be able to experience the power of our healing God.
Day by day. Week by week. Month by month. Year by year.
Don’t lose hope.
One of the greatest things about Social Media is that I have gotten to “meet” some great people. Of those great people are Justin and Trisha Davis.
Justin and Trisha have a similar story to Chris’ and mine and have lived to tell about it. Not only lived, but are now in a healthy, thriving marriage while ministering again at Cross Point Church in Nashville, Tennessee. They are using their past to help change people’s future.
They have a great website called Refine Us. They are all about “Restoring Hope and Renewing Relationships”. They do marriage retreats and offer coaching as well. You can also read their eBook entitled, 8 Things That Destroyed Our Marriage for FREE!!!
I encourage you to check out their site. I know you’ll be encouraged!
A couple of months ago I highlighted some stories about infidelity. Some of the spouses are years into their healing while other have only known for a very short time. If you missed out on these stories, I encourage you to read them, encourage them and pray for them. Here are their stories:
It’s My Story: Gina*
It’s My Story: Hailey
It’s My Story: Michelle
It’s My Story: Brandy
It’s My Story: Gretchen
It’s My Story: Jenni
It’s My Story: Kim
It’s My Story: Sarah
It’s My Story: Marty
It’s My Story: Sara
It’s My Story: Steven*
It’s My Story: BJ
It’s My Story: Lesley