Comments on: Expected Trust

By: John B.

John B. — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 02:37:10 +0000

As a recovering sex addict I will say, I have been so selfish that i would do what ever it takes to get what ever my flesh yerned for! When I told my wife of my infidelity it hurt her, of course. I met with Chris Beall a while back and one thing that he warned me, never say “just get over it”! Big mistake! I’m not gonna lie, because of my selfishness and my hurry to be able to do what i want with out being watched like a hawk, i was tempted to say just that! God got ahold of me, and i pray that God will get ahold of your husbands and exhusbands and show them who they are in Christ, and that He still love them and wants to use them! God Bless!

By: Aerin

Aerin — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 14:57:44 +0000

Thank you for this, Cindy. I wish I could send it to my daughter’s father to maybe make a little nick in his unremorse for at least one of the hurtful things he did to destroy his family. I believe in the midst of pain and hurting if the doer of the pain and hurt could just step away from themselves and truly be remosreful and apologetic it eases the pain. Without that the wound is left to “get infected” what else does it have to do if it is not taken care of and given time to mend. We live in a place where “getting over it” seems to be the motto. Not only did I have my betrayer telling me to get over it but people in his family and people I thought to be friends. I needed to read this today. I also read the betrayer hurts too, but I’ve have yet to see
“someone is humble and broken about their mistake and desires to make amends by working like crazy to prove it.” Maybe if I had seen even a little of this I could have forgiven one last time. I really appreciate you opening up and writing this.

By: alece

alece — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 20:20:40 +0000

my husband never got to that point. he was never broken over what he did, and he insisted, literally, that i just get over it and trust him again. told me that i need to stop “going back there if you’re saying you want to move forward”.

it’s not surprising he chose to leave.

he wasn’t willing to do the hard work of being real. of humbling himself before God and me (and so many others). of rebuilding trust rather than simply expecting it as a handout.

By: mishel

mishel — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 15:58:43 +0000

Ahh…the “new normal”. Trying to find it myself. Great post.

By: Kim David

Kim David — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 14:55:24 +0000

You never know…what’s in their head !

By: Angelina

Angelina — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 02:56:59 +0000

*sigh* This message is touching right at the core of my inner being. 17 years…..3 children….. and I’m EXPECTED to TRUST??? To just forget about it? Excuse me!?!

I continue to pray. Seeking answers. Still shedding tears. Tried to forgive. It’s hard to forgive when they are still giving you reason to doubt.

By: inthesameboat

inthesameboat — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 19:10:35 +0000

I wonder if it is easier for our husbands to wish us to live in the place of forgiveness and trust right away, rather than the healing process that is essentail to go through to arrive at forgiveness and trust.

By: nikkie

nikkie — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:03:16 +0000

thanks for the honesty, cindy. this one dug a little deep, but the honesty’s good nonetheless. not an easy road-God is faithful.

By: HeatherL

HeatherL — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 15:33:22 +0000

We have delt A LOT with forgiving & forgetting. I have forgiven my husband but I will never forget. Sometime I feel like those are the same thing for him. If I have forgiven him then I should forget it never happened, it is something that changed our marriage so I will never forget it has taken years for me to get to a place of peace, our marriage is different & stronger, I just will never forget( although at time I wish I could)

By: Natalie Witcher

Natalie Witcher — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 15:04:22 +0000

Guuurrl!