Grief.
Deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement.
An unfortunate outcome.
Most people don’t like to grieve.
So they ignore it. They stuff it.
Some people can’t get through grief.
So they live there in an eternal pity party.
A rare few embrace it as it’s rightful season.
So they push through it.
They cry when they need to, laugh when they remember happy times and move forward, one itty bitty step at a time.
What do you do with grief?
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As someone who is in the middle of grief I can tell you what is working for me. A friend who lost a child several years ago gave this piece of wisdom that has helped me more than anything else. She said, “Lisa, you can’t control how many times a day you miss Carole, or think about her. What you CAN control is where you let those thoughts take you. Let them take you to a good place.”
So every time I miss my friend, rather than allowing my thoughts to go to a crash site, a morgue, or a funeral, I allow them to take me to snowball fights, motorcycle rides, and 5 hour long talks. I get to choose whether I am going to be grateful for the time I had with Carole, or if I am going to have a pity party about what I’ve lost. I choose gratitude. The pain is still there, but like a good dose of morphine, gratitude takes the edge off.
I’m attempting to push through. It’s not easy. Right now, there are days that I just want to run and hide. But, I know that no matter where I go. There will be the greif. The pain. And the constant feeling like I’m being punched in the gut. But, in that pain; a friend will say something to me or I’ll hear a wonderful song or read something that will remove the pain for a moment. And before long, I’ll go through a spell that the pain isn’t so present, and I’m living. Right now, it’s a rollercoaster. But I know that I’ll get through and there will again be a time when the pain isn’t so present so much of the time. Thank you for the post.
i have been grieving for a long time now. there has been so much loss in my life in the past year. initially i’m doing better these days at allowing myself to face and feel in the moment.
a friend of mine did a fantastic series of posts on grief that really helped me, too:
http://traceepersiko.wordpress.com/category/grief/
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