You humble me, Lord. I’m on my knees…empty. You humble me, Lord. So, please, please, please…forgive me.On December 15, 2008, I began a journey that was sure to end in failure. Or at least that is what I sort of thought. Even though I showed absolute gumption and sheer determination on the exterior, on the inside, well, I was scared like a schoolgirl who wanted to call her mom. Facing this dreaded demon of mine called food addiction was something I didn’t think I could do. I mean, as I write this I am just three months shy of my 39th birthday. Waiting 38 years to deal with this doesn’t exactly show how high on my priority list it was. But finally, I could take it no more. The bondage, the jail cell that I had put myself in was growing smaller by the day. I had to do something. So I took a leap. With that leap came enthusiasm, nervousness, excitement, my 30-lb weight loss and subsequent 47-point drop in my already high cholesterol, but most of all, freedom came. And it was well received. I used phrases like “not today” and “food is fuel” to help me train my mind to see food as merely sustenance and not maintain my romance with food. And it worked. For a long time. In fact, seven months later, it’s still working. For the most part. I must tell you that I’m struggling. Like the other day when I took two “unplanned” bites of the blackberry crumble that was leftover from my schedule “sweet day”. Or just the other day when the hubby and I made the most amazing flatbread pizza. I had an extra piece. I really wanted fifteen extra pieces, but I didn’t. That’s something, right? So, I write all of this on the WWW because it’s what I do. But also because I want you, my fellow sojourners in this thing called life, to know that life is hard. Days will come that will get the best of you. You will fail. You will be disappointed in yourself. And that is okay. The Lord humbles people in different ways. Maybe this food addiction, my own personal “thorn in the flesh” is what I need to keep me postured toward humility because I certainly can’t do it without Him. Shake the dust off your feet and press on. There is a goal waiting for you.
Norah Jones is one of my favorite singer/songwriters. I think her jazzy, sultry tone is perfect for an evening on the porch or a long drive to my home state to pass the hours. Because, you understand, I know every single solitary note and word to her songs. And I sing loud. This isn’t necessarily because her roots are deep in the heart of Texas. While that definitely does this misplaced Texan’s heart some good, it’s not the only reason I love her. One song in particular of hers that I love goes like this: