When BJ shared his story with me by way of email, I was astounded to say the least. Here’s what he shared:
I struggled with pornography for many years. I always thought that was just a part of being a man…. It wasn’t until my life fell apart when I realized the effects. While I do not use it as an excuse for what I have done, I believe it played a major role. After 10 years of marriage I had an affair which led to a divorce. I now know that pornography robbed me of my ability to be a good father, love my wife, and have a real relationship with Jesus. Our divorce was final in February of 2010. That whole year for me was spent wondering ‘what happened’ and how it could’ve happened. I had suicidal thoughts all the time, and if it hadn’t been for our little girl, I don’t know. She was pretty much all I had left. I know that is scary, but it is true. I was almost defeated.
I imagine you can understand the feeling of defeat because of what happened. I have talked to more men and women who can’t believe they were unfaithful. It was as if they were almost living in a dream. But one day, BJ woke up and took God at his Word.
At the first of this year (2011) after a tithe sermon, my pastor started talking about fasting. He was talking about how you can use your hunger for food and turn it into a hunger for The Word. So I tried it. But I didn’t fast food. I fasted porn! As silly as that sounds….. I used my hunger for sin and turned it into a hunger for the word. I made a vow to God that for 21 days anytime I had a thought or urge, I would go to Him. About a week into it, after putting all my trust in Jesus, something happened. Now this is the honest truth, I said “The Prayer”, I gave him everything with no expectation of anything in return. Within minutes, my life changed. Seriously, minutes!! Within weeks my wife and I where back together (through a series of miracles.) The twenty one day thing…. Well there was no way I was going back to those chains after feeling the freedom I felt. I truly felt like a man. It was awesome. It is awesome!!! And every day I grow stronger, and my love for my wife grows stronger. This love I now have is hard to explain, but it is something I am now addicted too. I love the way I look at my wife. I love the way I value my wife. I love the way it makes me feel. And I never knew it was out there. There has been so many miracles happen in the last ten months for us and they keep coming. When I say our situation was hopeless, it’s an understatement! I never thought is was possible to repair the damage I had done, but the day I started believing, everything changed!! Just believe!!! All things are possible. We are definitely living proof!! We didn’t almost get divorced, we were divorced.
How ’bout that. His story is living proof that it’s never too late to see the hand of God displayed in our lives. I know this story will speak to some of you and I pray you are encouraged and inspired by it.
I know that BJ and his wife would appreciate any encouragement you might have for them. And pray for them because we know that they will need it!