It’s My Story: BJ

When BJ shared his story with me by way of email, I was astounded to say the least. Here’s what he shared:
I struggled with pornography for many years.  I always thought that was just a part of being a man….  It wasn’t until my life fell apart when I realized the effects.  While I do not use it as an excuse for what I have done, I believe it played a major role.  After 10 years of marriage I had an affair which led to a divorce.  I now know that pornography robbed me of my ability to be a good father, love my wife, and have a real relationship with Jesus. Our divorce was final in February of 2010. That whole year for me was spent wondering ‘what happened’ and how it could’ve happened. I had suicidal thoughts all the time, and if it hadn’t been for our little girl, I don’t know. She was pretty much all I had left.  I know that is scary, but it is true.  I was almost defeated.
I imagine you can understand the feeling of defeat because of what happened. I have talked to more men and women who can’t believe they were unfaithful. It was as if they were almost living in a dream. But one day, BJ woke up and took God at his Word. 
At the first of this year (2011) after a tithe sermon, my pastor started talking about fasting.  He was talking about how you can use your hunger for food and turn it into a hunger for The Word.   So I tried it.  But I didn’t fast food.  I fasted porn! As silly as that sounds….. I used my hunger for sin and turned it into a hunger for the word. I made a vow to God that for 21 days anytime I had a thought or urge,  I would go to Him.   About a week into it, after putting all my trust in Jesus,  something happened.   Now this is the honest truth, I said “The Prayer”, I  gave him everything with no expectation of anything in return. Within minutes, my life changed. Seriously, minutes!! Within weeks my wife and I where back together (through a series of miracles.)  The twenty one day thing…. Well there was no way I was going back to those chains after feeling the freedom I felt. I truly felt like a man. It was awesome.  It is awesome!!! And every day  I grow stronger, and my love for my wife grows stronger.  This love I now have is hard to explain, but it is something I am now addicted too.   I love the way I look at my wife.   I love the way I value my wife. I love the way it makes me feel. And I never knew it was out there. There has been so many miracles happen in the last ten months for us and they keep coming. When I say our situation was hopeless, it’s  an understatement! I never thought is was possible to repair the damage I had done, but the day I started believing, everything changed!! Just believe!!! All things are possible.  We are definitely living proof!!   We didn’t almost get divorced, we were divorced.
How ’bout that. His story is living proof that it’s never too late to see the hand of God displayed in our lives. I know this story will speak to some of you and I pray you are encouraged and inspired by it.  I know that BJ and his wife would appreciate any encouragement you might have for them. And pray for them because we know that they will need it!

9 thoughts on “It’s My Story: BJ

  1. BJ, I’m so happy and am praising God with you for the strength, love, and mercy he gave to your life! And now He has done the miraculous and brought you and your wife back together to be the family He created you to be! He truly is awesome. Thank you for sharing your story. I wish these stories could be on the 5 o clock news so ALL people would see that God is still performing miracles today-and through Him all these are possible! Your family will be in my prayers…of thanksgiving and for continued growth.

  2. Amazing. I love to hear how God is Restoring! He is always giving and desiring to speak to our hearts. So thankful that you both were listening. Keep listening, He has so much to say to both of you! Blessings!

  3. Loved your story it is amazing how pornography can mess up your marriage I keep hearing and have read in Cindy and Chris’ book sin always progresses. I see it everyday more and more. I praise God He restored your marriage so now it’s so incredibly awesome even though it was probably the hardest thing you have ever done. I know what you mean when you prayed and totally giving it to God no strings attached how it can change your life. God’s word will give us strength when we feel its not working on our own. I am praying for you and your wife. I encourage you both to keep sharing your story so many can relate out there. Your story offers Hope, Love and Redemption. Blessings to you both 🙂

  4. BJ,

    Praise God for bringing you to a place of freedom in your life and for restoring your marriage! Thank you so much for sharing your story. I found out a year ago that my husband had an addiction to pornography beginning at a young age. As Cindy and Chris share, sin always progresses. I felt like I was reading our story in much of your words. My husband walked into an affair with a coworker last December. He moved out in February and left the other woman in August for two weeks. Then he went back to her and filed for divorce in September. I will not stop praying for him or our marriage. Please continue to share your story. It is a reminder that God heals hurting marriages.

  5. Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. Me and Stephanie are in a place we never before experienced. “Better than new” is true and a reality for us. The strength that only comes from putting all of our trust is Jesus is the key. No way are we strong enough on our own. I know I wanted to make things work before but I was weak, and impossible of acheiving it with a porn addiction. Only when I was free, and my eyes were opened, did the impossible become possible. Divorce is not the end. When I changed my way of thinking and started honoring my wedding vows instead of my divorce papers, it was over for the enemy!!! It’s only a set of papers….. I would love to help out in any way possible. Thank you again.

  6. What an amazing story of redemption and God’s mercy!! I LOVE OUR GOD! BJ and Stephanie, I’m so happy for you both and will be praying God’s strength and courage for your marriage. Thank you for sharing your story! My husband and I have a similar story and we love to hear other stories of redemption and forgiveness!

  7. Our God is the master of rebuilding and restoring marriages. Your story is an inspiration. It is encouraging to hear how lives are transformed and made new through Christ. I am praying for you and Stephanie as you continue on your journey together. Thank you for sharing your story!

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