It’s My Story: Brandy

She’s in the throws of pain right now. I know this because she emailed me a couple of weeks ago and asked:
How long will it take to feel that my husband really loves me?
Doesn’t that just break your heart? Brandy just found out less than three weeks ago that her husband has been unfaithful to her. She said in her email to me that they spent the weekend crying and talking and (her) shouting and then crying and talking some more. Listen as she shares what God spoke to her:
I spent about three hours praying and crying and praying and reading my Bible and talking to God. He reminded me of all He has forgiven me for. He reminded me that He has been with me this whole time. He reminded me that His love is not just for me but also for my husband. I got home that night and I told my husband that I forgive him, and I want to move forward. My husband says he is willing, wants to move forward, and says that he did not ever want to leave me for the other girl.
I love how God speaks so clearly to our hearts. Brandy is blessed because she truly gets forgiveness. Forgiveness is so much more about ourselves and our response to God. When we truly understand all that God has forgiven us of, we will then willingly forgive those who’ve hurt us. It takes time for the pain to go away, yes, but we can push through it and make the choice to forgive. So, how are they doing a couple of weeks later? Here’s an update:
My husband has agreed to do the iMarriage study with me and he has agreed to go to church with me. At this time I donโ€™t know if he is going to church for me or for God. Iโ€™m praying God’s word will start to be planted inside him though.
Brandy and her husband need your prayers like crazy. Things are still touch and go. Even though she has chosen to forgive her husband, the pain is still there. Contrary to popular opinion, just because we remember the pain doesn’t mean that we haven’t forgiven. Pain is pain and it just hurts. I know Brandy would appreciate your encouragement as they embark on a journey of healing. And if you’d like to connect with her, please let me know in the comments below.

12 thoughts on “It’s My Story: Brandy

  1. Brandy, God has spoken clearly to you and to your heart. Write it down and His promises that are in the bible. Post it on your bathroom mirror, on your car visor, on your fridge, where ever you might be. Let His words soothe the pain in your heart. No man (husband, preacher, elder or friend) can speak to us like He can! His words are alive and for us at the very moment we need them. He is True. Praying for you.

  2. Brandy, you and I are on the same paths it seems. I’m in God’s word daily, praying for my husband like crazy, and praying God’s strength, wisdom and clarity for my life. That’s the one thing that has carried me through all of this. And, it’s touch and go, day by day for us. I will keep you in my prayers and would love to connect with you if you’d like a prayer warrior. I know I can use all that I can get!

  3. Brandy, I commend you for listening to God’s voice in the midst of your pain. I pray that His peace and comfort surround you and your husband during this time. You and I are walking similar paths, as I am still adjusting to my new “normal” and it really is one day at a time. One verse that has been very close to my heart is, Exodus 14:14: “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” He can make all things new! I am connecting with Brandy that posted on my story, is this the same Brandy? If so I am excited to get to know you more! And if this is a different Brandy, I would love to offer you encouragement and prayer along your journey.

  4. Hi Brandy, It takes awhile, but soon you will feel little moments of love when everything seems okay. Gradually the times of doubt and anguish will get shorter and the happy times will get longer. I remember at the the beginning, I would get sad and depressed for a few hours every day and I would remind myself that this is only going to last a little bit and then I would be okay again. Later, it was every other day, then once a week, then monthly.

  5. Brandy praying for you and your husband right now, praying that God gives the same words to your husband He gave you and that he starts listening to what God is telling him. I pray when he’s in church the messages get through and he starts to hear Gods message. I’m sorry for all the pain you feel right now, sometimes you may feel that it will never stop. I remember reading in Cindy Bealls book that you need to grieve and let the tears come, even though it hurts so much crying is good.
    ” The righteous cry and the Lord hears,
    And delivers them out of all their troubles
    The Lord is near to the brokenhearted,
    And saves those crushed in Spirit.” Psalm 34:17-18

    I’m so glad you shared your testimony you are not alone and God will use you to help others and tgeyvin turn will help pray and encourage you. I will continue to pray for you and your husband and restoration in your marriage. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Brandy, I am praying for you and your husband. I commend you for choosing to not only stay with him but also to forgive him. You will be overwhelmingly blessed by this decision. Don’t forget to continually seek Him so you can continue walking in forgiveness. The enemy will do everything he can to derail you and keep you from moving forward. Cling to your Lord.

  7. Hi, Brandy,

    It seems you and I are walking similar paths. Just remember forgiveness is a process so don’t beat yourself up if you have an angry or depressed day. What has happened to you isn’t a small thing. Give yourself permission to fully grieve. You can still be working toward forgiveness while going up and down emotionally. I pray that God will lead you and your husband into some really good counseling. My husband also said he never wanted to leave me for the other person. It’s taken some good solid counseling to get to the root of some of his issues that stem from poor coping skills, childhood abuse and undiagnosed anxiety. Remember, this is a marathon and not a sprint. It may take awhile to feel normal again but take each day one step at a time ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Thank you to everyone for your loving support and encouragement! Cindy, thank you for this opportunity to share with a group of believers who have been there…or are currently there. All of the comments truly encourage me and are most appreciated. Please let Cindy know if you would like to be in further contact with me.
    In Christ, Brandy

  9. Paula, yes, I would love to have a prayer warrior if you are able to be in touch…same for Hailey and anyone else. I would love to pray for you all as well! Hailey, I did send you an email…not sure if you got it. @S, thank you so much for the encouragement and the validation that the grieving process does take time. Last night I was just on my knees and I still felt so much anxiety but I know God was there the whole time!! I’m taking it one day at a time. Thank you ladies…and Cindy!

  10. Brandy, thank you for sharing your story. I am single and dealing with very painful memories in the not-so-far past, of being hurt by friends and their friends. I thought I had come to a point of forgiveness, but I sometimes doubt if I truly have forgiven because the pain is still so close to me. They have not apologized, nor so much as acknowledged that they hurt me, but seem to want to sweep the whole thing under the rug. And so I find it difficult to even be around them and have even taken myself out of the church, where I would run into them.

    I’m sorry for your pain and feel some guilt in knowing that at least I am not married to the ones who’ve hurt me, while you are. At the same time, your story has made me rethink my own situation and … I’m thinking of how I might go back to our church and try to heal things. I know I cannot escape forever, but I am afraid. Your story has given me a vision of hope, that which I have been slowly losing.

    I thank God for you and thank you for allowing him to move through you. I am praying for you and your family.

  11. Thank you also to Cindy, for your reassuring words that just because we still feel pain does not mean that we haven’t forgiven. It really spoke into my life right now. God bless you.

  12. Jennifer, thank you for responding. It has been a HUGE help to me also knowing that feelings of hurt, anger, pain does not mean unforgiveness. Unfortunately I have a past of many mistakes BUT thankfully knowing God’s unconditional love does help me in this situation.
    I encourage you to renew the relationship at your church.
    I lost a friend long ago and even though I don’t think our relationship could ever be what it was I think of her often and wish it wouldn’t have ended how it did.
    Remember true healing comes from God….if you give your all and they don’t respond then you will be more at peace for knowing you did everything you could do with the Holy Spirit.
    If you would like a prayer warrior or just someone to talk to, encourage you on your journey please feel free to email me, brandylee21@hotmail.com

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