When my husband, Chris, used to call me to tell me he’d be home later than expected, I would make sure I let him know of my disappointment. I would muster up everything in me in order to project the biggest and loudest sigh over the telephone followed by a whatever.
Good one, Cindy. That’ll make him rush home.
My first response was never about the strain he must have felt not only having to work longer, but then knowing he’d get the 3rd degree from me when he called to tell me of his plans. It took some time but eventually, I wised up.
I don’t know if it has been the fact that I am getting older or because I don’t want to make him feel bad for something that he usually cannot control or simply due to my desire to make his homecoming pleasant.
And that is what I work so hard to do.
In ministry, something always comes up. It just does. And instead of working my magic and using every manipulation trick in the box, I simply say, “Okay, baby. Looking forward to seeing you when you get home.”
And boy, if that man of mine, who is singlehandedly bringing sexy back by riding his scooter while saving money on gasoline, doesn’t rush his little self home to lay a nice, juicy kiss on my lips.
A nagging spouse is like the drip, drip, drip of a leaky faucet; You can’t turn it off, and you can’t get away from it. Proverbs 27:15-16 (MSG)
I’ve been a lot more frustrated over this issue than I used to. Trying to relax a bit.
Thanks for the reminder.
I’ve only caught onto this in the last couple of years. My Kris, who is a pilot, when he used to travel, I’d give him the 123s of the stress of the kids, who were 4 and 2 at the time. (Not to mention a 6 month old lab who liked to pee and poop everywhere.) I’d like to say that my revelation came the same way yours did. But, I think my kids being older and more manageable has changed everything. Now, I just miss him, because I love him.
Wise words, woman!!
thank you for all the wise posts you have given us lately……
I too have been working on this one.
Amen.
~Luke
Thank you for the words of wisdom! I will make sure to watch myself!
I know I do this myself sometimes.
I’m usually the one who gets caught up at work and believe me I much rather be at home with my family. In the past my husband would give me a hard time but all it did was make it harder because it was out of my control.
I really struggle with this. Thanks for the reminder!
Oh Cindy, you are so awesome! I feel blessed when I read your blogs…thank-you!
So, so true and ohhh, man, did I get busted on this one many, many years ago. A certain someone that my husband worked for (whose initials may or may not be TS
decided one evening late in December to rebuild a server rack. When my hard-working husband called home to let me know he’d be home much later, I went off…on how much there was to do at home, blah, blah, blah. And my husband, in his quiet, funny, yet truthful way said, “Well, it’s a shame that I have to work late because you’re really making me want to come home.” Completely busted, attitude adjusted.
I love this post. I have a friend that use to thrid degree her husband. It upset her husband so much. Craig worked with him and he would hear Craig call home saying he would be late. He wished that his wife would react the same way.
I have always trusted Craig. I was always the wife that would ask if he needed me to bring him anything. I also tell him don’t worry about us we will be here when you get home. Be careful. Love you. And you know what….He always comes home, he doesn’t go to bars, he deposits his whole check in the bank and he takes care of us. I am really blessed.
“And boy, if that man of mine, who is singlehandedly bringing sexy back by riding his scooter while saving money on gasoline, doesn’t rush his little self home to lay a nice, juicy kiss on my lips.”
I’m just loving this part! That is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while.
Thank you for the wisdom. I need to be reminded of that very thing from time to time.
Thank you for this great reminder… I really fell into this when we moved overseas. Life is harder here, I felt like I needed him more, and blessing upon blessing, he took on more responsibility to help me adjust to the more difficult tasks around the house. Now that he is in the office more, I need to keep watching how I respond to him. Thank you for the reminder!
I found this very helpful and i do try so hard – i find it so much harder to not react when he is out at a work function or drinks. Would you do the same?
Doing this has made an immense difference for our marriage as well. There’s so much more peace and harmony!